Jimbo

Just scored his 18th against Reading

Are you sure its not points based on current scores ?

0-1Wigan !

It's very naive to expect loyalty in football in my opinion, I expect Owen to leave, but I do believe he owes us a good season.

FS always backs his managers [/leazes] I would be amazed if that figure is anywhere near the real figure. I guess it includes the £9m for Owen though. Think it included £25m altogether from player sales. No chance of getting £25m for Parker, Emre, Martins and Dyer though. Wouldn't be far off that figure in my opinion: Martins £10m Parker £4m Emre £3m Dyer £3m £20m would be a realistic return.

Probably about half as much that has been through Shepherd Offshore.

TRANSFER RUMOURS Frank Lampard is a £15m target for Barcelona, the Catalonian club having lined the midfielder up as the perfect person to give their team more bite. (Sunday Mirror) Sam Allardyce will sign a £13m deal to manage Newcastle and then, with the ink still drying, make a £5m bid for Manchester City bad boy Joey Barton. (The People) Although Big Sam might be able to save some money, with Barton's value plummeting to £3m. (Sunday Mirror) Allardyce will also look to spend Freddie Shepherd's hard-earned cash on Freddie Ljungberg, although he'll face competition from Portsmouth. (Sunday Mirror) Jermaine Jenas will head back up north in a £10m move to Everton. James Beattie could go the other way in part exchange. (The People) Leeds striker David Healy will escape League One football by teaming up with his former international manager Lawrie Sanchez at Craven Cottage. (News of the World) Although he could go to Middlesbrough. (The People) And Preston forward David Nugent is also keen on a move to the Premiership to safeguard his spot in the England squad. (The Observer) But one player going nowhere is Spurs striker Dimitar Berbatov, chairman Daniel Levy reiterating that he doesn't run a selling club. (The Observer) Micah Richards is 'happyish' at Manchester City, although he admits that he would like to play in the Champions League and would view a switch to Arsenal as a 'dream move'. (News of the World) Carlos Tevez is wanted by most of Europe, with Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Real Madrid and AC Milan among the suitors. (Various) Michael Owen could move to Manchester United for £11m, just two years and 12 starts since joining Newcastle for £16m. (Sunday Express) Tell us your transfer rumours Back to top OTHER GOSSIP Manchester United have turned down a "sensational" £850m takeover bid from a Chinese consortium. (News of the World) Wigan chairman Dave Whelan believes West Ham will be relegated "if there is any justice in the world". (Sunday Mail) But his counterpart at Upton Park, Eggert Magnusson, has urged Sheffield United and Wigan to play fair and not to contrive the Wigan win which could send West Ham down. (Sunday Express) Alan Curbishley will be handed a £45m transfer kitty if the Hammers beat the drop. (News of the World) Stuart Pearce will be axed if and when ex-Thai PM Thaksin Shinawatra completes a £160m takeover. (News of the World) Neil Warnock will make a decision on his future at Sheffield United after the relegation showdown with Wigan. (Various) The right side of the LA Galaxy team line-up could turn into a haircut competition, with full-back Abel Xavier set to line up behind David Beckham. (The Independent) Back to top AND FINALLY Chelsea's senior players have welcomed referee Graham Poll's retirement. One senior player described the announcement as "the best news we've had in years". (Sunday Mirror) With tongue firmly in cheek, Eric Cantona has claimed to be the greatest French footballer of all time. (Sunday Times)

or put your Vista disc in and reboot, and boot from cd and go to the repair console, you might be able to fix things in there.

SAM TO CASH IN EXCLUSIVE By Ray Ryan SAM ALLARDYCE will be given around £40million to rebuild Newcastle yet his first signing is likely to cost nothing. The ex-Bolton chief will be unveiled as Toon boss within the next few days. He has agreed to replace Glenn Roeder and been promised a war chest to launch the Geordies into the top five. Allardyce will get £15m up front and can re-invest cash generated by sales. I understand Toon will listen to offers for Kieron Dyer, Scott Parker, Emre and Oba Martins — and that could generate a further £25m to invest. Rejected Yet Big Sam's first signing is likely to be striker Mark Viduka. The Aussie star is out of contract and has so far rejected a new deal at Middlesbrough, so would cost nothing. Allardyce told Toon chairman Freddy Shepherd at a meeting on Friday in London that he will take the reins. Yet the club refuse to comment publicly until the deal is finally complete. Shepherd is acutely aware his attempts at landing his previous top managerial targets backfired spectacularly at the last minute when he was rejected by both Steve Bruce and Martin O'Neill. But Newcastle are hoping to officially unveil Allardyce as their new manager by Wednesday.

I thought the last one was a bit mad, especially the goings on in the shed.

I went for Howey, purely because he never did the dying swan routine after handballing in the 6 yard box.

When I was a kid my favourites were the Fosters adverts with Paul Hogan, even now the one in the opera house makes me chuckle just thinking about it: "Struth ! there's a bloke down there with no strides on"!

Yup, and there was someone on Skunkers who reported that Sam was lined up to replace Roeder over a month ago. Planning

Are those pictures taken in the same place, can't tell like... Monte Carlo Claridges, London.

He's top of the pops, Jesus Gil probably runs him a close second, sacking a manager because he didn't like the way he looked in the team photograph.

Mystic Alan knows all.

Thanks, I'm always on the look out for new material.

Mummy !

Velvet Revolver - Slither

Testicular torsion? Aye.

Its improved since using your tactic, I'm up there challenging rather an consistantly fighting relegation.

A build up of spunk can be easily checked in the bathroom mirror, if you can see a level of spunk in the eye's its time to knock one out.

Well done Greg, its not pleasant having to show your bollocks to strangers (especially when they are as inferior as mine) but it just goes to show, when things aren't right down there you need to get it sorted. Glad I could help, get well soon dude.

Hughes was comparing him with Shearer yesterday, saying he's now worth £30m, he's been complete steal, a great player.