Howmanheyman 27427 Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 "Hi Alan, it's sky here, are you available to commentate on the Spurs v Arsenal match day?" "Absoloitely and can oi say it should be an absoloitely tremendous match as the North London matches tend to boi." "Errr, well err, if you could just do the forest v man city game after Gary does the spurs v arsenal match that would be really fantastic." "Hello? Hello? Alan? Are you still there?" 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2213 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 Come on ! Someone else give this post ^ a like. One more for a well deserved 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27427 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 8 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: Come on ! Someone else give this post ^ a like. One more for a well deserved 10. Sorted. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 10 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: Come on ! Someone else give this post ^ a like. One more for a well deserved 10. Bit miffed at how this got more likes than my post about trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi in the General Chat forum but each of their own. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2213 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 Just now, Howmanheyman said: Sorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27427 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 16 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said: Bit miffed at how this got more likes than my post about trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi in the General Chat forum but each of their own. There's no justice, Mr raspberry jam, no justice. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39097 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 1 hour ago, MrRaspberryJam said: Bit miffed at how this got more likes than my post about trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi in the General Chat forum but each of their own. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 4 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Well well well. I guess this isn’t the forum for eating-your-own-shit enthusiasts that I thought it would be. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39097 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 2 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said: Well well well. I guess this isn’t the forum for eating-your-own-shit enthusiasts that I thought it would be. More of a glass coffee table chap, myself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 Just now, Monkeys Fist said: More of a glass coffee table chap, myself. I like to shit on my glass coffee table and then put two or three coffee table books on top of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39097 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 Just now, MrRaspberryJam said: I like to shit on my glass coffee table and then put two or three coffee table books on top of it. As a surprise for your dinner guest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 Right. In the last 24 hours I’ve talked about smearing shit on Roy Keanes car bonnet, smearing Roy Keanes shit on Roy Keanes car bonnet, trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi and squashing my own shit on a glass coffee table. I think I’m gonna knock it on the head talking about shit now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2213 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 1 minute ago, MrRaspberryJam said: Right. In the last 24 hours I’ve talked about smearing shit on Roy Keanes car bonnet, smearing Roy Keanes shit on Roy Keanes car bonnet, trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi and squashing my own shit on a glass coffee table. I think I’m gonna knock it on the head talking about shit now. What do you think of sunderland ? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20074 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 1 hour ago, MrRaspberryJam said: Bit miffed at how this got more likes than my post about trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi in the General Chat forum but each of their own. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 4 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: What do you think of sunderland ? Im trying to think of something witty and funny to reply with other than “shit” but I can’t think of anything. I’ve got nothing. Nada. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 75points until I get my next rank of “Collaborator”. I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank all the shit I’ve talked about eating and smearing for helping me achieve such an accolade. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39097 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 21 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said: Right. In the last 24 hours I’ve talked about smearing shit on Roy Keanes car bonnet, smearing Roy Keanes shit on Roy Keanes car bonnet, trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi and squashing my own shit on a glass coffee table. I think I’m gonna knock it on the head talking about shit now. Your patter reeks. When I used to work on the ropes, we had the BT call centres and high rise admin contract. The one in Glasgow had this fucking huge woman as facilities manger, I mean she had a gunt that could run an oil burning generator for a year or two. Fucking massive. She was also an absolute twat, the type who treated contractors as if she was paying them with her own money. Everywhere else for BT, I’d have a few minutes chat with the FM, then get the lads together and have a quick toolbox talk. This fucking whale insisted on having the whole crew in the FM office and she’d go through each floor of the building, telling us where “extra care” was needed, where was “parrrticularrly duurty” etc. One time, we had a few new lads with us, so just before we went in to her office I turned around, got all the lads attention and said ” I’m sure you’ve heard the tales about Moby here- all true. One very important thing lads, whatever you do, don’t picture her shitting on her glass coffee table back home” Then opened the door and ushered everyone in. It was fucking glorious- as she started listing off smears and stains I could hear the lads behind biting their tongues, cough/laughing, turning in to Finbarr Saunders- a couple excused themselves saying they needed the toilet. Worked a fucking treat 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 2 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Your patter reeks. When I used to work on the ropes, we had the BT call centres and high rise admin contract. The one in Glasgow had this fucking huge woman as facilities manger, I mean she had a gunt that could run an oil burning generator for a year or two. Fucking massive. She was also an absolute twat, the type who treated contractors as if she was paying them with her own money. Everywhere else for BT, I’d have a few minutes chat with the FM, then get the lads together and have a quick toolbox talk. This fucking whale insisted on having the whole crew in the FM office and she’d go through each floor of the building, telling us where “extra care” was needed, where was “parrrticularrly duurty” etc. One time, we had a few new lads with us, so just before we went in to her office I turned around, got all the lads attention and said ” I’m sure you’ve heard the tales about Moby here- all true. One very important thing lads, whatever you do, don’t picture her shitting on her glass coffee table back home” Then opened the door and ushered everyone in. It was fucking glorious- as she started listing off smears and stains I could hear the lads behind biting their tongues, cough/laughing, turning in to Finbarr Saunders- a couple excused themselves saying they needed the toilet. Worked a fucking treat Lovely stuff. 💩 😆 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 On a serious note it’s good this is a forum where you can openly talk about smearing or eating shit. It’s just what I needed after I got a perma ban on N-O for spoiling a game of Traitors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2213 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 6 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said: On a serious note it’s good this is a forum where you can openly talk about smearing or eating shit. It’s just what I needed after I got a perma ban on N-O for spoiling a game of Traitors. A ban for that ? That's shit 😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 1 minute ago, Tdansmith said: A ban for that ? That's shit 😂 You post on there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2213 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 3 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said: You post on there? Nah. I was banned years ago. I do read it a lot, but it's to strict. They wouldn't put up with my temper tantrums anyway😂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 3 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: Nah. I was banned years ago. I do read it a lot, but it's to strict. They wouldn't put up with my temper tantrums anyway😂 Aye I mean it’s definitely a canny forum for sure but a permanent ban for spoiling a game of Traitors man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2213 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 1 minute ago, MrRaspberryJam said: Aye I mean it’s definitely a canny forum for sure but a permanent ban for spoiling a game of Traitors man. Stick to this place, much better. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRaspberryJam 251 Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 2 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: Stick to this place, much better. We’ll see. I might get banned for talking (about) shit too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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