k4t0 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Would you believe it, I was sat here looking at porn and all of a sudden I felt the urge to shit. I got all the way to the shitter, nipping it in as it felt like a scene from a film where they are trying to break into a castle with a battering ram, only in reverse, I'm not sure my sping is going to hold out for much longer, its an emergency as I got to the shitter to find....No fucking toilet roll. Now, in the time I have taken to write this I am losing the battle, anyone got any ideas what you can wipe your arse on that isnt painfull as I fear my arsehole will be in tatters after the ordeal and if I nip to the shop I reckon I may shit meself in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 No but it made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k4t0 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Author Share Posted June 28, 2007 charmin Anyway, I am now typing this stood up naked with a bit of a problem, I would use a sock but then I would have to wash my clothes in shit. In fact, had I thought on I could have pinched one off into said sock, used the outside to wipe and then flung the entire thing at the bastard that used my last few sheets of tp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I have used my flatmates eye makeup removal cotton thingys to wipe my arse on more than one occasion. So soft and gentle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 charmin Anyway, I am now typing this stood up naked with a bit of a problem, I would use a sock but then I would have to wash my clothes in shit. In fact, had I thought on I could have pinched one off into said sock, used the outside to wipe and then flung the entire thing at the bastard that used my last few sheets of tp. You found some then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k4t0 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Author Share Posted June 28, 2007 thats a truly great idea. I don't have a flatmate or any cotton bud thingys... I might just strut upstairs and ask charles and eddy (not the real c and e) if I could borrow some shitroll, however last time i asked to borrow some milk i got a cup of tea and breakfast. Id rather not stink the poor old bastards out for the night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k4t0 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Author Share Posted June 28, 2007 charmin Anyway, I am now typing this stood up naked with a bit of a problem, I would use a sock but then I would have to wash my clothes in shit. In fact, had I thought on I could have pinched one off into said sock, used the outside to wipe and then flung the entire thing at the bastard that used my last few sheets of tp. You found some then? nah, I was being a sarcastic shitty ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Should be a law about leaving the roll empty tbh Best thing to do is get your lass to have a bairn then there's always baby wipes around to fall back on, well at least for a couple of years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Should be a law about leaving the roll empty tbh Best thing to do is get your lass to have a bairn then there's always baby wipes around to fall back on, well at least for a couple of years Its only when you have a kid and attempted changing a nappy and use regular toilet roll to wipe its arse, before you realise how inefficient lav paper is, which probably explains the usual condition of my pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Just have a poo then have a shower afterwards aiming the shower hose solely at your arse. I've done that before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midds 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Just use both socks and hoy the pair of them both out rather than wash them. For future reference like... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magma 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 or just hold it in and go and get some more loo roll Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 shit in the shower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k4t0 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Author Share Posted June 28, 2007 its ok, I found a rubber glove, some persil and the bog brush I'm a bit sore but my back wheels are more buffed than jay zees Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Did you finish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13921 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 How about.... Buying 2 x 12 packs of toilet roll and keep an eye on when they are running out.... then.... when they are running out...... Buy more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 its ok, I found a rubber glove, some persil and the bog brush I'm a bit sore but my back wheels are more buffed than jay zees What the fuck did you do with those 3 items to clean yourself up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 its ok, I found a rubber glove, some persil and the bog brush I'm a bit sore but my back wheels are more buffed than jay zees What the fuck did you do with those 3 items to clean yourself up? Thats what i was thinking but was to scared to ask Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k4t0 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Author Share Posted June 28, 2007 How about.... Buying 2 x 12 packs of toilet roll and keep an eye on when they are running out.... then.... when they are running out...... Buy more. oh right, and have a housefull of shitpaper, not only that, but look incontinent at tesco. I like the young filthy till lasses, no can do, if they think I'm still in nappies then I'm onto a loser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 How about.... Buying 2 x 12 packs of toilet roll and keep an eye on when they are running out.... then.... when they are running out...... Buy more. oh right, and have a housefull of shitpaper, not only that, but look incontinent at tesco. I like the young filthy till lasses, no can do, if they think I'm still in nappies then I'm onto a loser Luke will have a pop at you for that last line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k4t0 0 Posted June 28, 2007 Author Share Posted June 28, 2007 its ok, I found a rubber glove, some persil and the bog brush I'm a bit sore but my back wheels are more buffed than jay zees What the fuck did you do with those 3 items to clean yourself up? Thats what i was thinking but was to scared to ask well, i got in the bath on all fours, let rip with a piss on the bog brush (felt the brine would help shift the dry bits) chucked on the persil for the bubbles (non bio of course) then gave myself the reacharound treatment. I put the rubber glove between my teeth to chew down on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 its ok, I found a rubber glove, some persil and the bog brush I'm a bit sore but my back wheels are more buffed than jay zees What the fuck did you do with those 3 items to clean yourself up? Thats what i was thinking but was to scared to ask well, i got in the bath on all fours, let rip with a piss on the bog brush (felt the brine would help shift the dry bits) chucked on the persil for the bubbles (non bio of course) then gave myself the reacharound treatment. I put the rubber glove between my teeth to chew down on Nice...any photo's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrBass 2357 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 its ok, I found a rubber glove, some persil and the bog brush I'm a bit sore but my back wheels are more buffed than jay zees What the fuck did you do with those 3 items to clean yourself up? Thats what i was thinking but was to scared to ask well, i got in the bath on all fours, let rip with a piss on the bog brush (felt the brine would help shift the dry bits) chucked on the persil for the bubbles (non bio of course) then gave myself the reacharound treatment. I put the rubber glove between my teeth to chew down on Sounds like something from a dodgy porn movie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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