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Gentlemen *tips hat* I’m putting today’s win down to the fact that we had an old skool catch up today. JawD kindly invited myself, Pud, Jill and Ritchie to the game. I also took that new baby that I had 5 minutes ago and gave him the day off his GCSE revision. There was lots of reminiscing and disbelief at how old we are. Anyway, beating that lot will always be amongst my happiest days and it was much needed today ❤️

"Which one of you is Simon Bird?" "Ah bucked ya ma, yi daft cunt" "Nah, seriously though. Eddie's canny ill at the minute like." "Got the clap from rifling Birdy's ma."

Following our unexpected outage the other day, and a few people saying they didn't know where to look for updates I thought I ought to update the OP here with where you can check if the board isn't working. Status Updates; For quick updates on what is happening check the patreon, you do not need to be a patron to see these posts; https://www.patreon.com/ToontasticNet Backup board; Discord, we're keeping this private so no invite link will be posted publicly, if you want access to this then DM any of the mods and we'll send the invite like directly to you. See Rayvins post here; Original Post; Sorry about that chaps, it seems some of our config got itself in a mess of its own accord and stuffed the board up for a while there! The folks who host our servers were very helpful and we're back online. I can't promise this won't happen again as I essentially had to restore the config from a week old backup but if it does I am much better equipped now to deal with it much more quickly. As you were.

We’re 4th. Heaton Stan are safe. We’ve already won a cup. The kids and my lass are away to Euro Disney with my parents while I babysit the dogs. I’ve just made a batch of madras. I’m off work tomorrow. I’m mildly tobleroned and enjoying a negroni. Chillax, lads. CL is almost in the bag and even if it’s not it’s still been the best season of my entire life whatever happens.

seagull's cottoning on to the fact that if they're gonna be used as a sex toy they have every right to be wined and dined first.

5-0 xg.... we should've lost. what sort of profoundly stupid thundercunts take this shite seriously man?

Hell on. Obviously.

I know we all want to qualify for the CL but I’m 56 and this the best season I have ever witnessed. No matter what happens from here on in this season will go down in history for me.

Mak'em here. No rivalry bollox on this. Get well soon Eddie.

All seasons go down in history tbf

56? Mate I thought you were at least in your late 60s early 70s with your crack. Nay offence

All Aboard!!!!! 3-2 to us.

Bristol fans singing “dont you know pump it up, united won the cup” at the mackems fewm

what the fuck's this cunt on about??

It's the blood money we are paying to the other teams to throw the games marra

Well unlike @ohhh_yeah I haven’t won a fortune and been jetting off around the world ….congratulations by the way, great stuff. But I managed to jettison my phone into fuckin orbit and shatter the fucker, and then the pain in the arse of forgetting my password! ….and due to low funds because of serious liver abuse (said liver being on its arse) because of celebrating like a bastid lunatic for what seems like months, a health worker mate of mine wondering how I’m still alive …but here I am, albeit a dribbling idiot and today has only added to that …..HTFL You beautiful black and white bastards

I am just glad they took off Barnes at half time.

I knew I recognised him from somewhere

Have you tried to fight fire with fire and started to talk about xG back to him?

Back in the saddle.

leeds premier league highlights 25/26

Oooooeeee a prediction from Dougie. Absolutely BESIDE MYSELF to see how this one works out.

Glad your old man’s home and recovering Chaser. I’m usually 100% pro NHS , but I’ve got to say that in my experience Renal nurses absolutely take the piss out of their patients.

It’s more than that. We can’t have anything like the standard of living we have in this country if we cut ourselves off from and boycott goods from places like China. Who are easily equally bad from a human rights pov, whilst presenting much more of an existential threat and having what essentially amounts to ambitions of world wide domination. Their tech was probably made there. The minerals inside it were probably mined using an African workforce who earn next to fuck all and shorten their lifespan considerably doing so. So I guess any sensible person realises we live in a global economy where we are the winners in many ways. And any stance you take about one single thing just makes you a hypocrite about practically everything else when it comes to things like this. But no, we’re supposed to go along with everything else but football club ownership is beyond the pale? And it’s really driven because they’re pissed off it’s NUFC crashing the party. With its fiercely loyal supporters who deserve a patronising pat on the head (but we can’t have them actually winning things!) They built that whole article about one daft cunt who gave it to the man by listening to the cup final on the radio instead of watching it on fucking free to air telly. He really showed them. I hope we keep winning stuff and it keeps boiling their piss. Which it especially will if it’s to the detriment of their beloved chosen ‘big clubs’.

