trophyshy 6441 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Canny stuff people..cheers trophyshy especially..I will be using your password fortwith! U r welcome mate. If its useful enough perhaps you'd consider a small contribution to my worthy cause below. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill 0 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I got the bride to place her left hand on the table and then asked the groom to place his right hand on hers, set it up early in the speech and kept referencing it throughout (i.e. is it still there). Then the final sentence was... And as my final act as best man it has given me great pleasure in allowing <insert groom> the final five minutes when he'll ever have the upper hand over <insert bride>. I was at a wedding last year where that happened, it went down quite well like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted July 18, 2008 Author Share Posted July 18, 2008 Well..the weddings on Sunday and I've finished off my speech..although I keep re-reading it and think it's shit tbh. Thanks for everyone's advice though, much appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Well..the weddings on Sunday and I've finished off my speech..although I keep re-reading it and think it's shit tbh. Thanks for everyone's advice though, much appreciated! There's your opening line right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Did you drop in the line about going through loads of paper in preparing for the speech, toilet paper that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 I went to one where the best man related a story (during the speech btw) about the groom pleasuring some lass with a bottle because he couldn't get a hard on. Not really the right audience like You could hear a pin drop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted July 21, 2008 Author Share Posted July 21, 2008 It went really well! I'm chuffed to bits, got some great feedback from people and I even sensed I wasn't being patronised! Good work fellas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9065 Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Scribbling mine out now... anybody got some killer lines they've heard since this thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Scribbling mine out now... anybody got some killer lines they've heard since this thread? I'm not saying x is no good with the ladies, but Wayne Rooney's paid for less sex. I'm here all week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27305 Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 I went to one where the best man related a story (during the speech btw) about the groom pleasuring some lass with a bottle because he couldn't get a hard on. Not really the right audience like You could hear a pin drop. Not quite the same, but I once saw a pissed father of the bride give a speech where he told everyone he'd now seen his third daughter married and all of his son-in-laws weren't "worth a fucking light", then sat down with a scowl. There was a fight not long after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19889 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 i used this 'ice breaker' at mine. got a few laughs. 'being asked to be a best man is like being asked to make love to the queen. it's a great honour but no one wants to do it' otherwise, i'd recommend using snaps on a projector to take the piss out of their lack of style, dodgy haircuts over the years, that kind of thing - all in he nicest possible way of course. and don't forget to end it with some heart felt cheese - but only after after you've ribbed the groom as much as you can. top tip - avoid inappropriate gags or anecdotes. my mate was really nervous during his best man speech for his brother, got way too pissed and started telling stories about how the groom used to stick his star wars figures up his arse while they took baths together as kids. as you can imagine, it didn't go down as well as he hoped. he ended up rambling for about 10 minutes too long to the extent that people started talking/going to the bar during his speech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anth 54 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Start with "They say the best man's speech is the worst five minutes of the groom's day. The bride's worst five minutes, of course, come later." Sorted. I actually used this as an opener at only one person laughed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Start with "They say the best man's speech is the worst five minutes of the groom's day. The bride's worst five minutes, of course, come later." Sorted. I actually used this as an opener at only one person laughed! My guess is it was you an all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 two of us did best man, i'd normally be the more weary one, other guy the laid back one. Is that the standard thing? A bit like good cop / bad cop? Weary best man / laid back best man. New one of me anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 two of us did best man, i'd normally be the more weary one, other guy the laid back one. Is that the standard thing? A bit like good cop / bad cop? Weary best man / laid back best man. New one of me anyway. Assuming he means 'wary' rather than 'weary' too. You'd hardly want some shabby-arsed double act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 two of us did best man, i'd normally be the more weary one, other guy the laid back one. Is that the standard thing? A bit like good cop / bad cop? Weary best man / laid back best man. New one of me anyway. Assuming he means 'wary' rather than 'weary' too. You'd hardly want some shabby-arsed double act. I know that man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I'm far from convinced tbh. Far from convinced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I just read it in a Belfast accent tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anth 54 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Start with "They say the best man's speech is the worst five minutes of the groom's day. The bride's worst five minutes, of course, come later." Sorted. I actually used this as an opener at only one person laughed! My guess is it was you an all. Luckily It was one of my knacker mates who genuinley thought it was funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donaldstott 0 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 you could always deliver as the two high pitched brothers from Hartlepool off Vic and Bobs show... that'd make me laugh, regardless of the content. I used... They are one of those couples you know are just perfect for each other - Romeo & Juliet, John & Yoko, Shrek & Donkey. Wnet down well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Wouldn't do it ever again, nightmare I thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13884 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Yeh I heard the audience said yours was a bit short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Yeh I heard the audience said yours was a bit short. Went down well as it happens but didn't enjoy the waiting for it one bit, would have rather got married if I'm honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Yeh I heard the audience said yours was a bit short. Brides father: "How far away's he?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Wankers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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