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Dr Gloom

classic Alan Oliver

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the man has come out with some classics over the years

 

this latest gem got me thinking...

 

In fact, he sent the United players a “good luck” text last Thursday night from East London – even former chairman Freddy Shepherd received one as he enjoyed cocktails with his pal Tony Blair in Barbados.

 

...what's the most ridiculous bit of copy you can remember reading from the ronnie gill's chief football writer over the years?

 

post your favourite bits below so we can all have a good laugh at his expense.

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Guest alex

Not a quote as such but I do remember an Oliver interview with Supermac telling us we'd got the best right-sided player in Europe (along with Dino Baggio) when we signed Warren Barton.

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the man has come out with some classics over the years

 

this latest gem got me thinking...

 

In fact, he sent the United players a “good luck” text last Thursday night from East London – even former chairman Freddy Shepherd received one as he enjoyed cocktails with his pal Tony Blair in Barbados.

 

...what's the most ridiculous bit of copy you can remember reading from the ronnie gill's chief football writer over the years?

 

post your favourite bits below so we can all have a good laugh at his expense.

 

 

hhmmm someone's been fibbing it seems......

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6896760.stm

 

Last Updated: Thursday, 12 July 2007, 21:48 GMT 22:48 UK

 

Blair gets to grips with mobiles

 

Tony Blair has been talking about getting to grips with life after Downing St by finally learning to text.

The former prime minister told a Labour Party fundraising event he had learnt how to use text messages, only to receive one back asking: "Who are you?"

 

Stopping when traffic lights were on red was also a new experience - as PM his driver used to go straight through.

 

Also at the event, attended by Gordon Brown, were singer Mick Hucknall and Manchester Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson.

 

Mr Blair bought his first mobile phone last October, but appears to have failed to find time to learn to use it before he stepped down as prime minister last month.

 

He has long been seen as a technophobe, being described by former colleagues as "a pen and paper person".

 

New Labour's former media chief, Alastair Campbell, last year said of Mr Blair: "He tries - he's got a computer screen on his desk... it's pretty idle."

 

Last year it was revealed he had finally got his own e-mail account and he has admitted getting his daughter Kathryn to load songs on to his iPod.

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the man has come out with some classics over the years

 

this latest gem got me thinking...

 

In fact, he sent the United players a “good luck” text last Thursday night from East London – even former chairman Freddy Shepherd received one as he enjoyed cocktails with his pal Tony Blair in Barbados.

 

...what's the most ridiculous bit of copy you can remember reading from the ronnie gill's chief football writer over the years?

 

post your favourite bits below so we can all have a good laugh at his expense.

 

 

hhmmm someone's been fibbing it seems......

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6896760.stm

 

Last Updated: Thursday, 12 July 2007, 21:48 GMT 22:48 UK

 

Blair gets to grips with mobiles

 

Tony Blair has been talking about getting to grips with life after Downing St by finally learning to text.

The former prime minister told a Labour Party fundraising event he had learnt how to use text messages, only to receive one back asking: "Who are you?"

 

Stopping when traffic lights were on red was also a new experience - as PM his driver used to go straight through.

 

Also at the event, attended by Gordon Brown, were singer Mick Hucknall and Manchester Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson.

 

Mr Blair bought his first mobile phone last October, but appears to have failed to find time to learn to use it before he stepped down as prime minister last month.

 

He has long been seen as a technophobe, being described by former colleagues as "a pen and paper person".

 

New Labour's former media chief, Alastair Campbell, last year said of Mr Blair: "He tries - he's got a computer screen on his desk... it's pretty idle."

 

Last year it was revealed he had finally got his own e-mail account and he has admitted getting his daughter Kathryn to load songs on to his iPod.

 

:lol:

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Not directly but his general "a foreigner can't manage NUFC" always bugged me.

 

Just thinking, despite being now fully behind Allardyce, that particular restriction is presumably now lifted with the demise of Shepherd.

 

 

An honourable mention for "Geordie boy Lee Clark".

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The way he was desperately trying to make the appointment of Souness look good by insisting he had been a serious contender for the Chelsea job was utterly ridiculous.

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Also - NJS mentioned it above - Oliver's stupid drivel about foreign managers (and players) is just cringeworthy. "United supporters want a manager who has a feel for the club", etc.

