Jimbo

Thanks for negotiating on my behalf, strictly speaking I was the seller, you were just the agent, didn't you think to offer a bung ?

Even though you didn't see any of the transfer fee of the belt, did you or did you not retain the image rights to any merchandise of the belt and a percentage of any future transfer fee ??

Breaking news: Leeds have been put up for sale by administrators KPMG

I'm staying in too, been babysitting all day and Mrs isn't back until 9pm, might pop out and treat myself to a bottle of wine when she's back.

Jorabchian says: "we confirm that Tevez has been in negotiations with other clubs with West Ham's permission, and personal terms have been agreed with Manchester United"

"Carlos Tevez is a registered West Ham United player, contracted to the Club until June 2010. "There is no agreement with West Ham United for Carlos Tevez to leave the Club and we expect him to return in time for next season's preparations. "No decision on his future can be reached without the agreement of West Ham United."

West Ham and Newcastle are set for a £3million tug-of-war over Canadian star Atiba Hutchinson. The FC Copenhagen midfielder played against Manchester United and scored against Celtic in last season's Champions League and could be the right man to help the Hammers survive after the expected departure of Carlos Tevez to Manchester United. The 24-year-old moved to Sweden to play for Osters IF in 2003 before moving to Helsingborgs and he joined the side from the Danish capital in 2006. The club won back-to-back titles in 2006 and 2007.

Jeremy Beadle's anus

Wouldn't be surprised if its Rozehnal.

I was under the impression it was in the region of £80m Chris Mort: “The debt that has accumulated at the club is too high. We will bring that down and we will look to address it very quickly. Mike has bought the club and he has asked me to run it for him. It’s going to be a huge challenge, but it’s one I relish.”

There is now a real danger that Leeds United will not be able to start the new football league season, their administrators KPMG have warned. The comments were made at a High Court hearing in Leeds, where the club's plans to exit administration are being challenged by HM Revenue & Customs. KPMG said that unless the club is able to leave administration, the Football League may not let it start the season. BBC Radio Leeds understands the Football League is as yet undecided. No-one at the Football League was immediately available for comment. Earlier this week, businessman Simon Franks said he was ready to buy Leeds United, through his Redbus investment vehicle. HM Revenue & Customs is unhappy at the plans of Leeds chairman Ken Bates to pull the club out of administration by paying creditors just 8p in every £1. Mr Bates has already warned that the cost of defending the court action could cost the club its future. Leeds United has debts of £35m, with HM Revenue & Customs owned £7.7m in unpaid taxes.

It's not a chat show you know. She's been fairly candid about the issue in the past anyway. For that read, "biggest Davina fan in the world ever!" A guilty pleasure ?

NEWCASTLE United have been granted a work permit for Cameroon star Geremi making the versatile midfielder Sam Allardyce's fourth signing of the summer. The 28-year-old passed a medical and agreed personal terms with the Magpies earlier this week, penning a three-year deal at St.James' after joining on a free transfer from Chelsea. He will join up with his new United team-mates when they return from their training camp in Austria next week. Cameroon international Geremi, who can play in both defence and midfield, has been at Chelsea since 2003, making 72 appearances and scoring four goals. He spent the 2002-03 campaign on loan at Middlesbrough from Real Madrid, and scored seven times in 33 outings for our north east neighbours, including the winner in a Tyne-Tees derby at the Riverside Stadium. That season he was voted Boro's Player of the Year before opting to continue his time in the Premier League with a permanent move to Stamford Bridge. Geremi joined Real in 1999 and played 45 times for the Spanish giants. He began his career at Cameroonian club Racing FC Bafoussam in 1995 before moving to Cerro Porteno in Paraguay two years later for a short stint. After playing six times in South America, he moved on to Turkey in 1997 to join Genclerberligi where he netted nine times in 57 games before leaving for Real Madrid. Geremi made his international debut in 1996 and has 60 caps for Cameroon, scoring six times. He won Olympic gold for his country at the Sydney games in 2000.

Fingers crossed for you.

