Meenzer

Rotterdam. To be fair, I imagine it'll become an "everyone stays home and performs their song in a TV studio in their own country" type affair unless things get better any time soon. Bad news for the flag and glitter retailers of the Low Countries.

Eurovision hasn't been cancelled yet. All is fine.

On the plus side, No Deal is going to seem like an absolute doddle after this.

There is that. Small consolations.

All right then, definitely going to parkrun tomorrow morning if it might be the last one for several months.

Hard to know quite where to start with that one.

Elite football and Scottish football both suspended.

Looks like a contagion chain to me.

With schools I assume they're trying to wait to as near the Easter holidays as possible so it's not quite as disruptive, since they'd have been off around then anyway. (Though even as a non-parent, I realise the idea of your kids being at home and it not being in some way disruptive is absurd. )

Adult life and the modern age in a nutshell.

Dangerous times. When people realise they don't have to commute to be productive and the magical cloud being doesn't seem to care whether they're in the big stone building every Sunday or not...

Now that they've secured the votes of vibrant young northerners like CT...

Lucílio Cardoso Cortez Batista

SPOILERS FFS

Good.

And more competent

Never mind that, what does Zambia want with Jacob Rees-Mogg?

Never was a name more suited to being said in a Brummie accent

"WHO'S YOUR MESSIAH NOW? PEAKY BLINDERS OR SAVO MILOSEVIC"

The HIGNFY account is trying way too hard to compensate for its role in Johnson being our PM.

That could barely be more appropriate for Bruce and Newcastle this season!

That's no way to talk about the best PM in Christmas Tree's third lunchtime.