Meenzer

The original Bible had a first page that read "Any similarity to actual events or persons is purely coincidental" 134462[/snapback] Any similarity to a joke from series 2 of Red Dwarf is purely coincidental. 134463[/snapback] and wasn't it dedicated to: My darling Candy.... 134768[/snapback] That's it.

Bet you love it in the bullseye! 134465[/snapback] Not with anything that sharp

The original Bible had a first page that read "Any similarity to actual events or persons is purely coincidental" 134462[/snapback] Any similarity to a joke from series 2 of Red Dwarf is purely coincidental.

Not convinced, to be honest. It's all a bit knowing and ironic (and the contestants are shite at darts!).

Gemmill = pwned by a 12-year-old

is sadly better at Set Games than I.

FA Cup 13/5 Eurovision 20/5

Aye, why didn't they think of trotting out this kind of excuse when they drew against Sunderland?

I'm rubbish at this

Get trout, the lot of you!

Feel sorry for Ronaldo's loss, of course, but it all sounds a bit Little Britain. "Tea! Ivor used to drink tea!!!"

11 Mainz 33 -1 37 ---------------------- 17 Köln 33 -24 27

Theoretically I've been dieting for this exercise-I'm not carrying any extra timber, in fact I'm like a racing snake. I'm even wearing a tight vest top, which you'd like. I'm keeping it interesting for the non-science types and the gays tbh. 133427[/snapback]

Wouldn't you be too heavy to move?

Or just take some vinho verde if you can't be arsed to do food.

Bacalhau, that's the bugger. Dried salted codfish. Yum.

They do this fantastic garlic dip with home-baked bread at the Portuguese restaurant I used to go to in Hamburg, but I've no idea if it's authentic or what the recipe is, so that's a bit useless to you. Any kind of fish, I suppose, unless that counts as seafood. There's a particular kind of cod-like fish that's utterly minging but that seems to be their national fodder. Eurovision's not till next weekend mind, or are they doing a preview night?

They'd probably find a neat way of claiming that "opposite directions" don't actually exist.

No, but it's how they make the fetching snakeskin cockring etc.

Do they end up kissing one another? 133326[/snapback] I think they'll form a stylish cock ring, at least until they start digesting one another when blood flow will cease to be stemmed. 133327[/snapback] Market it for £50 a pop and alert the fashionistas at Attitude magazine, they'll do a double-page spread on it and you're quids in. As business plans go, surely it's a winner.

Particularly since he's not exactly going to "score that goal" any time soon.

has some bloody hungry inner demons

The commentator on MOTD last night - I don't bother noticing their names any more - was typically hilarious/awful. For Arsenal's second goal (I think), he obviously assumed a Kleenex moment was imminent, as his voice reached Orgasmic Wonder-Goal Frequency almost as soon as Henry got hold of the ball - only for him to piss about for ages before actually putting it into the back of the net. Poor bloke had to go higher and higher, more and more strained... he must have been surrounded by every dog in the neighbourhood by the time he was finished. BBC objectivity, eh?

It's been replaced by the seriously grey raincloud smiley.