catmag

Not unless there's a herpes virus in your aftershave JINX! Beat you by 4 minutes

Not unless there's a herpes virus in your aftershave

I like radio 2 from time to time. My mother always had Terry Wogan on in a morning when I lived at home and I like listening to Dermot O'leary and Jonathan Ross. Steve Wright in the afternoon is canny aswell. Can't get away with Sarah Whatserface first thing in a morning like. She sounds like she's permanently drunk.

Sprite and Fanta ming

Completely off-topic, but my dad still calls the cashpoint the Speedbank And he wouldn't know where to start with a mobile phone...

Were they in your way to get the last pie I can't remember whether I even went in the shop. The car park was utter bedlam and once you were in there, it was over an hour's wait just to get out of the car park. It's making me angry now just writing about it , but I was honestly ready to get out of my car and just indiscriminately kill people. That was funny It fucking wasn't! You on the phone trying to calm me down as the red mist descended. I think you phoned me about 5 times in that hour to rant. The more wound up you got the more I wanted to giggle but knew I'd get fucking battered

Were they in your way to get the last pie I can't remember whether I even went in the shop. The car park was utter bedlam and once you were in there, it was over an hour's wait just to get out of the car park. It's making me angry now just writing about it , but I was honestly ready to get out of my car and just indiscriminately kill people. That was funny

I've bought 3 things which is a complete novelty this early on. Still got the majoirty of it to do though. Martin, can I come to the Christmas markets with you?

There's a few of his more recent scary adventures in the archives on www.metroradio.co.uk. I think it's under The Robson Files. Some of them are canny.

Oh, you left one of your man bra's at mine. I'll look after it til you get back up next.

Aye, I heard that bit. I'll probably listen to the bits I missed at some point. I think the girls listened to bits of it and said he fled out of the place a couple of times and then it finished quite abruptly at about 1.40am - dunno why though

What did your last slave die of?

Successful jumper last night. Deaded.

Couldn't tell you. 2 emergency caesarians put paid to the party. The girls carried on without me at 11.45pm and I got back to the department at quarter to 7 this morning.

Well we're having great fun

Only if he asked nicely

I've been to Salzburg and loved it, so Vienna is definitely on the 'to-do' list.

Happy birthday for yesterday

I've only just found out they were at work, you retard. Oi! NO NEED! And besides, I'm not the one that left their keys at work and now has piles from sitting on a doorstep, MONGO. Shut up! I have not got piles. I'm having a cup of tea and I'm going to bed I'm on my way Marvellous. You can help me put the bastard shopping away.

It's even funnier now I can picture the front of your house with you sat there. Sad-sack expression on her face. With the two cats sat at the window giving her the Vs. Nope, just Florence. Stood there staring at me with a "What the fuck are you DOING?! I need BREAKFAST and you're just sat there!!" look on her face. You all deserve to have a thoroughly awful day. Hey! Divvent lump me in with that bunch or meffs! Everyone on here deserves a miserable day. Did someone spit on your cornflakes this morning?

I've only just found out they were at work, you retard. Oi! NO NEED! And besides, I'm not the one that left their keys at work and now has piles from sitting on a doorstep, MONGO. Shut up! I have not got piles. I'm having a cup of tea and I'm going to bed

I've only just found out they were at work, you retard.

It's even funnier now I can picture the front of your house with you sat there. Sad-sack expression on her face. With the two cats sat at the window giving her the Vs. Nope, just Florence. Stood there staring at me with a "What the fuck are you DOING?! I need BREAKFAST and you're just sat there!!" look on her face.

My keys are apparently hanging from the padlock on my locker in the changing room at work And I deserve your taxes for putting up with you bunch of bastids on a daily basis. And Sammy - ferk off!! It's blowing a fucking gale here at the moment. Several people walked past and were obviously to polite to anything other than stare

Too young for you, snakey, and anyway, she's already joined the Gemmill fan club. I'm going to make her a badge and send her his picture any day now....