acrossthepond

Would you say you'd rue it, or are you just Lyon? Personally I'd get bored-eaux after the first two or three puns, especially the unbel-Lille-ably bad ones.

Neither the government nor this edition of Parliament is fit for purpose I'm afraid. An SNP MP was just speaking and she was completely right: Parliament is trying to do in 2 or 3 days what May's worthless government should've had done in the preceding 2.5 years. It's an impossible task (and I mean the word impossible literally. It will not happen. It cannot be done.) This ship of fools is sinking fast, and taking the Union with it. Only a general election will suffice now. 1 year extension, general election, and get it sorted. New government, fresh Parliament with a clear majority...talk about unicorns. We're fucked.

It is, in English. Spanish speakers are more likely to call him "Miguelito" or something along those lines if they want to be familiar.

How many books full stop do you think he's read? "If you don't like my principles, that's fine. I have others." Fucking snake.

How's the treatment room at Hillsborough?

Is that tomorrow's paper, like? Seems like it should be dated a few weeks ago. I don't think "Pharaoh in Brussels" has much to do with it any longer. Next week after MV3 bombs utterly we'll be hearing about how Remainers in Parliament are like the Pharisees casting down Jesus, or some other such fucking shite.

Brilliant strike. We were well worth a point, all 3 I reckon but as always one-eyed refereeing from England's finest ensured it was always going to be difficult. Great end to a match, real determination to not lose.

Arms on the shoulders - wasn't every cunt saying when Wolves did that to Dubravka it wasn't a foul?

Get the fuck in, have that you cheating pack of cloggers!

Still haven't used the "t" word here in the good old USA. White people are never terrorists. They're just "deeply disturbed" individuals who commit "horrific acts." Glad to see the NZ authorities are calling it what it is and already taking action. A label isn't going to do anything for the 49 who lost their lives, God rest their souls. But it might help the next 49.

He's the type of player who instantly makes everyone around him better. Aimless balls out of defence become potential counter attacks when they're aimed in Rondon's direction. Perez's weaknesses are partially ameliorated when he has a bulldozer (instead of diver Gayle or donkey Joselu) to partner up front, so he looks much better as well. For a team usually cursed with injuries we've been lucky to have him fit for as long as we have (I know I've gone and ruined it now) because without him we would be a pretty pedestrian side.

This surely has to be the end now. She has to resign and Brexit has to be postponed until after a new election can be held. How can the DUP continue to supply confidence to a leader whose deal they will have voted against twice? She and her cronies have insisted that their "complementary agreements" or whatever bullshit are legally binding - the attorney general has just said they aren't. This deal is going nowhere. This country is going nowhere. She has to go immediately.

Fuuuuuucking hell. Me nerves are shot completely. What a match, what a club. NUFC in its essence out on the pitch today.

You will not see a more obvious red card all season. If it had been an outfield player who did that they would've walked. More NFL than EPL, fuck off.

What in the fucking fuck is this ref playing at?

It's the result of decades of pseudoscientific bullshit here in the U.S. - some quack around the turn of the century started spouting that circumcision would lead to a reduction in masturbation and a decline in certain nervous diseases. The "theory" gained widespread popularity and the practice calcified, even though most doctors here now know that there is no real benefit at all. Neither myself, my son, nor my father is circumcised. The practice is extremely widespread (for both males and females) in Egypt, and so I don't actually know how it came about that my father missed out on that procedure, but I'm happy he did, as I'm sure it contributed to his decision to not have it done to me or my brothers. I do know that my family would be considered fairly moderate Muslims (by middle eastern standards.) As far as I know, none of my female relatives have had it done either, which I am very grateful for (not as much as they are, I reckon.) @Gloom: please do not think I'm trying to defend the horrific, monstrous practice of FGM. But I do want you to know that in most cases the entire clitoris is not removed, nor any part of the labia. In an actual "circumcision", it is just the hood of the clitoris that is taken off. Again, there is no reason to do this and the practice should be drummed out of existence.

I'd call it "effective." We finished 10th last season. We're going to stop up this season with some room to spare. All of this on basically no budget at all. What miracles do you expect him to work? If the matchday experience is flat, it isn't down to Rafa, I think that's clear. It's down to the fat bastard finally grinding us down over ten years.

This weekend West Ham are us and we are Burnley. They haven't been particularly good, but we've been so poor and rudderless than they're 2-0. Something has to change at half-time. Introduce Diame maybe, Hayden looks well off the pace and is being bypassed.

Not much longer now, he's going in the summer.

That should be Kepa sacked tomorrow. Contract ripped up in front of his face and escorted out the building by security personnel. If he stays and Sarri goes then the entire club is poisoned. That was a disgrace. An embarrassment to the game.

To be honest I'm a little disappointed. (As, I think, were most of the people in the ground.) We got the job done and it was a great attacking performance, but they were truly there for the taking and we should've hammered them. They could've lost 6-0 today and had no complaints. Heart went in mouth when Almiron got chopped down, I had flashbacks to Ben Arfa for a moment. Thankfully he was all right and dominated the game start to finish. A brilliant full debut from what looks like a brilliant player.

More of that please.

Off you go, you dirty cunt you. Almiron has them utterly terrified.

Fucking hell! If Almiron had gone down instead of taking the shot that would've been a red, very lucky Huddersfield defender.

What in the everloving fuck is that?? It's like another dimension.