Jimbo

Keep me out of it ok ! 161338[/snapback] couldn't have been a more "Mitchel Brothers" thing to say tbh all it needed was a "Pat" or "Pauline" at the end 161342[/snapback] Careful or I'll get Wellard to hump your leg.

The world of fantasy ?

A part from being able to spell the word correctly 161325[/snapback] Apart tbh 161340[/snapback]

Keep me out of it ok !

Nice edit

A part from being able to spell the word correctly

Jellyfish - The man I used to be.

I noticed her, another star for the wank-bank

West Ham United boss Alan Pardew has rejected reports linking Dean Ashton with a move away from Upton Park. Reports have suggested that Newcastle United are lining up a move for Ashton, as they look to find a replacement for Alan Shearer. Ashton only joined The Hammers from Norwich City in January and he impressed during his first six months at the club. Pardew has moved to reject the rumours regarding Ashton and insists the player is going nowhere. "There is no truth in it whatsoever," Pardew told the London Evening Standard. "Dean has settled in well at the club and has just bought a house. I can guarantee he will be going nowhere." Meanwhile, West Ham have been given permission to take Ghana defender John Painstil on their tour of Sweden. The Hammers are leading the chase to sign the full back after he impressed during Ghana's successful World Cup campaign. Hapoel Tel Aviv have allowed Painstil to link up with West Ham before they head out to Sweden for their three-match tour on Wednesday. Painstil will train with West Ham in Sweden so that Pardew can cast an eye over him before deciding whether or not to pursue his interest in the defender.

OK, got some evidence ? 161251[/snapback] Yes - when Newcastle are done for dodgy transfer dealings by the FA. 161252[/snapback] Ok Crimson, so thats a no then is it ?

OK, got some evidence ?

No. 161241[/snapback] You may wish to revise your answer, as you can see, although frowned upon, its common practice: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/5175870.stm League hails cut in agents' fees Agents fees have been cut Football League chairman Lord Mawhinney has praised the reduction that clubs have made in payments to agents. In total, £7.66m was handed to players' representatives last season, a fall of £160,000 on the previous 12 months, according to a Football League report. Lord Mawhinney said: "It is encouraging that clubs spent £160,000 less on payments to agents than was the case last year. "I hope the regular, half-yearly publication of these fees has helped." Lord Mawhinney expressed his concerns in July 2005 that too much transfer cash was being siphoned off by agents in transfer dealings. But since then the League has moved to tighten up the way payments are made in an effort to bring more transparency to the game. The League already obliges its member clubs in the Championship and League One and Two to produce a list every six months of payments to agents. And they hope two other changes will lead to an even greater reduction in agents' fees. Firstly, there will be no "dual representation" - an agent will have to represent either the club or the player. I applaud clubs for their willingness to enter into this debate and for making changes that will deliver greater levels of transparency and integrity to transfer negotiations. Football League chairman Lord Mawhinney Secondly, agents will no longer be able to pass on to clubs the costs of representing a player. Lord Mawhinney added: "I applaud clubs for their willingness to enter into this debate and for making changes that will deliver greater levels of transparency and integrity to transfer negotiations. "Publication certainly has been a catalyst for a wider debate about the role of agents in football. "In turn, this has paved the way for the League to introduce new regulations governing how agents' operate." Leeds were the Football League's biggest spenders with an outlay of £604,800, closely followed by Southampton with £575,000. Oxford, who were relegated from the Football League in May, spent more on fees than any other club in League Two, paying £15,800.

Don't all agents take a fee from transfers ??

Fuck sake, pass me the Prozac !

Roads melt as temperatures soar Roads have been melting in parts of England as the heatwave across most of the country continues. Gritting lorries have been sent out to spread crushed rock dust on melting tar to create non-stick road surfaces. Monday was the year's hottest day so far with a reading of 32.7C (90.9F) at Heathrow. Forecasters say temperatures could be 37C (99F) later in the week. The average maximum temperature in England for this week in July is only 21-23C (70-73F). Heatwave conditions Forecasters expect the South East to experience the highest temperatures again on Tuesday but there has been record-breaking heat elsewhere in the country. HOTTER THAN NORMAL Predicted highest temperature and average for this week South East 37C - 23C East Anglia 37C - 22C Midlands 36C - 22C South West 36C - 21C North West 35C - 20C North East 33C - 21C Source: Met Office BBC forecasters in Yorkshire said the county reached its highest July temperature ever with 32C (90F) at Linton-on-Ouse, while forecasters in the West of England said the region could have its hottest July day for more than 100 years on Wednesday. Much of England has reached official heatwave conditions, according to the Met Office, with London, the South East, the South West, the East Midlands and the West Midlands all experiencing a heatwave. Even the region least affected by hot temperatures so far - the North East - has an 80% chance of reaching heatwave conditions by Friday. The Met Office recommended people stay hydrated in the heatwave conditions and Transport for London repeated its advice to passengers to carry water with them on the Underground. Solar powered boat on the Serpentine in London's Hyde Park A solar-powered boat has been launched in London's Hyde Park Precautionary speed restrictions were in place on outdoor stretches of track on the District, Piccadilly, Metropolitan, Jubilee and Northern lines. A trial at Preston Crown Court was halted for the day on Tuesday when jurors said it was too hot to concentrate - the judge had already allowed barristers to remove their wigs. Council gritters - usually associated with treating icy roads in winter - have been sent out or put on standby in Durham, Staffordshire, Lincolnshire, Cornwall and Cumbria. Children at a junior school in York are to be sent home early because of the hot weather. 'Wilting at desks' The head teacher at Scarcroft School - where temperatures have reached 32C (90F) in some classrooms - has told parents it will close at lunchtime on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Heat caused railway lines to buckle in the Midlands, while glass panels fell at a Newcastle bus station. The TUC has called for workers to be allowed to dress more casually as a way of avoiding "staff wilting at their desks". Hot golf fan at Hoylake Fans at the Open golf practice days have had heat to contend with Organisers of the Open golf tournament, which starts at the Royal Liverpool course in Hoylake on Thursday, fear the weather could affect playing conditions, with greens needing to be watered if they get too dry. On Monday temperatures in the South of England topped those in Spanish resorts, higher than in Ibiza, where it was 31C (88F) and the Canary Islands - 27C (81F). The BBC Weather Centre said it expected London temperatures to reach 37C (99F) on Wednesday, breaking the July record of 36C (97F), seen in Epsom, Surrey, in 1911. BBC weather forecaster, Tomasz Schafernaker, added there was a "10% chance" the UK's all-time record of 38.5C (101F), recorded in Kent in August 2003, could even be beaten. "On Tuesday and Wednesday, temperatures in the Midlands will rise to around 34C and 35C so already there will be some local records broken for July," he said. He said temperatures would ease off to around 30C in the Midlands and South East on Thursday and Friday.