What, Bellamy to sunlun ?? How long do you reckon it'd take before him and Keane went head to head? Didn't they play together at Celtic? yes, I think they did, 2005 season, Keane joined in the January.

Currently viewing: Last Man Standing Traveler The Universe Man Vs Wild

Always been tempted to give that one a go.

TRANSFER RUMOURS West Ham are interested in signing Liverpool striker Craig Bellamy but want to secure him for less than the Reds' £10m valuation. (Various) But Sunderland manager Roy Keane is also ready to swoop for the Welsh striker and is ready to offer Liverpool £6m for him. (Daily Star) Newcastle could land Barcelona's Eidur Gudjohnsen, who is happy to work again with boss Sam Allardyce. (The Sun) Manchester City want £9m-rated Toulouse striker Johan Elmander. (The Sun) Fulham are set to sign Leeds striker David Healy for £2m. (Daily Mirror) Derby boss Billy Davies wants to sign Sheffield United defender Claude Davis, who he managed while he was in charge at Deepdale. (Various) Tottenham reserve goalkeeper Tommy Forecast is set to join Gillingham on loan. (Daily Mirror) Liverpool are still after new faces, with Roma's Alessandro Mancini, Porto's Ricardo Quaresma and Man Utd's Gabriel Heinze on the wanted list. (The Sun) Arsenal's £6m deal for Auxerre's Bakari Sagna may be off after current Gunner Matthieu Flamini said he is happy to play right-back. (Various) Manchester City are ready to spend £8m on Bayern Munich's 25-year-old striker Roque Santa Cruz. (Daily Star) West Ham will make a £16m double swoop for Liverpool strike pair Djibril Cisse and Craig Bellamy. (Daily Mail) Birmingham midfielder Stephen Clemence is wanted by Championship sides Charlton and Southampton. (Daily Mail) Bolton midfielder Idan Tal is set for talks with Israeli champions Beitar Jerusalem. (Various) West Ham striker Bobby Zamora is a transfer target for Reading, who are ready to pay £2.5m. (Telegraph) Wigan are ready to pay £4.5m to secure the services of West Brom midfielder Jason Koumas. (Telegraph) Chelsea have moved closer to completing deals for Lyon winger Florent Malouda and PSV Eindhoven's Brazilian defender Alex. (The Guardian) Wigan are set to make a £3.2m bid for West Ham striker Marlon Harewood and are also close to signing Fulham's Michael Brown. (The Guardian) Derby are hoping to beat West Brom and Rangers to the signature of Blackburn defender Andy Todd. (The Guardian) Portsmouth are close to clinching a £7m deal to sign Preston striker David Nugent. (The Times) Middlesbrough goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer could be heading for German side Bayern Munich. (The Times) Everton have stepped up their interest in signing West Brom midfielder Jason Koumas. (The Times) And Toffees boss David Moyes is also ready to raid Manchester United for striker Alan Smith and midfielder Kieran Richardson. (The Times) Manchester City might be able to tempt Middlesbrough to sell striker Yakubu Ayegbeni - for £12m. (The Times) West Ham have bid £8m plus Yossi Benayoun for Djibril Cisse, but he is keen on Marseille. (The Times) Aberdeen and Falkirk are still in the chase for Manchester City goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel, who has admitted his future is uncertain. (Daily Record) OTHER GOSSIP Arsenal have rejected Real Madrid's claims that they held talks with Arsene Wenger over their managerial vacancy. The Gunners have said the reports are completely untrue. (Various) Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon has warned manager Jose Mourinho that off-the-field squabbles must end. And he has also hinted that Mourinho will be seen as a failure if he does not lead the Blues to the Premier League title this season. (Various) Arsenal have handed Gilberto Silva the captaincy following the departure of Thierry Henry to Barcelona. (Telegraph) Former Fulham boss Chris Coleman says he can be a trail blazer for foreign managers abroad after being appointed as Real Sociedad boss. (Various) AND FINALLY Birmingham's prospective new owner Carson Yeung will urge manager Steve Bruce to sign payers from Hong Kong once he gets control of the club. Hong Kong businessman Yeung believes Hong Kong players need more opportunities. (Daily Mirror)

