Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Not in your wildest wet one.

I have no problem with Roeder getting the job if he's getting it for football reasons. If he's getting it to keep the seat warm for Shearer thats a disgusting, farcical situation. Is it true that O'Neill was put off because Lard Lad insisted Roeder and Shearer had to be part of the coaching set-up?

He needs to cut the umbilical from Whispering Pigface. Is he a man or a mouse?

Well, this weeks challenge is to make a people-carrier into a convertable, so we'll see

Starts tonight. New studio, new reasonably priced car, Clarkson, Hamster, Captain Slow. Looking forward to it. Its amazing how many people who aren't really interested in cars enjoy it too.

No but i can do you a bag full of kack for a reasonable price 132686[/snapback] You could market it as 'Cack-in-a-Sack'

Sodje is at Southend now isn't he? Sam (his brother) is/was at Brentford at they have another brother who is/was at Darlo. When Effe was at Huddersfield and one of his brothers was playing for the away side the fans sung "He ain't Effe, He's his brother"

He'll never reach Hank Aaron's record though. The hatred for Bonds due to the Balco investigation and his surly nature is such a contrast to the exitement when McGwire and Sosa were on 'the run for sixty-one'.

What if they were in some sort of giant pillowcase?

Considering Palce got thumped 3-0, Johnson might be an option. Had a good debut season in the prem but hasn't exactly set the championship alight. My worry is his fee will be greatly exaggerated. 132617[/snapback] You've probably seen more Championship games than any of us this season Brock. Who's stood out for you?

Me and my brother have been having this argument since we were kids. I say a ton of anything hitting you on the head kills you, he says it wouldn't due to a low density / high surface area dissipating the blow.

...would it kill you? Or because of the low density and high surface area would it just drift down and harmlessly bounce off?

After the financial results, I'd guess we have to lower our sights from the Prem/La Liga standard. How about Andy Johnson or David Nugent if Palace and Preston respectively don't make it through the play-offs?

Way to earn that £5mil Sven!

I see your point Leazes, but for me a midfield of Beckham, Gerrard, Lampard and Downing simply doesn't offer the defence enough protection against world-class sides. The only positive I can take out of the Rooney situation is that we might see a player like Carrick or Ledley King (if fit) employed in the holding role. This would free up Lampard and Gerrard to play to their full potential. 131819[/snapback] I think you're right Doc Sure it's a major blow that Rooney is out, but it could turn out to be a blessing in disguise... IMO Gerrard would be excellent in the Rooney-position just behind Owen. With Carrick and Lampard in the centre mid, Cole on the left and Beckham on the right, the midfield would be strong and have a very good balance. 131864[/snapback] Yep, thats exactly what I would do. It's up to the Swede now to show us why he's worth £5million a year.

I see your point Leazes, but for me a midfield of Beckham, Gerrard, Lampard and Downing simply doesn't offer the defence enough protection against world-class sides. The only positive I can take out of the Rooney situation is that we might see a player like Carrick or Ledley King (if fit) employed in the holding role. This would free up Lampard and Gerrard to play to their full potential.

Where is Renty anyway?

Upson would be good if he wasn't so slow, Curtis Davis could well end up at a club in a better position than us. Gera looked good last season, not so much this year. No one really stands out, Kirkland would be alright if we needed a keeper but he is the goalies equivalent of Woodgate/Dyer. EDIT: does Kirkland actually belong to West Brom or is he still Liverpoos?

Is that Derek Factzackly?

Carrick is an entirely different kind of player and role in the team so i doubt they'd have been in direct competition. Nolan like Dyer has no chance of starting but i know who Sven would prefer to have on the bench as an attacking option if the two and it would be Dyer with his pace and direct running, so i reckon Sven would have taken Dyer. 130587[/snapback] Which is extremely unfair, as Nolan has been awesome all season and Dyer has made 7 appearences this season. However, I agree with you when you say Sven will probably take Dyer ahead of Nolan regardless. 130592[/snapback] Nolan has been class for two seasons now. He's clearly at the wrong club. Are Liverpool coming in for him again though? 130593[/snapback] Probably if they don't go for Simao at Benfica. 130595[/snapback] Poor mans Steven Gerrard tbh. Why would they want him when they've got the real thing?

Doesn't sound like it. "Offered" and "handed" are the only things I've seen so far. Let's just hope that a) he isn't poorly advised like Bernard was and he wants to stay himself. Having said that, if the Arsenal story is true and his agent advises him to go, you'd have to say it would be good advice unfortunately. Let's hope he signs the contract anyway - it would have made much more sense for Shepherd to go to the media when the contract was signed by the way. Announcing that you've offered someone a new contract is completely daft and is only going to alert potential suitors that now's the time to make your move. You generally only see that sort of stuff when there is a dispute and the chairman wants to make it clear that it's not the club that's stalling. Still, at least Freddy got to see his name in the paper. 130378[/snapback] Exactamundo. Until negotiations are signed, sealed and delivered I would have thought it would make more sense to say nowt, rather than draw attention to it.

Keegan was unproven, Coleman has proven to be decidedly average.

David Nugent played (only 5 minutes mind) for Preston on sunday six weeks and five days after breaking a metatarsal. Get him in that oxygen tent, dosed up with calcium tablets.

It's Ansell from The Apprentice