The 50-year-old has spent much of the summer searching for the men he needs to strengthen his squad, and in particular, a replacement for retired skipper Alan Shearer. Michael Owen's injury disaster has made the recruitment of a top-class frontman - and possibly two - all the more important, although to date, progress has been slow. The Magpies have been linked with a lengthy list of potential targets, particularly in attack. Ruud van Nistelrooy seems certain to secure a future elsewhere, while Roeder's interest in both Dirk Kuyt and Jermain Defoe has cooled, and he has been warned off Darren Bent. Reports have also linked Newcastle with a big money bid for West Ham's Dean Ashton, although it is understood the 22-year-old's name is not on the manager's shopping list. Damien Duff's proposed move to Tottenham from Chelsea may also remove Shaun Wright-Phillips from the Magpies' sights with Jose Mourinho unlikely to dispense with two wingers, even if the Tyneside club's approach may have been for an initial loan deal. Roeder freely accepts that qualification for Europe - his side heads for Lillestrom on Wednesday needing to return with a victory or a high scoring draw to clinch a place in the UEFA Cup - could have a bearing on the signings he is able to make. However, he is remaining patient as chairman Freddy Shepherd considers his wish-list. Roeder said: "Because I'm experienced, I know how the system works. "You just can't pick up the phone anymore and find out if the player you want is available and the deal is done in 24 hours. "That was the old way - and maybe that was the easier way for managers - but we know with all the other factors involved, it doesn't happen like that anymore. "I'm not getting frustrated, but I understand that from now on, every day that goes by, our supporters are looking for new faces coming in the door. "That's only natural, that's the same at every club all around the country." Roeder will hope Shola Ameobi is fit enough to start on Saturday after being used as a substitute in the first leg, with £9.5million Albert Luque, who scored his side's equaliser, likely to partner him. That could mean a seat on the bench for 20-year-old James Milner, who is banking on his versatility to help win him a regular place after his return from a loan spell Aston Villa. Milner said: "I think my versatility is a strength. Look at all the best players in the world - they can use both feet. "I've always worked hard on both feet because it helps you. I don't mind playing on the left. "This is a massive club, and you need competition for places. "That's all I can ask for - a fair crack of the whip. If you are not playing well, you don't deserve to be in the team. "It's down to me to play well in training and make sure the manager can't leave me out, and then do it on the pitch." Meanwhile, the Magpies will head for Norway possibly boosted by the addition of Australia international Craig Moore following his return to training. Moore, 30, was back at the club's Darsley Park training headquarters on Monday after being given extra time off on his return from the World Cup finals.

I'll make my prediction of the winner based on Gemmill's first post.

That rule doesn't mean anything. 161030[/snapback] It does, it means you can't move clubs in your first year of contract. Not sure if it counts in Ashton's case as his transfer wasn't between premiership clubs.

I'm not convinced he's worth £10m, but for West Ham, who no doubt would rather keep him, are obviously going to want a fee on the north side of the £6m they paid Norwich for him.

Most of the papers today are claiming that Kuyt will sign for Liverpool today.

The only flaw in the game is that there are only about 30 alternatives to select from !

.......if you play it long enough you get to know the answers, but don't tell anyone.

I guess community service has its benefits after all !

if it gets any warmer I'll spontaneously combust !

If he's past it he's past it. A player who is past it will never be able to rekindle their earlier playing days. As for the bargain basement; take a look at Jason Roberts to Blackburn for £2.5m. A fine bit of business by Mark Hughes - definitely not in the same class as Bellamy, but a half decent striker nonetheless. 160847[/snapback] True enough, lets hope Roeder has a few tricks up his sleeve.