Times Online presents the worst 50 footballers to have stunk up England’s elite division in the modern era 50 Claus Lundekvam (Southampton) Saints boss Gordon Strachan paid this glowing tribute to the one-paced Scandinavian in 2003: “He was carried off at Leicester and someone asked me if he was unconscious. I didn’t have a clue. That’s what he’s always like.” 49 Massimo Taibi (Manchester United) United’s worst keeper ever – in a competitive field featuring Mark Bosnich. The Italian takes the prize for that dive over a shot from Matt Le Tissier, an all-time You Tube favourite. 48 Stephane Guiv’arch (Newcastle) Milburn, Macdonald, Shearer and ... Guiv’arch! The World Cup winner never came close to that pantheon. Come to that, he’s lagging in Tyneside’s Hall of Centre-Forward Fame (they could call it Striker Grove) behind Cunningham, Mirandinha and Ameobi. 47 Jody Morris (Chelsea, Leeds) Grew up at Chelsea with Dennis Wise as his mentor, and turned into the snidey kid brother everyone hates. Had all of Wise’s sly tendencies and penchant for a scrape, but none of the skill. Perfect acquisition for Leeds in 2003, then. 46 Nigel Quashie (QPR, Forest, Southampton, WBA and more) Relegated four times with four clubs – and only narrowly avoided No 5 with West Ham last year. 45 Roque Junior (Leeds) The execrable Brazilian arrived on loan for a few months from AC Milan in 2003, and did as much as anybody to shove Leeds towards destruction. 44 Sergei Rebrov (Tottenham) Looked good enough playing alongside Andriy Shevchenko for Dynamo Kiev. Sadly, Glenn Hoddle’s £11m signing never looked the same force with Steffen Iversen. 43 David May (Blackburn, Man United) The guy picked up Premiership winner’s medals with two clubs. But so did Larry Lloyd. 42 Larry Lloyd (Liverpool, Nottingham Forest) See David May (No 43) 41 Bosko Balaban (Aston Villa) They said Deadly Doug was tight, but you can hardly blame him after Ellis fished £6m out of his humbug tin for John Gregory to spend, and the manager came back with the elusive Croatian. He never started a Premiership game and scored no goals. 40 Carlton Palmer (Southampton) “He covers every blade of grass out there,” said Saints manager, Dave Jones. “But that’s only because his first touch is so crap.” 39 Claudio Marangoni (Sunderland) The striker swapped the rolling pampas of Argentina for Wearside when he signed for a club-record £320,000 at Christmas 1979. One year and three goals later he went back home. Only Geordies were sorry to see him go. 38 Glenn Keeley (Everton) Arrived on loan from Blackburn keen to show his mettle at the highest level. On debut in 1982, against Liverpool no less, he was sent off in the first-half, The Reds won 5-0 and he never played for Everton again. 37 Marco Materazzi (Everton) Yes, he won the World Cup with Italy. But the lean centre-half couldn’t tackle a Sayers’ steak and kidney pie during his pointless spell at Goodison. 36 John Jensen (Arsenal) Empires rose and fell in the time it took the bubble-permed Dane to score his first Arsenal goal. Searing pace, an eye for goal and a fierce shot were just three qualities he didn’t have. 35 Dean Austin (Tottenham) The wafer-thin defender earned the wrath of the notoriously fickle Spurs support early doors, and never won them round. Even now, he featured strongly in a straw poll of Tottenhamites’ least favourite player ever to wear the white. 34 Ramon Vega (Tottenham) The big Swiss was Dean Austin, with (cow) bells on. 33 Alberto Tarantini (Birmingham City) Jim Smith went down the Spurs road and hired himself an Argentinian World Cup winner in the afterglow of 1978, but the Bald Eagle chose this dud left-back. Blues were relegated. 32 Gary Sprake (Leeds) The Kop serenaded the hapless Welshman with “Careless Hands” when he threw another one into the back of his own net, hardly a unique moment for the accident-prone Inspector Clouseau of international goalkeeping. 31 Charlie Nicholas (Arsenal) The much-hyped Champagne Charlie didn’t even amount to Pomagne Charlie at Highbury. 30 Darren Ferguson (Manchester United) Tried to make a name for himself at Old Trafford in the early 90s, but it was already taken. 29 Winston Bogarde (Chelsea) For all the good this expensive, non-playing flop ever did Chelsea, they might as well have signed foppish character actor, Dirk Bogarde. Or maybe they did and tried to cover it up. 28 Iain Dowie (West Ham) Headlines that were never written: “It’s Iain Wow-ie!”, and maybe “Dow ya think I’m sexy.” 27 Eric Djemba-Djemba (Man United, Aston Villa) One Djemba would have been bad enough, but two of them was more than plenty. 26 Frank Sinclair (Leicester City) Whatever the opposite of a purple patch is, Frank ‘Spencer’ Sinclair had one in August 1999. In two matches in August he scored two risible own goals, single-handedly costing his team three points. That month of mishaps alone earns him a place in the annals of infamy. 25 Steve Marlet (Fulham) Mr Fayed didn’t rise to the top in business by not knowing the value of a pound. So mystery remains why he was persuaded to give Lyons eleven and a half mill for the misfit striker. Marlet’s ghost will haunt him to the end of his days. 24 Mark Dennis (Birmingham City) There were rumours in the game that Dennis could actually play, and possessed a decent enough left foot. But the Blues’ anti-footballer was content to amass the game’s blackest rap sheet. 