 

I also love how he repeatedly took digs at Allardyce when Roeder and Souness were in charge, saying that we were better off without him and that we were lucky Allardyce didn't get the job after he turned us down. Singing a different tune now, eh?

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The one about him hoping Dyer drives his flash car over the swing bridge and never darkens our doors again.

Edited by Sima

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Guest alex
The way he was desperately trying to make the appointment of Souness look good by insisting he had been a serious contender for the Chelsea job was utterly ridiculous.

Forgot about that. That was a whopper :lol:

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Jan 24 2005 - But they have never been as deep as they are today following a very public and acrimonious bust-up between manager Graeme Souness and striker Craig Bellamy.

 

In my opinion, Souness is paying the price of the previous managerial regime which did not address situations like this.

 

Sept 2005 The United fans made it clear right from the first whistle that they were against Bellamy after the way Graeme Souness was forced to show him the door.

 

Apr 15 2006 When the undoubted star of Match of the Day was Craig Bellamy - the man he sold for a pittance because he could not handle him.

 

 

Sep 15 2005

 

Souness is one of the most honest people I have met in football

 

My stance on the Bellamy situation has never changed from day one. Yes, he could be a pain in the butt at times.

 

But he was a bigger pain to opposing sides. And there had to be a better solution by Souness than just to get rid of him.

 

 

Not the remarks themselves but just the way he is such a contrary cunt. He spends more time brown nosing than telling people what he really thinks. Shit journalism tbh

 

Loads of others but its his inability to be honest that pisses me off. He's more concerned with being on some fuckers xmas card list than reporting.

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Guest stevieintoon

two things stand out one, the day after I mentioned, Warren Barton was once the worlds' most expensive defender ever, he writes in the Chronicle. "Warren Barton feels United can push on this season, the toon legend, once the costliest right back world football believes...."

 

The second was me and many others had a concerted dig on Alan Oliver on Newcastle Online this one week. In his Saturday column "They think it's Oliver, it is now!", he said people who knew about computers tell him he gets more coverage than the United players. Talk about turning a huge negative in to a positive, the cunt reads Newcastle Online, that is a known fact, he probably reads this now, since I've been banned.

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Also - NJS mentioned it above - Oliver's stupid drivel about foreign managers (and players) is just cringeworthy. "United supporters want a manager who has a feel for the club", etc.

 

I also love how he repeatedly took digs at Allardyce when Roeder and Souness were in charge, saying that we were better off without him and that we were lucky Allardyce didn't get the job after he turned us down. Singing a different tune now, eh?

 

The man is a complete cnut. He has no journalistic integrity or weight behind anything he does because he kisses the arse of whoever is in charge and won't ever take any of them on, until he see the winds of change and jumps ship and starts little snide remarks, until they're definitely on the out and he'll give them loads of shit and kiss the arse of the next one!

 

I can't remember the exact quotes but somebody found a paragraph about Allardyce before he was here and the one after and Anal completely contradicted evreything he had said.

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I hate the man with a passion. He's up their with Alex Ferguson as people I'd like to practice my recently sharpened knives on....

 

I haven't got any quotes but this is typical of the propaganda you get with the man -

I firmly believe Greame Souness/Glenn Roeder/Sam Allerdyce/Insert name as applicable is the right man for Newcastle United Football club

 

Then when it goes belly up in a matter of years

Me and the fans never wanted Greame Souness/Glenn Roeder/Sam Allerdyce/Insert name as applicable why were the board so narrow minded and hasty in their appointment? especially when you consider Insert manager who's done vaguely well anywhere across the length and breadth Europe in the past 15 years may or may not have been available and interested in the job

Edited by The Fink!

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When we lost at Bolton, it was along the lines of:

 

"Well, the Chronicle never thinks it speaks for all the fans, but all the fans are glad we have the cool cucumber that is Graeme Souness, rather than the bully boy Allardyce and his cronies that Bolton have".

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Guest alex

When Gullit went about the task of replacing the defence adding the likes of Marcelino, Goma and Dumas to Domi (who was already at the club) he likened it to Brian Clough who'd done the same thing at Forest prior to them winning the European Cup. It might have been John Gibson but I think it was Oliver. Absolute classic in retrospect.

