Jimbo

I think my testicles would explode in excitement if ever I saw Gattuso pulling on a Newcastle shirt, tbh. The stuff of sexual fantasy. Thats never going to happen outside the world of the Playstation. Hence my use of the word "fantasy"... Aye I'd swap him with Parker in a heartbeat

Agreed, the best so far, and how cool is the future Hiro ?

Pulp Fiction Lost Boys Gladiator

I think my testicles would explode in excitement if ever I saw Gattuso pulling on a Newcastle shirt, tbh. The stuff of sexual fantasy. Thats never going to happen outside the world of the Playstation.

The whole Luque situation has just been a total and utter disaster, its best just to get the twat off the wage bill for now.

Martins wants to be the first to score in the new strip. He says: "I like the new kit and I know how important it is to wear the black-and-white shirt. "It suits me and I hope to wear it for a long time." You'd better you fucker, other wise you'll join Hamman on my hit list.

SAM ALLARDYCE is set to become Newcastle boss by May 14 — just hours after the curtain falls on the Premiership season. Big Sam is in line to replace Glenn Roeder but under the terms of his exit from Bolton, he is not allowed to get a new job until the campaign has finished. But as soon as the final whistle blows on Sunday May 13, Toon chairman Freddy Shepherd will swoop for Allardyce and stop Manchester City scuppering his plans. That all spells bad news for Roeder, who is heading towards the St James’ Park exit door after failing to convince Shepherd he is the man to revive Tyneside’s fortunes. Allardyce is seen by Toon officials as the figurehead the club needs to make inroads into the top four. And with bitter rivals Sunderland revitalised under the inspirational Roy Keane, Shepherd is fretting at the prospect of the Black Cats becoming the North East’s biggest club. Shepherd is wary of Roeder blowing all the summer transfer budget and is keen to talk to Allardyce, who jetted off on holiday last night. A Toon source admitted: “Freddy isn’t being very forthcoming about Glenn’s future or any potential transfer budget and admits Sam’s availability has changed things. “Something could be happening very soon.” Newcastle’s lacklustre 1-0 defeat at Reading on Monday did not do Roeder’s cause any favours. And it looks likely that not even a rousing finale in the final two games against Blackburn and Watford can save his skin. Roeder, 51, has endured a shocking run of injuries this season, with £16million Michael Owen and Shola Ameobi only just returning from long-term lay-offs. * But his failure to take a team forward that includes Kieron Dyer, Oba Martins, Scott Parker and Nicky Butt has set alarm bells ringing. Newcastle crashed out of the UEFA Cup’s last 16 against AZ Alkmaar and will probably finish outside the top half of Premiership. Shepherd was close to appointing Allardyce three years ago after Bobby Robson was sacked but failed to land him after he refused to leave Bolton in the lurch.

After a Newcastle United campaign that can most charitably be described as underwhelming, Sam Allardyce’s sudden availability has focused minds at St James’ Park. While Freddy Shepherd, the Newcastle chairman, is understood to have informed Glenn Roeder at a training-ground meeting on Friday that his position was secure until the start of next season, options are being considered carefully. Sources close to the Newcastle boardroom have repeatedly played down suggestions that Allardyce’s unexpected resignation from Bolton Wanderers had immediate ramifications for their club, but those denials have not prevented rumours from pervading Tyneside. At the same time, the team’s lowly status does not assist Roeder’s job security. With Allardyce intent on enjoying a rare break from management with a family holiday and Phil Gartside, the Bolton chairman, insisting that his club will seek compensation should the 52-year-old find new employment – “don’t forget that he has 2½ years left on his contract,” he said – developments are unlikely before the end of the season. Newcastle have two league matches to play, at home to Blackburn Rovers on Saturday and away to Watford on the final day, but time is short for Roeder to persuade the doubters that he is capable of reversing the club’s fortunes. While the Londoner, a former captain of the team, has assumed the necessary long-term outlook at Newcastle, they are twelfth in the Barclays Premiership and results have been poor. The 1-0 defeat away to Reading on Monday evening was their sixteenth of an injury-dis-rupted league season, equalling their biggest tally since their promotion to the top division in 1993. They have amassed 42 points, two fewer than in 2004-05 and 1997-98, their worst previous totals, and their past nine Premiership matches have brought just one victory, six points and three goals. While Allardyce and Roeder share mutual antipathy, they have some similarities. Both have attempted to build clubs on a sound footing, yet Allardyce has a proven record of overachieving at the Reebok Stadium. Even allowing for their medical traumas, Newcastle cannot say the same. Sol Campbell has reemerged as a target for Newcastle, a year after Roeder withdrew from the race to sign the England defender on a free transfer. With a tremendous season at Portsmouth behind him, the 32-year-old proved sound value, and Roeder is prepared to rethink his approach to experienced players. “I would like a central defender this side of 26 and an experienced one over 30 with a big CV and successful playing career,” Roeder said. He is certain to allow Titus Bramble, Craig Moore and Oguchi Onyewu, who has been on loan from Standard Liège, to leave the club, while his leading targets include Curtis Davies, of West Bromwich Albion, Anton Ferdinand, of West Ham United, and Wes Brown, of Manchester United. Roeder has defended naming Kieron Dyer as Newcastle captain at the Madejski Stadium. With Scott Parker, Shay Given and Nicky Butt unavailable, the England midfield player was handed the armband, a decision that prompted consternation from a section of supporters, Dyer’s spell at Newcastle having been peppered with controversy. “I made Kieron Dyer captain for purely motivational reasons,” Roeder said. “When I told him, his eyes lit up and it was a special moment for him. I thought he carried the responsibility of being captain off very well, even though a couple of vital aspects of the game went against him. He is an England player and an experienced player, and he was playing in a position on the pitch on Monday night in which he was in touch with the rest of the team.” Numbers game 6 Number of managers – excluding caretakers, that Newcastle United have had in the past ten years – Kevin Keegan, Kenny Dalglish, Ruud Gullit, Sir Bobby Robson, Graeme Souness and Glenn Roeder 38 Years since the club won a trophy – the Fairs Cup, the predecessor of the Uefa Cup, in 1969 42 Number of points accrued this season. Newcastle need three more to pass their worst tally in the Premiership

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Quite possibly the least convincing comp ever. Showed ALL the build up play and about a zillion replays after each goal, and only about 3 good finishes in there true enough. I quite like the bloke even though he will never be popular A very small number of people like me but that doesn't mean I should play up front for Newcastle United.

We'll get plenty of reminders soon enough.

All worth watching in my opinion.

Gol's seething tbh To be fair there must be a Man United version of that gag tonight for their whole team !

Fuck off, I go back to work Friday night.

Why? talentless but got his chance because he's a lercal lad Shola ?

"Up your bollocks you coont"

He probably decided he was interested in Kuyt when he saw him convert his penalty last night. He wanted Martins all the long you know.

Is that the poster for the new The Hills Have Eyes movie?

Fuck off Roeder, just fuck off.

I hear from sources close to the club that Souness is preparing a bid for Ipswich Town.

Trouble is it doesn't just end with skidsheet, my underwear takes one hell of a battering these days too, its getting to the point where I almost need a fresh pair of pants every day. NIp half a beer mat between your cheeks before pulling up Beer mat ? I could probably use a front door mat these days.

Trouble is it doesn't just end with skidsheet, my underwear takes one hell of a battering these days too, its getting to the point where I almost need a fresh pair of pants every day.