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http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2008/...newcastleunited

 

Kinnear needs a programme he can swear by

 

Perhaps a collection of mild-mannered managers could give Joe Kinnear lessons in charming the press

 

Oh to be a fly on the wall if Joe Kinnear is ever coaxed into attending the League Managers Association media training course. Shocked by the Newcastle United interim coach's recent press conference swearfest, the LMA hopes he will sign up for some remedial therapy.

 

It would be even more fun if JFK - get it? - was subjected to a re-programming process. I hope the LMA will give serious thought to my proposal that Lennie Lawrence, David O'Leary, Sir Bobby Robson, Roy Keane and Sven-Goran Eriksson will each provide private tutorials in different aspects of media manipulation, sorry "management".

 

Lawrence genuinely liked certain reporters but appreciated many are just as egotistical yet insecure as footballers. "Get the press on your side," as the former Charlton and Middlesbrough manager once reflected, could be lesson one at the whiteboard. "You can buy yourself an extra six months in a tough job, or even get a better one."

 

Like Lawrence, our second lecturer is only too familiar with the nuanced shades of grey characterising the symbiotic relationship between managers and journalists. Step forward Sir Bobby Robson. Quite apart from introducing a vocabulary-expanding exercise so the student becomes acquainted with the words dignified, magnanimous and generous but is advised to steer clear of paranoid, the one-time England and Newcastle manager can deconstruct the concept of the siege mentality as a modern media strategy. Kinnear calling individual reporters the "c" word may or may not have been part of a grand plan, intended to engender an "us against the world" ethos but, at a time when Newcastle United is being marketed as an international brand, greater sophistication is required.

 

Lateral thinking too but, before we come to Roy Keane's tutorial, David O'Leary is booked for session three; working title "The Charm Offensive".

 

Now the Irishman has manifold faults but there was a time, when his Leeds United side began flying high and Lee Bowyer and Jonathan Woodgate were still to stand trial, that O'Leary had some of England's leading sports writers eating out of his hand. Deploying a mix of good manners and rudimentary psychology he developed a habit of looking these men straight in the eye, addressing them by their first names and even phoning a few favourites - ie the most influential - for cosy chats.

 

It worked. Granted Leeds played some really nice stuff, but the number of gushing 1,000-word pieces extolling O'Leary's virtues was disproportionate. Had he not self-destructed, those eulogies might just have helped land him the Real Madrid or Chelsea posts.

 

But then, if media skills were as important as tactical vision or transfer market acumen, Keane would have already bundled Sir Alex Ferguson out of the Manchester United hotseat.

 

Sunderland's articulate, publicly expletive-free, manager affects to understand the enemy that is the press. Having expressed sympathy for a profession frequently under pressure to apply journalistic top-spin to the usual anodyne comments, Keane is capable of seeing newspapers as the next day's fish and chip wrapper rather than a reason to keep his libel lawyer on speed-dial.

 

Yet while media relations are often mere sub-plots in football's drama, managers still need the right skills to keep reporters sweet. Keane - who increasingly uses am-dram-style eye rolls to signify displeasure - believes they must "be actors, playing different roles, with different people".

 

He can devote the remainder of his tutorial to the knack of addressing assorted, often unrelated, issues which deflect attention from a disappointing team performance. Certainly after being treated to Keane's discourses on the shopping habits of Wags and the hypocrisy of fellow managers, it seems almost churlish to criticise his, at times, bizarre transfer market acquisitions.

 

As anyone connected with Manchester City or England will tell you, civility is the "c" word synonymous with Eriksson. The current Mexico coach - a man as likely to swear at writers as ignore an opportunity to chat up a pretty woman - can fly in to Heathrow to complete JFK's re-programming. Like all his co-tutors, Eriksson is flawed. No matter. The Swede's impeccable courtesy towards everyone who enters his orbit means he will remembered for much more than being a decent coach with a penchant for chasing a bit of skirt and a fast buck. Sometimes manners really do maketh managers.

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Really quite a dull article from the mackem scribbler. These tuppenny hacks are so ridiculously self important, I hope JFK calls her and her ilk cunts all over again, they deserve it.

