Meenzer

misunderstood DotBum's blatant come-on

smells of wee

OK, perhaps this "Photoshoped" non sequitur lark is getting a spot tedious now...

Photoshoped

prefers violaceous euphonia

has been poking around my jewellery cabinet

Poppers are rank, can't say I'm fond of their preponderance in the Ghey Scene either. Some people swear by them for the rush but I just reckon they’re shagging the wrong people and need to distract themselves from the shame of it all.

is, it transpires, the reason my ears were burning just before.

Shut it, Craig.

General Hospital. Nee-naw!

Did somebody mention Swindy? New Cross Gate.

Mind, I wasn't going to join the AA, but that £10 Marks & Spencer voucher has just swung it.

Neil Diamond - 12 Songs Surprisingly lurvely.

I have very little to get agitated about at work today, so I'm having to find external sources of frustration

Fucking "cute" cat food adverts. "Serengeti" and "slinky" don't even rhyme, and you've only given the cat the highly improbable name of "Trinity" so it'll rhyme with "vicinity". Fuckers.

Beatles - Komm gib mir deine Hand

ought to be aware that, at London prices, Wetherspoons is about all I can ever stretch to In all seriousness though, whenever I've been eating out in central London it's always been with a big group, and GroupThink tends to equal Generic Chain Restaurant - ergo numerous visits to Caffe Uno, Pizza Express or Strada, and not much in the way of actual local fare. Whereabouts are you staying? (I'm not saying that'll help, but...)

Today I will be translating a piece about a legal dispute over the delivery of herrings. This must be a Monday.

should know I charge extra for special requests

had better pop in to the Meenzer love shack and say hello

Off to the athletics at Crystal Palace tonight, then a Thames boat ride tomorrow. Dodge the toxic fumes!

If I wasn't scared before...

Paula Abdul - Opposites Attract Fucking classic.

Do I get extra brownie points for admitting up front that I'm shit-scared?

I'll be happy to sponsor people, but that's all. Total coward, me.