Meenzer

Just had a chat with the lass from Cascada. She's common as muck, but in a good way. And now the press centre folks have given us free Swedish biscuits. CT would be in hog heaven.

Makes sense to me. Most people don't actually care all that much about Yoorop in the wider scheme of things, and it's an easy way for him to establish a distinct policy position on something (for once) without actually having to do anything.

When pyros go wrong

Aye. Well, as long as you're willing to pay for accommodation for two weeks and tolerate Swedish beer prices when you're not being fed it for nowt anyway.

Not even that really - they tend to let a lot of fan websites etc. masquerade as "press" at Eurovision events, mainly because none of the real press takes it seriously (obviously) and they want some kind of online coverage. We blog, we do videos, we overanalyse things to the nth degree, we drink litres of free Belarusian vodka at dodgy embassy parties, we fall over. It's fun.

Sez you who's singing for Croatia!

1. I'll get to that, don't worry - even I can spot the good 'uns. 2. She's been in the country for approximately 24 hours. This is her meeting the Finnish singer. So: yes. Accredited press, don'tcha know! (Blogging for a couple of websites, basically. Good excuse for a two-week pissup.)

Ah sure you'll be wanting to turn away from MOTD for these beauties:

OK, so I've been posting various ridiculous rehearsal photos in the General Random Conversation thread already, but the thing's next week and people keep coming up with increasingly ridiculous stagings - this time it's Montenegro's turn: ...so I figured I might as well start the yearly tradition now. The press centre, which we've moved into today after four days in a converted cinema (don't ask), is sizeable: And we have illuminated trees! Belta European Minge update to follow.

The Ukrainian giant has his stage outfit sorted now.

Bean poker. (Wait, same thing.)

Still none the wiser to be honest... based on today's batch, Georgia should do very well but I don't think it's a winner, could be a decent each-way though. Romania, however, will not be in contention:

Ukraine are planning an understated performance.

https://www.facebook.com/manchesterunited?v=app_119829254859378

Absolutely fucked. Free bar at the Irish delegation party yesterday afternoon and I still haven't recovered. I'm getting too old for this shit.

Thing is, with some crimes that makes sense - higher theft/burglary rates due to poverty, for example - but sexual deviancy, psychoses involving detachment from social norms and so on are (at least as far as I know) distributed fairly normally throughout the population. If anything, you could argue that when it comes to complex and expensive plans like this (soundproofed torture rooms ffs), it's the people who can afford it you should be watching out for!

It's CT man.

Found his scran truck on the mean streets of Malmö!

I'm sitting in the Eurovision press centre blogging about rehearsals.

Safely arrived in Malmö. Goooorgeous sunshine, and we even thought to stock up on wine in Denmark.

I can't stress enough how important this is.

I've already negotiated a get-out-of-going-to-see-a-stripper card for my mate's stag in Hamburg this summer. Starting to think I should have added a no-Jägerbombs-until-lunchtime clause.

He's typing like that because OH GOD NO :(