Jimbo

Damn right, if you ever wonder who loves you more, your wife or your dog, lock both of them in the boot of your car for an hour and see which one is more happy to see you when you let them out.

Top marks for going to get it sorted Craig, us blokes aren't very good when it comes to visiting the Doctor, especially when it comes to problems down below, its too easy to bury your head in the sand and pretend its not really happening, I had what I thought was a cancer scare a while back and its certainly very worrying. I hope that it turns out to be nothing sinister, by the sounds of it you are going early which can't be a bad thing, I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

Mike Tyson has offered to provide counselling and support to troubled Paul Gascoigne when he tours the UK. The former Newcastle United player recently suffered a mental breakdown and had to spend two weeks in a psychiatric hospital. Former heavyweight champion Tyson believes his own chequered past could help the 40-year-old. Tyson is holding a series of speaking engagements in the North in May, including a date in Gateshead. The 41-year-old said: "I know all about Gazza and I feel I can help him. A lot of top sportsmen have suffered in their private lives, including me, and that is why I want to help. "I still see him as a superstar and would like to meet him if he feels up for it." 'On a downer' He has already met England striker, and boxing fan, Wayne Rooney several times. Their first meeting three years ago was a boost for the young footballer at a time when he was under fire for his aggressive style of play. Tyson said: "Back in 2005, Wayne Rooney was on a downer and I met him and lifted his spirits. "I am sure I can do the same for Paul Gascoigne." Tyson was convicted of rape in 1992 and jailed for a day in November 2007 for driving while under the influence of drugs. Gascoigne was detained in February after Northumbria Police were called to a Newcastle hotel following reports he was acting erratically.

You swine ! I want one !

RIP.

I think Red Dwarf went downhill after series 3, I loved it up until then, and as for Hyperdrive, that was woeful.

I can but it might flake off when it dries.

I'll play with myself........

I think that's very harsh, it seems pretty clear to me that the poor bloke was overcome and heartbroken and was obviously not thinking rationally. I hope I never face such a tragic situation and be expected to keep a level of lucidity.

Well it kind of is tragic, it's certainly not nice and you've got to feel sorry for them, but frankly it's not much different to the pair of them killing themselves whilst drunk driving or something. It's completely different, by driving drunk you're endangering other people's lives, this shit only hurts them (physically). Not that I really know what point you were trying to make in the first place. Not if you get in the car then drive straight off a cliff. Basically that the pair of them have no one to blame but themselves, they rolled the dice for fun (up to them), she died (her fault), he couldn't live with it and killed himself (his fault). Could both have been alive if not for their own actions. Sad? Yes. Anyone's fault but their own? Nope. How did he die ? you seem to be pretty sure of it. Well either Prince Philip bumped him off, or he killed himself, I'm fairly sure it'll be the latter. Of course he fucking killed himself, whats with the drink driving analogy ???? You kill yourself drink driving it's your own fault, you kill yourself getting into a scalding bath high on cocaine, alcohol and sleeping tablets it's your own fault. You kill yourself getting into a car with a drunk driver it's your own fault, you kill yourself because you couldn't live with the fact you let your partner die in a scalding bath high on drugs because you were too, it's your own fault. As I said it's not much different to the pair of them killing themselves drunk driving (although that would have been Prince Philips preferred method of doing it). Have you considered a career in bereavement counseling ?

Well it kind of is tragic, it's certainly not nice and you've got to feel sorry for them, but frankly it's not much different to the pair of them killing themselves whilst drunk driving or something. It's completely different, by driving drunk you're endangering other people's lives, this shit only hurts them (physically). Not that I really know what point you were trying to make in the first place. Not if you get in the car then drive straight off a cliff. Basically that the pair of them have no one to blame but themselves, they rolled the dice for fun (up to them), she died (her fault), he couldn't live with it and killed himself (his fault). Could both have been alive if not for their own actions. Sad? Yes. Anyone's fault but their own? Nope. How did he die ? you seem to be pretty sure of it. Well either Prince Philip bumped him off, or he killed himself, I'm fairly sure it'll be the latter. Of course he fucking killed himself, whats with the drink driving analogy ????

