Jusoda Kid

now thats what I'm talking about

The Tyne Bar is the best bar in the East End other than the Stags Head. Cluny's alright occasionally.

Apparently this is the reason they play in red & white, straight from the horses mouth on SMB: And Sunderland didn't even come up with their shirts themselves: they were a gift from fellow northeasterners South Bank FC. The Mackems had run into financial strife - reputedly even raffling off a canary to keep things ticking over - and called their neighbours for help. South Bank responded by sending their kit - red and white striped shirts and black shorts. Sunderland expressed their gratitude by thrashing them 7-0 in the 1887-88 season. Sound familiar

A good friend of mine used to go around to this daft kids house for a smoke and a drink on a regular occasion. Anyway they would always send the daft kid to the shop for the drink, him being daft and all. Evertime he was out getting the cans my mate would get up and have a piss just in front of his precious Hi-Fi then sit back in his seat as if he hadn't moved. The lad with the cans would return, take his shoes off and settle himself down with his can, just as he done this my mate would at some point always ask him to change the tape/cd on his precious Hi-Fi which he would always do as he didn't want anyone else touching it, law and behold he always stood in the piss in his sock clad feet, the daft kid would then go ballistic with his mongrel dog whilst everyone sat there laughing their tits off. This went on for well over 6 months with the poor dog getting the shitty end of the stick all the time, not fair on the dog but fucking funny 59740[/snapback] Basically your friend is a complete bastard then! Talking of toilets, I've got confused in Mood on more than one occassion after a few. 59778[/snapback] That will explain the 3 stretch he's currently doing then.

A good friend of mine used to go around to this daft kids house for a smoke and a drink on a regular occasion. Anyway they would always send the daft kid to the shop for the drink, him being daft and all. Evertime he was out getting the cans my mate would get up and have a piss just in front of his precious Hi-Fi then sit back in his seat as if he hadn't moved. The lad with the cans would return, take his shoes off and settle himself down with his can, just as he done this my mate would at some point always ask him to change the tape/cd on his precious Hi-Fi which he would always do as he didn't want anyone else touching it, law and behold he always stood in the piss in his sock clad feet, the daft kid would then go ballistic with his mongrel dog whilst everyone sat there laughing their tits off. This went on for well over 6 months with the poor dog getting the shitty end of the stick all the time, not fair on the dog but fucking funny

To: toptips@viz.co.uk From: Wackyjnr Dog owners, leave dog shits deposited in your yard over the summer until winter, making them far easier to pick up once frozen.

Aye it takes a while though, do you go back the next morning for it like? 59669[/snapback] Next morning, these have been lying a fortnight i just haven't bothered my arse to go out and pick them up until now because it's freezing. Like a fucking minefield the back yard and the binman are due tomorrow 59673[/snapback] You do have the dog with you again the next day though right? Cos it would look weird if you were just walking about on your own collecting random turds. 59677[/snapback] As it happens it's a bit of a double edged sword in my favour. The ones left a couple of days are easy to pick up because their frozen and the fresh ones warm your hands when the weathers bad, it's not that bad a job when you put that slant on it

Aye it takes a while though, do you go back the next morning for it like? 59669[/snapback] Next morning, these have been lying a fortnight i just haven't bothered my arse to go out and pick them up until now because it's freezing. Like a fucking minefield the back yard and the binman are due tomorrow

One good thing about this weather is the dog's shit goes like concrete and makes it much easier to pick up, every minus has a plus

Theres only cubicles in both the mens and the womans but i did notice a fanny pad machine on the wall as i made my exit, to late was the cry though.

When i started my new job a couple a months back and was just familiarising my self with the new surroundings i made the dreadful mistake of accidentally going into the lasses toilets. The worst thing about it was this was a Wednesday and for some strange reason thats the day my body decides to flush itself out of all the toxins that have been consumed at the weekend, it's not pretty. So here I am nice and settled in a nice warm bog waiting for the weekly explosion when i hears a set of high heels on the tiles outside the bog door, so i thought to myself either SMO has followed me to my new job in his cuban heels or I'm in the birds toilets, it was the latter, so i quickly wips my K Swiss out of view of the culprit and hoped she hadn't seen them, only this hunching position brought the inevitable on and before i knew it the flood gates had opened much to my neighbour's displeasure in the adjoining cubicle. There was only one thing for it, job and knock, so i quickly wipes my arse and bolted out hoping no one was coming in as i made my escape, fortunately for me there wasn't and i managed to make it to the men's opposite and finish the job in peace with a large grin on my face knowing I'd got away with it. Closest shave I'd had in a long time. P.S the bird next door pissed like a race horse if it's any consolation.

Understatement tbh. It was a good idea but i don't think that system could handle one of my rotten logs on a Monday morning, i some times have to get a bucket of water, murder if your at work, in the lasses toilets

Theres a panel of 5 millionaires with a £100,000 each up for grabs, investment wise if a member of the public comes up with a new invention/idea. Basically the rich getting richer and the poor getting ripped off.

Their well named mind. That programme has gave them a licence to rip people's ideas off big time, scheming bastards, you can see the £ signs in their eyes when anyone comes on with anything decent. Take your fucking eyes out as soon as look at you, especially the fat posh cunt on the end, and the Greek, Ronsealed, Paul McKenna look 'a' like isn't much better. Just as well he hasn't got McKenna's powers.

Just had the dog down the park and i couldn't feel my hands after ten minutes. How your meant to give yourself a jolly in the bushes in this sort of weather is beyond me. Going to have to find myself a new hobbie if this weather keeps up.

Watched it last night, can't seem to find the other thread about it. That Duncan Bannatyne is a top shelf shit pusher for certain. It's good to see them torn apart bit by bit for their shit ideas though, then still not admit they've failed miserably. All end in tears if you ask me

Sounds painful and drawn out tbh, much like his posts

SMO's favorite breed apparently, something about it being pocket size, making it easy access anytime any place, anywhere

Apparently Renton was found in the mens toilets standing in a carrier bag working his fine off, things got a bit messy, hence the ambulance

I thought you preferred the guitarist

Be a bit late for a Europena push by then, Anelka or not.

With a bit of luck the whole band will be made to swim there. If they manage that then I'll class them as the best band in the world, taty picking bastards.

I've always imagined SO to have a similar pair of specs tbh. 59182[/snapback] He guzzles chocolate bars like him i know that much, I've seen it with my own eyes

I can't help thinking of 'Roly' from Grange Hill after reading them 2 posts

Woah woah, I'm 13 and a half stone and 6 foot tall, last time I checked I was in the right height to weight bracket, how do you explain being 12 and a half stone and only 4 foot 7"? 59158[/snapback] 6' tall, yes in a pair of your lasses high heels, and as for the 13 and a half stone