Just like everyone else in Liverpool then.

I have had no media for almost a month. I am not a gambler but I found four unscratched lottery tickets. The third one I scratched, I fucking won $25,000. The Mrs. and myself have had quite the adventure since. We made our way back home last night. First we flew off to Vancouver and went to Whistler, British Columbia and spent two weeks on the mountain. Then flew to Kingston for four nights and then finished off in Nassau, Bahamas. From there we went to Seattle for a night and then rented a car and drove the complete highway 101. This morning I awoke, fired up the youtube and sat back and watched the match and parade. Unbelievable scenes! I am so proud of the club and the players. Absolute legends. I have the biggest smile I have had in a long time.

What a game or two halves that was. Absolutely bossed it first half against 11 men. Looked nervous and sluggish second half, the performance feeding the anxiety in the crowd until the second goal. I had an, erm, interesting end to the match. I jumped up to celebrate the second goal, tripped over the seat in front of me then ended up sparking myself out as I landed head first on the concrete in the row below me. Ended up spending the final minutes of the game being checked for concussion by doctors.

Fucking hell. It's only going to get worse on here from now onwards regarding nostalgia. Wykiki: "Eeeh, we played t'Subbuteo when ah were young, none of this t'EA Sports rubbish.... " HMHM "Why aye man, jumpers fro goal posts man down Walker way, climbing up the bombed out houses, Japs and Commandos....." PL "Hoots Mon, Ken that one we played with the sheep? No even allowed nowadays..." Gemmill "Aye, I had Kevin Tom's Football Manager on me speccy, I remember it didn't even have xG stats correct mind......"

you had to be there. you were probably out jogging....

with both ct and hmhm here. the promotion season with keegan the manager after so nearly going down to the 3rd division was fucking immense, we went top of the table in september and then stopped there. as if that wasn't enough we were introduced to a young lad away at swindon town in late march, andy cole who'd go on to notch 12 goals including 2 hat tricks in the last 10 games, fucking unstoppable. not gonna dwell too long on the following season, just enough to say that finishing 3rd in the top division was the stuff of fucking fantasy for anybody who'd supported nufc throughout the 70s/80s (and earlier for those older), it would provide for us the following year the opportunity to see us play in europe for the 1st time (for me) but also we played football which at times was sublime, the best football I've ever seen newcastle play in my life, NOWT has come close, I doubt it ever will. I love isak, but andy fucking cole man.... for fucks sake! I was lucky enough to have a good chat with keegan in 2018 and thank him for the memories he'd provided, he asked ne which was the best.... the promotion season in 83/84 was unbeatable for me. I'd seen my teenage home in the leazes pulled down in '78, we were shit, really shit. I cut my teeth as a regular away supporter under mcgarry as a mid/late teen in the 2nd division, with cox, varadi, waddle it improved a bit, and again the next year after the initial euphoria of keegan signing, but 83/84 man... our ground was a shit tip, every fucker was on the dole, hooliganism was an adrenaline pumping head fuck, the miners strike had started, the north/south divide felt like a chasm. I plodged in ponds on golf courses looking for balls to sell, I did cash in hand fiddle jobs as a builder's labourer, I tarmaced the roads at feathers caravan park in whitley bay, I scraped the money together to see us at every away game that season amongst the biggest away support you could ever witness, we took over cities, towns and football grounds in our thousands and thousands in a way which can never be replicated, we were a proper army. I was 21 year old, invincible, devilishly handsome and despite all the shit we were going through as a region I've never been so proud to be a geordie in my life.

