Jimbo

"Where you from footballer ? IPSWICH ! Holy dog shit. Ipswich? Only steers and queers come from Ipswich, and you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks? "

Bram Stoker's Dracula Not seen it in a long while, I'd forgotted how utterly terrible Keanu Reeve's accent is, Winnona Ryder's is not much better, quite rightly Gary Oldman steals the show, but the movie is looking surprisingly dated now imo.

Surely worth highlighting....? Don't know what you mean ! How did you manage THAT?? Time machine.... 1.21 gigawatts?? Aye you need that to power the fluxcapacitor.

Surely worth highlighting....? Don't know what you mean ! How did you manage THAT?? Time machine....

He could well turn out to be a very expensive version of Fernando Morientes

Surely worth highlighting....? Don't know what you mean !

Charley sexing it up

TRANSFER RUMOURS Aston Villa manager Martin O'Neill is planning bids for Chelsea duo Shaun Wright-Phillips and Geremi, West Ham's Nigel Reo-Coker and Craig Bellamy of Liverpool. (Sunday Telegraph) Argentine striker Carlos Tevez is a target for Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea, while current club West Ham want him to stay. (Sunday Express) Tevez's former team-mate Javier Mascherano has not yet signed a full-time deal with Liverpool and could be on his way out of Anfield, with Man City one possible destination. (The People) Newcastle have an eye on former Chelsea striker Eidur Gudjohnson as a replacement for either Obafemi Martins or Michael Owen - if they leave the Magpies. (Sunday Express) Wayne Bridge and Lassana Diarra could join Newcastle target Geremi by leaving Chelsea for St James' Park - if Magpies boss Sam Allardyce gets his way. (Mail on Sunday) England midfielder Frank Lampard could be on the way out of Chelsea after turning down an offer of £121,000 a week, which would have made him the club's highest-paid player. (News of the World) A rift with chief administrators has made it more likely manager Arsene Wenger will leave Arsenal when his current contract expires next year. (Mail on Sunday) Former England boss Sven-Goran Eriksson will sign Italian legend Christian Vieri, who has been released by Atalanta, on a free transfer as soon as the Swede is named Manchester City manager. (News of the World) Striker Nicholas Anelka has told friends he could rejoin Manchester City from Bolton, if Thaksin Shinawatra's takeover bid goes through, and Middlesbrough forward Yakubu could join him at Eastlands. (Mirror) West Ham are set to complete the signing of midfielder Julien Faubert from Bordeux this week for £6m. (News of the World) Arsenal are to table a £20m offer for Barcelona striker Samuel Eto'o this week. (The People) Barcelona 's Brazilian midfielder Thiago Motta has his sights on a Premiership move, eyeing West Ham, Chelsea, Manchester City and Middlesbrough. (Sunday Mirror) Tell us your transfer rumours Back to top AND FINALLY Former England striker Rodney Marsh, who played in the United States in the 1970s, believes long-distance travel, lower-quality play and media surveillance will prevent midfielder David Beckham maintaining his England form while playing for LA Galaxy. (Mail on Sunday)

Advice from the aurthorities on the subject is as follows:

Check your PM's Pud.

Tonight was the 3rd episode, can't say I've been that Impressed tbh.

Its official, we have reached "Panic" status.

I can't belive you've stuck by her. Love her drums Euphamism ?

Leon

Saw this place in Norwich today, managed to get a tree in the way of the name but it was called the "Ah So" which tickled me for some reason

Faith No More - The Real Thing

The Who - Who are you

If you haven't been a smoker then you perhaps don't realise how satisfying it is to sit down with a fag and a pint, it adds to the pub experience. I have been a smoker and yes it was satisfying however I also find it satisfying having a wank but Im sure its not acceptable to drop me kegs and crack one off in the Dog and Duck on a Saturday afternoon. Trust me, its verymuch frowned upon in most circles.

From The Sun, Saturday, Sam Allardyce quoted about the construction of a planning centre for him and his staff at the club's Darsley Park training ground: "The war room we had at Bolton was where we worked out all our strategies and planning. “There would be a staff of 22 in there, comprising coaches, physios, psychologists, masseurs, even the kit man. “Everyone made a contribution and everyone was equal. We could be there three hours sometimes and no one else was allowed in. “We would talk about our players’ strengths and weaknesses, their mental toughness or lack of it, the lot. "We would look at videos, stats and anything relevant. We would also discuss the opposition and examine their players as well. “We would write our objectives for the short and long term on the wall and go back to them at various points of the season to see what we had achieved, where we had gone wrong and what we needed to do. Nothing was left to chance. “Professional football is a huge industry, very important to thousands of people’s lives — particularly in a football-crazy city like Newcastle. “You must not leave any stone unturned if you are going to be successful. “The war room was where we worked it all out and it will be a fundamental part of making Newcastle a team to be reckoned with. “To achieve what I need for Newcastle, we have to do it my way or there’s no point me being here. “I’m used to people laughing and mocking me and then proving them wrong. “At Bolton I was accused of buying mercenaries. But if they had been, they would not have been so committed to the club. “I was criticised for signing old men past their best. Yet those saying that didn’t know what they were talking about. “We signed a World Cup winner in Youri Djorkaeff and he was magnificent for us when no one else was prepared to gamble on him. I brought in Jay-Jay Okocha, Ivan Campo, Kevin Davies and Bruno N’Gotty, all of whom were under 30, and the only one who cost us a fee was N’Gotty at £500,000. “That lot together nowadays would cost you more than £20m and they could all play. “But any manager will tell you the pool of top-class players is getting smaller. Football just is not developing the way it used to. "They used to roll off a production line in Holland. Not any more. Germany is suffering the same as we are in England. “Portugal is the best place for young talent now but we’re all like piranhas trying to get in there. "Africa turns out some phenomenal players, yet they cost a fortune. It means you have to work even harder to get the right players. But I must make Newcastle the place everyone wants to be.”

There's a Jeep Cherokee and 4 asians smoking in Glasgow airport right now, fine them I say !

Sam Allardyce, the Newcastle manager, was re-evaluating his move for Barcelona's injury-prone Brazilian international Edmilson last night after it emerged that the World Cup winner was seeking an £80,000-a-week deal. Allardyce, who has also expressed interest in Barcelona forward Eidur Gudjohnsen, had been ready to gamble on Edmilson, 30, who has a history of injury problems and is likely to be sidelined for up to six months following knee surgery. While Edmilson's wage demands might be compared with Michael Owen's £103,000-a-week contract it would dwarf the deals recently agreed with new recruits Mark Viduka and Joey Barton and could raise eyebrows among the new powers-that-be at Newcastle, where Mike Ashley's £133.8 million takeover is effectively complete. Allardyce has also initiated talks with Barcelona over former Bolton forward Gudjohnsen, 28, which shows that he is drawing up a contingency plan to cope with the loss of strikers Owen or Obafemi Martins should they take advantage of get-out clauses in their contracts. The Newcastle manager, who is to add England coach Steve Round to his staff, returned last night after a two-day trip to Barcelona having spoken to Edmilson. The former Lyon player has a year left on his Nou Camp contract and would cost a nominal fee. Newcastle believe he could play again as early as October. Meanwhile, Newcastle have signed Paris St-Germain defender David Rozenhal, 26, a Czech Republic international, for a fee of £2.9 million.