23 Torben Piechnik (Liverpool) Graeme Souness faces the bad transfer tribunal again for the inexplicable purchase of the dithering Dane. English football was no picnic for Piechnik and he slunk back to Denmark in short order. 22 John Fashanu (Wimbledon) Fash elbows his way into the list for a legion of crimes and misdemeanours inflicted on association football in the dubious cause of Wimbledon FC, topped by the assault which shattered Saint Gary Mabbutt’s eye socket. 21 Nikola Jovanovic (Manchester United) Third-worst United centre-half of all time (see nos 5 and 6). 20 Jason Lee (Nottingham Forest) “He’s got a pineapple on his head,” crooned fans all over the land in homage to the dreadlocked striker, who couldn’t hit a ruminant’s posterior with a stringed musical instrument. 19 Marco Boogers (West Ham) He made his mark on English football, but only on Gary Neville’s midriff as a murderous tackle almost wiped out the United right-back. It was all downhill from there, as Mad Marco fled East London for a caravan park somewhere in the Low Countries. 18 Martin Jol (West Brom) The Dutchman was away from school the day they taught the sophisticated tenets of Total Football, and the no-nonsense midfielder went on to spread mayhem across the midfields of England. 17 Nicky Summerbee (Manchester City) The mid-90s City ‘winger’ earns his place on account of his singular running style. Arse stuck out in the fashion of a cartoon Mick Jagger, in Manchester derbies he made the ungainly Phil Neville look like Nijinsky. 16 Chris Kamara (Leeds) For more than two decades Kammy has sported the perma-frizzed coiff of a 60s soul legend, but it failed to distract from a playing style long on effort, short on elegance. 15 Ade Akinbiyi (Leicester City) Big Ade’s combined career transfer value would dwarf the national debt of an especially feckless banana republic, but he couldn’t buy a goal at Filbert Street after signing in 2000. 14 Micky Droy (Chelsea) Nouveau Chelsea fans should know that their swanky club’s DNA contains the traces of lumbering 1970s dinosaurs such as Big Micky. 13 Steve Daley (Manchester City) The poor bloke suffered from one of Man City’s periodic bouts of madness when they insisted on paying Wolves a record £1.45m for him in 1979, back in the days when £1.45m was £1.45m. He never looked close to matching the valuation. 12 Terry Hurlock (Millwall) Graced Cold Blow Lane during The Lions’ unlikely late 80s spell in the top flight, and unleashed a short-lived reign of midfield terror. Hurlock, a one-man disciplinary crime wave, remains, unsurprisingly, a cult hero in Millwall-supporting enclaves of south London. 11 Billy Woof (Middlesbrough) Even three decades down the road Boro fans are still convinced Billy only ever got a game because he was the son-in-law of John Neal, the manager. 10 Vinnie Jones (Wimbledon and more) Told Kenny Dalglish he intended to bite off his ear and spit in the whole. And they said there were no characters left in the game. 9 Ian Ormondroyd (Aston Villa) Nature’s prototype for Peter Crouch lived at the same lofty altitudes as his Villa Park successor, but perhaps lacked his touch and speed – so why did he play on the wing? 8 Andrea Silenzi (Nottingham Forest) The Italian who looked much like a horse turned out to be a load of pony at the City Ground after his multi-billion lira move from Torino in 1995, and pips Justin Fashanu as Forest’s greatest transfer rick ever. 7 Li Wei-Feng (Everton) Arrived as part of the same strange deal which brought the not-too-bad Li Tie to Goodison in 2002. Why? Perhaps he came free, like the prawn crackers we get in our Chinese takeaway when we spend more than a tenner. 6 William Prunier (Man United) The baldy Bordeaux triallist starred in a calamitous 4-1 defeat at Spurs on New Year’s Day 1996, and he was bundled back onto a plane to France the next day. 5 Arnold Sidebottom (Man United) Ryan’s dad also bowled quickly for England, but the centre-half injected no discernible pace to the worst United team since records began. 4 Istvan Kozma (Liverpool) Yet another Souness master signing – the abject Magyar cost £300,000 from Dunfermline in 1992 and played just three games for the Reds before Souey realised he’d made one more transfer goulash. 3 Gus Caesar (Arsenal) “... painfully, obviously, out of his depth ... he looked like a rabbit frozen to the spot ... and then he starts to thrash about, horribly and pitifully...” not our words – those of ultra-loyal Arsenalist, Nick Hornby. 2 Tomas Brolin (Leeds, Crystal Palace) Hard to imagine that Leeds United, normally a model of fiscal probity, paid £4.5m for the Swedish meatball in 1995. A good footballer treats his body like a temple. Brolin’s was a bouncy castle. 1 Ali Dia (Southampton) Was he George Weah’s cousin? Was he hell! Neither had the impostor won 12 caps for Senegal, nor had he played for Paris St Germain. But it took Saints boss Graeme Souness a whole 52 minutes to suss he’d been had in 1996.