Well it kind of is tragic, it's certainly not nice and you've got to feel sorry for them, but frankly it's not much different to the pair of them killing themselves whilst drunk driving or something. It's completely different, by driving drunk you're endangering other people's lives, this shit only hurts them (physically). Not that I really know what point you were trying to make in the first place. Not if you get in the car then drive straight off a cliff. Basically that the pair of them have no one to blame but themselves, they rolled the dice for fun (up to them), she died (her fault), he couldn't live with it and killed himself (his fault). Could both have been alive if not for their own actions. Sad? Yes. Anyone's fault but their own? Nope. How did he die ? you seem to be pretty sure of it.

This is the one I recently got: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Philips-HTS3357-Mu...5891&sr=8-1

TRANSFER RUMOURS David Bentley will choose between either Liverpool or Chelsea as the Premier League giants wage a £15m fight for the Blackburn star this summer. (News of the World) Tottenham are ready to sell French Under-21 skipper Younes Kaboul with Portsmouth interested in the 22-year-old who cost Spurs £7m. (Mail on Sunday) Manchester City are confident of completing the £10m capture of former Eastlands star Shaun Wright-Phillips from Chelsea in the summer. (News of the World) But Chelsea will be splashing the cash themselves with Roman Abramovich signing off £100m for Avram Grant to target players such as Gareth Barry, Atletico Madrid's Sergio Aguero and Lyon's Karim Benzema. (Sunday People) Gerard Pique is considering his Manchester United future after Barcelona declared an interest in re-signing the Spanish centre-back. (News of the World) Manchester United and Arsenal are closing in on Cardiff City's 17-year-old, £6m-rated starlet Aaron Ramsey. (Sunday Express) Portsmouth are winning a three-way fight ahead of Newcastle and Aston Villa to secure the services of Liverpool striker Peter Crouch in a £6m deal this summer. (News of the World) Chelsea have been given renewed hope of signing £25m-rated Sevilla full-back Dani Alves after comments from the player hinting he wants to leave the Spanish club. (News of the World) Man United are eyeing £15m-rated defensive midfielder Miguel Veloso of Sporting Lisbon. (Sunday Telegraph) Back to top OTHER GOSSIP Rafa Benitez will challenge Liverpool co-owner Tom Hicks on claims the American still uses former Germany coach Jurgen Klinnsman as an advisor. (News of the World) Irish horse racing magnates John Magnier and JP McManus - formerly Manchester United's major shareholders - are considering buying into Liverpool and are keen to play a role in the future of the club. (Sunday Express) Manchester City have lost confidence in manager Sven-Goran Eriksson after their slide down the Premier League and are looking to replace him in the summer with Portugal boss Luis Felipe Scolari. (Sunday Times) Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has admitted he wants Barcelona to knock Man United out of the Champions League because of his allegiance to Thierry Henry. (Sunday Express) Back to top AND FINALLY Legendary Brazilian left-back Roberto Carlos sprinted after Ashley Cole - not the other way round - to almost beg the England man to swap shirts with him after Fenerbache's defeat at Chelsea on Wednesday evening. (News of the World) After Diego Maradona has been handing out lavish praise to fellow countryman Javier Mascherano, the Liverpool midfielder is set to invite the Argentine hero to watch him play at troubled Anfield. (Mail on Sunday) Danish Premier League player Andreas Dahl says he has no regrets about kicking a streaker where it hurts when the naked man invaded the pitch during Nordsjalland's game with AaB. "I know it's the steward's job but why shouldn't I?" he said. "He sure went down fast." (The Observer)

Here's the link if you want to listen to the manager's Aussie twang..... http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/e...onf/7318563.stm

Wembley !! Getting my tickets this week !!

Kluivert Vs the toon in the Champions league.

Only two points away from Spuds now.

Excellent away performance.

Is it my telly or is Harper's goal on top of a hill ?

Obviously Villa went out with the Allardyce: "lets not lose" mentality.

looks like the turd will be coming back.

Florin Raducioiu

I don't think we have a good record at Pompey, I certainly think we can win, but I doubt if we will, I'll settle for a draw.