Meenzer

He'll still have to take it with him to the library tbh.

Birmingham's a grand place to study for a few years as everything's pretty compact and the place is big enough to have every kind of shop, eatery etc. you'd want, but it's ugly as fuck, there's no denying that.

I bain't lettin' you near moi arrrsle!

Indeed! He's flying with Swiss via Zurich rather than BA, which improves his chances, but we'll see. If it's a comfortable-hotel-in-Switzerland Christmas and New Year, well, that could be worse.

Followed by "My Sharona" and the Smiths' "Panic". There's some fucked-up playlisters on duty at this hour. That's possibly the best three songs I've ever heard of on the radio tbh. It's all Janice Long's doing, giving her the overnight slot is clearly a work of genius. She was trying to arrange a time when all her listeners could have a simultaneous orgasm, too.

You still around fella? Very happy birthday to you!

Just woke up. Full day's work ahead though, including the magical customer who sets a deadline of one hour on a piece then calls up every five minutes to ask if it's finished yet. Fella's meant to be flying to Heathrow from Serbia tonight. Good luck to him...

Followed by "My Sharona" and the Smiths' "Panic". There's some fucked-up playlisters on duty at this hour.

The Decemberists... on Radio 2.

Jarvis Cocker on the year that was. http://www.timeout.com/london/music/features/2385.html Not a bad read.

I could use a bit of that. Still not feeling the Christmas love at all.

Mind, I love those adverts that rattle on about the health benefits of tea and how drinking it makes you a happy, well-rounded and flavonoid-packed individual. Then the small print mentions that you have to drink at least four mugs a day for it to have any kind of effect.

You're probably not wrong. Still not doing it mind.

Unfortunately it was merely the company and not the car itself. He wants some Porsche prototype for his collection. They want to lick his arse.

I have to admit this is a thoroughly rare case of the Germans getting it right. Hell, when I visited my company's office in Offenbach the other week they were busy testing out their third coffee machine in as many weeks to see which one was best. Proper café-style bean-cruncher and all. Mine's a gnarly little Bosch number. Dude! Way!

I just translated a letter from Porsche to Jerry Seinfeld.

I have to admit this is a thoroughly rare case of the Germans getting it right. Hell, when I visited my company's office in Offenbach the other week they were busy testing out their third coffee machine in as many weeks to see which one was best. Proper café-style bean-cruncher and all. Mine's a gnarly little Bosch number.

You can always use instant Kahlua if you can't be bothered to mix yourself a proper cocktail.

Can't bring myself to watch it, but I'm sure my mate Eddie will be creaming himself in anticipation. This is just one wall of his living room: Boys.

At least with microwave meals you can, I don't know, add seasoning or something to try and make them taste at least vaguely like what they're meant to resemble. Bloody coffee snob and proud of it.

Why would you?

That's proper rubbish, that. Hope you move onwards and upwards (though young Brock's eggnog/urination plan sounds like a fine intermediate measure).

Well take it out again, you don't know where it's been.

If it was karma you would be dead tbh What's he done to deserve that?! Ridiculed J69 on an internet message board, obviously. And made him cry by the looks of it. If there was karma you'd be getting the 72 virgins treatment for that alone, to be honest