It seems they listened.
July 9, 2007
You're the pundit: 20 players to rival the worst of British
Nick Szczepanik
You, the people, have spoken. And you have been extremely forthright about our list of the 50 worst top-flight performers (or under-performers) of all time. Some of the players we selected were harshly judged, you felt – and we are prepared to hold up our hands in some cases. But many others were not judged harshly enough, as you pointed out with obvious relish.
So today we unveil the freshly-built extension to our Hall Of Shame, housing 20 players who have trooped in, heads bowed, because you demanded their inclusion.
The loudest howls of protest came from Newcastle-upon-Tyne – not about the players that we had included, but those St James’ Park legends we had omitted. Today, we aim to put that right. In fact, we could almost have filled the list entirely with players who have worn the black and white with dishonour.
As for those who may be granted early release from our rogues’ gallery, the largest vote in favour went to Claus Lundekvam, who has proved a steady and capable defender for Southampton since he realized that a reluctance to head the ball under challenge would lead to a very brief career in English football.
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The 50 worst footballers
Others who are strong candidates for rehabilitation are Larry Lloyd (“won 2 European Cups with Forest and a Uefa Cup with Liverpool and played every minute of every Liverpool game in 1973 when they won both the title and the Uefa Cup”), Vinnie Jones (“a ruthlessly effective midfield policeman”), Charlie Nicholas and Marco Materazzi.
Lundekvam was signed by Graeme Souness, who has a reputation among many of you as the manager with the worst record for poor signings for a series of clubs over a sustained period, although Gerard Houllier’s time at Liverpool is regarded less than fondly, it seems. Fortunately, few of us are ever likely to be given a chairman’s chequebook and invited to do better.
Here, though, is our supplementary list of 20 more who should never have made it past the first trial game. And remember, these are the players YOU chose.
20. Jimmy Carter (Arsenal, Liverpool): “Surely there's been a huge oversight here.... Jimmy Carter, surely the worst LFC player ever.” (Arnie, Northampton)
19. Paddy Roche (Manchester United). “If Massimo Taibi is on the list for that one game for Man Utd then surely Paddy Roche has to be on the list for every game he played!” (Steve F, Birstall, W. Yorks)
18. Alan Reeves (Wimbledon): “… the only top-flight defender ever to score two own goals (one a volley from 30 yards) and concede a penalty in the same game.” (James, London)
17. Robert Rosario (Norwich City, Nottingham Forest). “I remember a newspaper article describing Robert Rosario as being as effective as a plank of wood. He was never that good when I saw him.” (Percy, London).,
16. Igor Stepanovs (Arsenal): “If Igor Stepanovs does not make it into the top 3, I hope the 47 previous players all sue The Times for the slander of even daring to suggest that they were worse than him.”
15. Agustin Delgado (Southampton). “Another turkey for Saints. 11 appearances in 3 seasons and no goals! About as useful as a chocolate teapot!” (Tom Chapman, Southampton, UK).
14. Florin Raducioiu (West Ham). “Surely one of Mr. Redknapp’s worst signings.” (Adam, Northants.)
13. Ralph Milne (Manchester United). “Even Stretford Enders have been known to groan when his name was announced” (Grub, Surbiton, Surrey)
12. Corrado Grabbi (Blackburn Rovers). “Can't believe you've let Souness get away with the one and only 'Ciccio' Grabbi. Signed for £6m from some Italian Serie B club, picked up probably £40K per week over 2 or 3 seasons, played no more than 15 games. Woeful not the word !!” (Dave G, Warrington)
11. Juan Sebastain Veron (Manchester United, Chelsea). “How has nobody mentioned Juan Sebastian Veron!?! Cost us a fortune and was complete crap! Then went to Chelsea for a sizeable sum, and was still crap!” (Monty the Man Utd fan, Hemel Hempstead).,
10. Pascal Cygan (Arsenal): “What a relief it's been for us Gooners to see the back of him. A large fridge would have better movement than that joke.” (Danny O'B, Buncrana, Donegal).
9. Fumaca (Newcastle United): “If Fumaca, the only Brazilian ever to be unable to take a first touch, does not get in the top 25, then this list is a sham.” (Steven Ord, Newcastle). “The only Brazilian capable of falling over a ball when trying to trap it.” (Steve K, Newcastle)
8. Djimi Traore (Liverpool, Charlton Athletic, Portsmouth): “Watching him is like waiting for an accident to happen - you want to look away but can’t.” (Steve, London).
7. Paul Okon (Middlesbrough, Watford (loan), Leeds United). “Would have trouble making a Sunday pub side.” (Howard Broadwell, Nottingham, England).
6. Bruno Cheyrou (Liverpool). “Bruno (Zidane) Cheyrou, bought for looking a little bit similar!” (Simon, Macclesfield)
5. Jon Dahl Tommasson (Newcastle United). “His period in Newcastle was AWFUL.... he's is probably capable of filling that whole list alone” (Peter Ley, Aarhus, Danmark).
4. Silvio Maric (Newcastle United): “a waste of a shirt peg. Actually Newcastle could probably put out a first eleven players who would all make this list.” (Bruce, Dublin, Ireland)
3. Marcelino (Newcastle United): “Missed half a season with a broken finger.” (demondegs, Coventry); “he had a better influence on the match when he was in the sick room” (Pabs, Newcastle upon Tyne)
And in joint first place, by overwhelming popular demand:
1=. Titus Bramble and Jean-Alain Boumsong (Newcastle United).
“Oh save my soul. You have got to give praise to Titus Bramble and Jean Alain Boumsong, the best defensive pairing ever in the history of football.” (Kwame Asante, London).
“Titus the Terrible is a shocking omission. I've never seen one player strike fear into his own set of fans so much as Bramble, and then there's his sidekick, Boumsong the boy blunder.” (Danny O'B, Buncrana, Donegal)
“Boumsong …couldn't read the play, couldn't tackle without hacking a man down, couldn't mark, no positional sense....not bad for a defender.” (YMW, London)
“Bramble and Boumsong formed the worst defensive partnership I have ever seen. The funny thing is: why did every Newcastle manager over the last 7 years insist on playing Bramble? They've all been sacked and rightly so.” Alex, Southampton).
