Jimbo 133 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/mikenorrish/b...ls_at_newcastle In times like these, we should all be truly grateful for Newcastle United. America has Jon Stewart's Daily Show to provide laughter in the dark. We get Horne and Corden. So it's little wonder the country laps up the comic relief offered by Newcastle's pant-wetting pantomime. At times surreal, often slapstick, sometimes sad but forever side-splitting, Newcastle is sit-com at its best. You know what's coming, but wet yourself anyway. Much of the humour comes from the gap between delusion and reality. It's a David Brent-type deal. He sees himself as a "chilled-out entertainer", we see him as a c**k. If Brent was depressed about his weight and stifled by his job, it wouldn't be funny. But because he turns presentations into stand-up routines and goes home to fetch his guitar, it's hilarious. Same with Newcastle. If they aimed to beat Sunderland twice a year and finish in the top half, you'd find another club to laugh at. Tottenham, for example. Instead they appoint Messiahs rather than managers and act as if glorious, winning football is their birthright. You'd think after a lifetime in the gutter, you might start looking at the pavement rather than the stars. Not at Newcastle. In this season alone, we've had the the Keegan crisis, the Cockney Mafia protests, the (second) Keegan walk-out, the Sports Soccer boycott, the Venables snub, the Joe Kinnear bombshell, the Joe Kinn'ell press conference, the For Sale sign, the Nigerian hoax, Ashley's Shiekh-snubbing Dubai trip, Charles Insomnia, the Ashley mea culpa and now the firefighting hero strutting in to save the day. That's approaching a lethal dose of giggling in just a few short months. I'm not claiming Shearer won't succeed in keeping Newcastle afloat. He probably will. But what then? Will Ashley bankroll an assault on the Champions League? Or will Shearer ride his pit pony into the sunset to be replaced by another Toon hero? Has anyone got Gazza's number? At least Shearer's arrival should see the back of Dennis Wise, thereby bringing an end to one of the season's most burning questions. Namely: What the hell has Wise got on Ashley? There must be something. Perhaps Wise once caught Ashley rifling through the bargain bin at JJB Sports. Maybe he found that Tottenham calendar the big man was sneakily hiding in his desk. How do you explain why Ashley kept a London-based and Geordie-hated figure on the payroll for so long. Particularly as Wise's brief is to buy players for what is now a selling club. On one level though, I'd rather not know all the answers. I like Newcastle the way they are. Their purpose is make us laugh, and they are wildly successful at it. If you're in any doubt about that, just look at today's date. It's there in black and white. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13915 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 A wind up article. Nothing more. Nothing less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 Yep! And I wouldnt change a thing!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 I know it's just a blog but for a newspaper like the Telegraph (boring as fuck generally but excellent on the football side of things) you'd expect better than that trite claptrap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26786 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 There's a reason it's on an online blog than in the paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20132 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 it's a blog man. it's designed to wind people up and get people talking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asprilla 96 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 it's a blog man. it's designed to wind people up and get people talking Yep. I didn't read past the first sentence, as I am fortunate to be equipped with a sophisticated internets decoding device which magically separates things that are worth reading and things which aren't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 it's a blog man. it's designed to wind people up and get people talking Yep. I didn't read past the first sentence, as I am fortunate to be equipped with a sophisticated internets decoding device which magically separates things that are worth reading and things which aren't. Must save you a lot of time on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asprilla 96 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 it's a blog man. it's designed to wind people up and get people talking Yep. I didn't read past the first sentence, as I am fortunate to be equipped with a sophisticated internets decoding device which magically separates things that are worth reading and things which aren't. Must save you a lot of time on here. *post blocked* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMoog 0 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 Hehe, some folk are bitter aren't they - we have a relationship with supporting our team that they could only dream of! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douggy B 0 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 Hehe, some folk are bitter aren't they - we have a relationship with supporting our team that they could only dream of! Scouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now