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Also - NJS mentioned it above - Oliver's stupid drivel about foreign managers (and players) is just cringeworthy. "United supporters want a manager who has a feel for the club", etc.

 

I also love how he repeatedly took digs at Allardyce when Roeder and Souness were in charge, saying that we were better off without him and that we were lucky Allardyce didn't get the job after he turned us down. Singing a different tune now, eh?

 

The man is a complete cnut. He has no journalistic integrity or weight behind anything he does because he kisses the arse of whoever is in charge and won't ever take any of them on, until he see the winds of change and jumps ship and starts little snide remarks, until they're definitely on the out and he'll give them loads of shit and kiss the arse of the next one!

 

I can't remember the exact quotes but somebody found a paragraph about Allardyce before he was here and the one after and Anal completely contradicted evreything he had said.

 

Why Big Sam's not the man for Toon

 

Mar 6 2006

 

By Alan Oliver, The Evening Chronicle

 

 

Those fans who have had a little wager on Sam Allardyce being the next manager of Newcastle United know what they have to do today - tear up their betting slip.

 

The bookies make Big Sam third favourite behind Martin O'Neill and Roberto Mancini, but there is no way the United supporters will want to see their team playing the way Bolton play - even if it's another 50 years before they win a trophy.

 

In fact, it's a good job Alan Green, the Radio Five man who called Bolton's football ugly and fell out with Allardyce, wasn't at St James' Park on Saturday.

 

Ugly? That was almost playing Bolton a compliment. It was joyless, brutal stuff, especially compared with some of the one-touch football United played at times.

 

 

Take, for example, the build-up for the second goal.

 

Emre, Scott Parker and Celestine Babayaro were all involved before the ball was fed out to Charles N'Zogbia on the left and the Frenchman put over the sort of cross that Alan Shearer craves, and which he hardly ever got during the previous regime.

 

And who cares if Bolton keeper Jussi Jaaskelainen made a pig's breakfast of Shearer's header?

 

Certainly not Glenn Roeder, who prepares his team more thoroughly than I have ever known a United manager do so in the past 30 years.

 

Shearer has been shackled to the dugout in the last three games, and you did not need to be a brain surgeon to realise just how happy he was to be out playing again.

 

And I have to say that Shearer, despite getting a raw deal from a surprisingly inefficient referee in Alan Wiley and his assistant on the far side, was nothing short of awesome on Saturday.

 

But he wasn't the only one. In fact, the hardest job for United supporters was picking their man of the match.

 

Some went for Emre. Yet for me, Scott Parker just edged it because of the way he never let Bolton settle.

 

It was a day when United did not have a weakness, even with Michael Owen, Kieron Dyer, Titus Bramble, Steven Taylor and Stephen Carr all still missing.

 

As a result, they scored three goals for only the second time at St James' Park this season, and at 3-0 were on course for a few more.

 

But Shola Ameobi was still celebrating his goal and could not drag his weary bones off the floor as Bolton got a consolation.

 

This stopped United getting what would have been a deserved fourth clean sheet in a row and, amazingly, it was the first goal they have conceded under Roeder from open play in his six matches in charge.

 

And you have to remember that this has been achieved with the same defence he inherited at the beginning of last month.

 

It's now 13 points out of 15 for Roeder as United moved briefly into the highest position - 10th - that they have been in all season, though they dropped down a slot yesterday when Manchester City beat Sunderland.

 

Roeder and United will be in Manchester themselves for their next little test - against the Reds at Old Trafford on Sunday.

 

And Roeder, who masterminded a League victory over Man Utd on their own pitch in his time as manager of West Ham, will be bidding to do what no Newcastle manager has done since Joe Harvey in 1972: beat the side from Old Trafford in front of their own fans.

 

But with the newly-found confidence, team spirit and organisation, at least Roeder will take his merry men to the North West knowing that they have a chance after the way they brought Everton and now Bolton down with a bang.

 

Verdict: A truly excellent victory for United against one of the most uncompromising teams in the Premiership.

 

awesome

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Certainly not Glenn Roeder, who prepares his team more thoroughly than I have ever known a United manager do so in the past 30 years.

 

awesome

 

:lol:

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