Meenzer

Hey, there aren't many other benefits to living on this side of town.

Halfway down the first page. Is that a new record?

His name's an anagram of "Laundry Gnome". What's not to like?

They already do, more or less - ever flown into/out of London City? There's something distinctly unnerving about the experience.

I'm genuinely amazed Little Chef still exists, to be honest.

Aye - did they forget to tell you like? It's called 'news' - paper, TV, radio, internet - that sort of thing. Sort of thing you'll notice more if you have kids I suppose. Fucking hell Martin, did I piss in your path or something? I just thought it was a wee bit excessive, Craigford, that's all.

Aye - did they forget to tell you like? It's called 'news' - paper, TV, radio, internet - that sort of thing. Sort of thing you'll notice more if you have kids I suppose.

Even in the depths of despair, True Faith manage to slip in a few song lyric references. Sterling work.

She's legit btw, it's just been fun watching the fallout from up on my perch.

It's the love for football in general that's struggling to survive here.

There's a forced software download you can do by turning it off then holding down the "back up" button (on the box, not the remote) for a while when you turn it back on, but that's for a regular old Sky box, don't know how it works for Sky+ or whatever. That sometimes works, anyway.

I think the standard Sky guarantee is a year, or at least it was when we got it a few years back. (Naturally, the LNB gave out approximately 15 months later...) Give them a call.

Have you watched a Newcastle away match on telly before?

Beckham is totally the "Brad Pitt" answer. Legitimate, but lazy.

(Also, they're a band.)

Strapping Young Lad rock my hairy anus.

I see the Israelis have shelled the UN relief agency's HQ in Gaza. "Whoops".

There's tons of made-up names on there too.

Cheers for that impeccable logic, Beeb. Anyway:

Turn to him every time he makes a Geremi-related quip, look him dead in the eye and say "Oh do stop it, you're giving me wood". Should do the trick.

They were awesome. "How many times can you bounce up and down on Satan's big old trampoline?/I do not know but I'll let you have a go on Satan's big old trampoline". Pure poetry.

Son of Fop wept. Fop responsible for virgin birth

It's funny actually, I never thought I'd subscribe to this view, but now that the Premier League has become such a closed shop and we're obviously not going to get back among the big boys for several years (if ever), I'm starting to come around to the idea...