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I'm not reading that idiot's drivel. :razz:

 

 

It's not worth it, she says next to nothing in all those word, barring a quick <_< of Keane.

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I'm not reading that idiot's drivel. :razz:

 

 

It's not worth it, she says next to nothing in all those word, barring a quick <_< of Keane.

 

That smiley :icon_lol:

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Some of the comments are spot on. There's the ones taking her to task for her writing, and then there's this:

 

FTM21

 

Oct 09 08, 9:06am (30 minutes ago)

 

Is that what Louise Taylor looks like? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ahhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

 

I'll even forgive the username for that. <_<

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Guest alex

Going off Meenzer's avatar and Keane's penchant for canines I think it's clear what's going on here.

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Going off Meenzer's avatar and Keane's penchant for canines I think it's clear what's going on here.

 

Is that actually her??

 

<_<

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Guest alex
Going off Meenzer's avatar and Keane's penchant for canines I think it's clear what's going on here.

 

Is that actually her??

 

<_<

Aye, have a look at the link for the article.

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Guest alex

Is Parky still claiming he thinks she's sexy btw? Wouldn't be the first time he was into something he hadn't seen.

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Is Parky still claiming he thinks she's sexy btw? Wouldn't be the first time he was into something he hadn't seen.

 

C'mon... what else can you expect from Captain Contrary?? <_<

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Going off Meenzer's avatar and Keane's penchant for canines I think it's clear what's going on here.

 

Is that actually her??

 

<_<

 

et2.jpg

 

That's her :razz:

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But then, if media skills were as important as tactical vision or transfer market acumen, Keane would have already bundled Sir Alex Ferguson out of the Manchester United hotseat.

 

Sunderland's articulate, publicly expletive-free, manager affects to understand the enemy that is the press. Having expressed sympathy for a profession frequently under pressure to apply journalistic top-spin to the usual anodyne comments, Keane is capable of seeing newspapers as the next day's fish and chip wrapper rather than a reason to keep his libel lawyer on speed-dial.

 

I can smell her gash dripping.

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But then, if media skills were as important as tactical vision or transfer market acumen, Keane would have already bundled Sir Alex Ferguson out of the Manchester United hotseat.

 

Sunderland's articulate, publicly expletive-free, manager affects to understand the enemy that is the press. Having expressed sympathy for a profession frequently under pressure to apply journalistic top-spin to the usual anodyne comments, Keane is capable of seeing newspapers as the next day's fish and chip wrapper rather than a reason to keep his libel lawyer on speed-dial.

 

I can smell her gash dripping.

 

Good grief!

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But then, if media skills were as important as tactical vision or transfer market acumen, Keane would have already bundled Sir Alex Ferguson out of the Manchester United hotseat.

 

Sunderland's articulate, publicly expletive-free, manager affects to understand the enemy that is the press. Having expressed sympathy for a profession frequently under pressure to apply journalistic top-spin to the usual anodyne comments, Keane is capable of seeing newspapers as the next day's fish and chip wrapper rather than a reason to keep his libel lawyer on speed-dial.

 

I can smell her gash dripping.

 

Good grief!

 

 

I bet keane's ecstatic at the thought of her wanting his cock

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http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2008/...newcastleunited

 

 

As anyone connected with Manchester City or England will tell you, civility is the "c" word synonymous with Eriksson. The current Mexico coach - a man as likely to swear at writers as ignore an opportunity to chat up a pretty woman - can fly in to Heathrow to complete JFK's re-programming. Like all his co-tutors, Eriksson is flawed. No matter. The Swede's impeccable courtesy towards everyone who enters his orbit means he will remembered for much more than being a decent coach with a penchant for chasing a bit of skirt and a fast buck. Sometimes manners really do maketh managers.

 

Does her fuckin' editor read her stuff before it's passed?? What absolute 6th form journalism. The Guardian must be aiming its sights on capturing the Daily Star readership with shite like that.

 

Oh, and I would love to know what this hound thought about Peyter Reid and his language when Premier Passions was on the go. Stupid bitch.

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What a dreadful paragraph. Is Fish ghost-writing her column btw?

<_<

Hoo!

 

Fuck off the pair of you. :razz:

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