8 tonight 10 tomorrow and 12 Saturday. Then off to Turkey Monday woohoo! my bastards are always 12's, but it has its rewards one of which being time off, I'm currently enjoying an 18 day break.

I feel your pain dude, this time next week I'll be starting 3 nightshifts, you doing 8 hours or 12 ?

I think there are a number of truely great strikers around at the moment that are worthy of comparison with those legends mentioned before, although a number of them are advanced in years, but I don't think things are as bad as some make out when it comes to top class strikers. In no order: Luca Toni Klaas Jan Huntelaar David Villa Samuel Eto'o Dimitar Berbatov Francesco Totti Didier Drogba Thierry Henry

According to Talksport, it's being reported that ManUre and Kia Joorabchian have come to an agreement regarding Carlos Tevez rumoured to be in the region of £30m, without a penny going to West Ham, it is unclear if ManUre will be buying Tevez outright despite the fee.

I'd just get rid of him.

There's absolutely no need to feel guilty about that young man. Except when it leads to start having a wank at work Oh David, You really must learn to take control of yourself! Is there not a female at work who can do it for you ?? You'd feel much less guilty if there was If there was she would be doing more than that tbh. Not necessarily. In my experience, you can badger a lass for quite a while to let you fuck her, but without success. However, said lass will usually give in to giving you a hand job as a means to get some peace for a while. Never met a lass yet that gave good 'hand'. Always ends with "Gerroff man, it's not a fucking football pump you know" I think wor lass thought it was a fucking skipping rope at first, she's well trained now though deary me ...... What ? It's true, I was forever saying 'take it easy bitch, thats my fucking dick' Isn't that a risky thing to say to her when she's got your cock in her hand ?