Ausman

I would love us to bring a couple of good technical coaches to help out. Most of all I want to see a fitness coach, some one who knows how to structure a fitness regime that will help alleviate injury problems, especially the hamstring ones we always seem to get.

Same here I would rather we went for Aubemyang.

Now let's beat Benfica on Thursday, then absolutely smash the mackems to pieces.

Just watched a delayed telecast of the game. Have to say the last ten minutes, my gut was doing somersaults but when Papiss put the that incredible goal I shouted so loud I got complaints from the neighbours.

Love collecting matchboxes have a huge collection from all over the world. So if anybody wants to send me some I would be grateful.

Have to say this going to be one tough game, Jol has got the better of Pardew every time, I think. If we can beat I will be feeling a very relieved man.

Couldn't believe how easy they were scoring, it was like Levante were the spectators.

Real Madrid are having field day agaisnt Levante. 5-1 at the moment.

Carroll would be the last person I want to see at Newcastle, hoof ball all over again. No thanks!

That was a woeful second half from us. Why oh why do we not just attack, no we sit back and try and defend. Terrible tactics from Pardew.

Keeping the ball seems to be a problem with in most games.

I want us to come out in the second firing like we did in the first fifteen.

Krul has been keeping us in the game, so far.

So when you make another one, make sure I get an invite. That sounds absolutely mouth watering.

Goodness that film was sad, heart breaking really. In a way I wish they would invade North Korea but I fear Russia and China will be dragged into it.

So what's the difference between a Neapolitan Ragu and a Ragu from Bologna?

We certainly need a good fitness coach. Half the team look knackered, half way through the second half.

I thought we did well in the first forty minutes, that seem to be our game plan stifle them and hopefully grab a goal on the break . That was never really going to work with defence we had, I wished we had attacked from the start. Don't think Pardew had much choice with his selections today. Let's hope we get at least an away goal against Benfica.

Bloody Americains, some of the shit they come out with.

Tough game this. Still think we could nick this one. Isn't Haidara out also?

Let's hope they dont repeat the same mistakes as last season. Definitely a new forward and I would like two centre backs brought in, one to replace Colo and the other to replace Williamson.

Trouble is if he doesn't get service from the midfield, he'll be just another frustrated forward. Just like Cisse.

Goodness you love your carbs don't you? Lasagne and Jacket potatoes.

That was an excellent game. Not the usual boring friendlys.

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'msmarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!' Ms.. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and heagreed to take the test. Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?' Harry: '9.' Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?' Harry: '36.' And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rdgrade' Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..' The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms.. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?' Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..' Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?' The principal wondered why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: 'Pockets.' Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?' Harry: 'Pants.' The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?' The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.' Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and adog does on three legs?' Harry: 'Shake hands.' The principal was trembling. Ms.. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat andexcitement?' Harry: 'Firetruck.' The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...'