The kind of tragedy here is that I think with the right policies, PR, strategies and a willingness to work together, the Lib Dems could take a lot of the middle England Tory heartland seats in a GE and Labour could defeat Reform. I think the LDs would be up for it with some concessions on voting reform (no pun intended). Not a fucking hope that Labour would do the right thing though. Not least as there’s an aversion to the left wing principles that a lot of their MPs still have. A lack of honesty of things like the EU, a weird desire to repeat the Tory mistakes of moving to the right to beat Farage and Co, trying to have their cake and eat it with Trump and a fucking disastrous PR machine which seems to alienate almost everyone. By trying to please everyone by focus grouping the fuck out of everyone you just look like you’ve got no principles and take no one with you. It’s difficult not to despise Starmer at this point. If someone like me feels like that, what chance have they got?

this is football heritage

Ditto Whitley bay town centre, but I have found the worlds best charity shop

FYP

I think Emery has proved himself as a very capable manager. He took an underperforming side, made some shrewd additions and really got them playing. But over the past five years they’ve been the sixth biggest spending club in the PL so you would expect them to be around about where they’re at. For comparison, we’re the eight biggest spending club in the PL and are sitting third and have won a trophy so there’s no doubt that Eddie’s massive cajones are outperforming Emery’s shrivelled pea sized testicles. The big difference between the two is that I believe that Emery looked at our managerial vacancy as a job. Eddie Howe looked at it as his personal project.

My daughter has had some health issues recently, but is on the road to recovery. I gave her some money to buy herself a new top as a little pick-me-up. It arrived today. She’s definitely mine

You’ll never ever beat Dan Burn’s knob, He’s from Blyth

We went for a full family holiday with my wife’s side in wales once. So, me and her, her parents, her two brothers with partners and 3 kids. On the third day I snuck off for a beer on my own to read my book at the pub, after pandering to every cunt for a weekend. 15 minutes later they all turned up, cos they fancied a drink.. So I drove back to the holiday home on my own and had a beer and read my book.

In a stunning turn of credit he spent his last day on earth deliberately ignoring JD vance, sending a cardinal to meet him and lecture him on compassion instead. Then he died. Brilliant, top Poping right there.

I don't know if it has been mentioned on here (as I couldn't be arsed trawling through the xG drivel) but Pope did very well on the penalty. Feigned to go to his right just as Eze went to strike the ball which made Eze's mind up to go to Pope's left. Murphy also, what a transformation. That's what investing time into coaching players gets you rather than being a lazy thin skinned, fat bodied, snide who relies on his son to stick up for him on social media. Anyway, I'll let you get back to the xG now, apologies for derailing the thread with an observation about the actual fucking match.

The highlights are on the clubs youtube channel and watching them back I noticed two things about Isak. 1. He was SO annoyed with himself about the chances he missed but still gave props to the players who'd set them up 2. Despite the misses he still took his goal first time, at distance with absolute confidence. A lesser player would've taken touches, brought the ball further forward and risked losing the chance after the earlier misses. He's fucking brilliant.

Just stepped out the back of my house, in Forest Hall, and heard the unmistakable sound of “ Naaa na na na-na-na naaah Geordies!” coming from SJP. 7 miles away. Fucking glorious.

Howe has been holding Tindall back all this time.

Thank God it's you saying this. If it had've been Gemmill we'd be a week away from Tindall claiming to be the greatest manager in PL history and holding up a letter from Bruno apologising for shagging Tonali's lass.

I love this team man, what a bunch of lads. Of the countless wonderful things that have happened in the last 3 years making a habit of embarrassing Manyoooo is one of the top things on the list for me. Just another thing I never thought I'd see, as regular as this sort of result has become, I think Gemmill mentioned our record against the likes of these and other big games recently, I'm still pinching meself half the time and I hope that feeling never goes away because whats the point if you can't truly enjoy these days. It's the manner of these results as well, we've absolutley blown them away and we play the kind of football people love to see especially when the talk of the town is the boring sideways football lacking character prevalent these days. Even mainstream pundits are (begrdugingly I'm sure) openly admitting it now. Barnes sensational, what a weapon to have. The cup final performance seems to have just lifted him. Tino so impressive again, so happy to see his slight downturn in form was very temporary. And Tonali where do you even start? The goal, the energy and physicality, his movement to link play and cover the full pitch, the understanding of the game coupled with technical brilliance; it feels strange to say in a team with Isak, Bruno but he might really be our best overall player. Mental. There have been a number of outstanding performers this season; Isak, Hall, Burn probably the top for me alongside Tonali but he's been the gamechanger this season in terms of what's different in the squad from last year. Just another month of keeping this up, the final stretch to what already is our best season in 70 years but could get even better. Another day of spending an unholy amount of time on Youtube awaits.

Speaking of keepers….