acrossthepond

I think that might be all of Russia, like.

Christmas in June.

VAR has been incredibly effective so far. How many penalties would NUFC have won if that system had been in use over the PL era?

Hell of a match, here's to many more like that one.

Jordi Alba must be up there with the best defenders. He has been absolutely brilliant. The iberian mackems up to their usual bullshit, aided by a horrifying clanger from de Gea. Spain will score again I think.

This would be a fiscally prudent time to try to sign those Portuguese internationals who just jumped ship, if we were interested in any of them. If they have even a vaguely successful WC as free agents their wages will be stratospheric.

There is a good striker inside Mitrovic, I think it's undeniable. But it's a good striker we saw all too rarely during his time here. He was given multiple chances to impress and never really shone even in the Champ. Daryl Murphy looked a better option, if you've forgotten already, and that says it all about Rafa and his system and where a lazy, occasionally brilliant, lunatic frontman fits into it, which is to say, he doesn't. I also want to add what I've always said about Mitro: he doesn't work at all as a lone striker. He doesn't make the kind of pointless runs that open up space for the wide players and he throws a tantrum when the ball isn't played into feet. He's not suited at all mentally to ploughing a lone furrow up there. Best of luck to Mitro wherever he ends up playing, I think it's clear it's not going to be at SJP. Like a lot of you, I have a soft spot for the mad Serb, but he just isn't good enough at Prem level and he doesn't work hard enough for Rafa, and at the end of the day the manager sees the players every day in training and knows who best fits his plans. We all thought Rafa was barmy for persisting with Diame and look what happened there. "In Rafa We Trust" - so trust him then.

Financial predicament, namely that we're in the richest league in the world, sell out every home game, and spend fuck all on players?

They said they didn't want to play in occupied territory, it wasn't just a safety concern. That's what's sticking in the Israelis' craw as usual. This from a country where one of the biggest clubs in the capital has a "no Arabs" policy and regularly chants death threats to Muslims, including their own players.

Liverpool paid 75m for Van Dijk, let's start at that price before we even come to the table. But to be honest I wouldn't sell him at any price. Lascelles embodies the new NUFC under Benitez and he's only going to get better. A player like him is probably worth 10-12 points over the course of the season alone.

The "MLF" thing is meant to be ironic, right? Nobody refers to supporters of their clubs as "lads' fans" in seriousness...do they? Please reassure me.

Be kind to the lad, his dad died from being gunned down to death.

I'm going to hope that this is just the start of a personal odyssey for him. Injured in the CL final which Liverpool go on to lose, Salah makes a miraculous recovery in time for the world's greatest stage and leads Egypt to glory. By "glory" I would settle for making it out the group stage.

Do you think Ashley might sell to a non-league owner with ten quid in his pocket? We could have a rivalry with Accrington Stanley, it'd be brill.

He'll be hoyed out around the same time the Christmas trees are. Best of luck to him regardless. A squad full of overpaid pissheed cloggers, a shit tip of a town, a pair of blagging bullshit artists as owners, an abominable flatpack bungalow for a stadium. How's the rental market in Newcastle?

The sex toy twins at West Ham might actually be worse than Ashley. We finished 3 places higher than West Ham, their squad is littered with overpaid trash, their stadium is a gigantic mistake, and their fans are best left unmentioned. If Rafa wants to go he'll do much better than Tweedledum and Tweedledildo.

Cacapa getting the hook after 19 minutes or so in that game, iirc. Shola being offside from a free kick taken in our own half v. Derby. 1-0 Barton penalty game at Fulham - possibly the worst 90 minutes of football ever witnessed in the Premier League not involving Sunderland. Regular chants of "you don't know what you're doing" as a new formation was unveiled every game, with 2-3 players out of position every match.

Sad but brutally true. Neither Shelvey nor Lascelles will have been given a second thought. Instead some abominable set of cloggers like the aforementioned Livermore or indeed Alfie Mawson, Delph, Michael Keane, or Drinkwater will go.

Hayden isn't up to much. A replacement for him would be very welcome. Diame will probably start for another season, which I'd be happy with. Yedlin can't cross and his positioning is questionable, but he makes up for it with simply ludicrous pace. Keep him until that starts to go, we need it. Doesn't have to be a starter, but he's a good option to have on the books. I'd dispense with everyone we have out on loan, sign Dubravka, attempt to sign Kenedy, allow Haidara and Gamez's contracts to run out, sell one of Darlow and Elliott, shoot Joselu in the centre circle at SJP, and then start recruiting from there.

"I personally consider it derogatory." Cough up some money so Rafa can buy non-Championship players then and we'll not have a Championship team, you fat dickhead.

There was a special one for Isegrim too as I recall, and a few other wacky ones, including a Confederate flag and maybe even an apartheid South African flag.

Dorty bastard. Even I wouldn't stoop so low as to piss on Algerian footballers.

Can I start abusing Slimani again? He's been pretty poor in his brief appearance in our colours.

That's before even getting into how cock-eyed those grades are. Kirchoff at 8/10? The bloke's knees were swapped for lime flavoured wine gums about a year ago and he now spends his time warming Bolton's bench. Alvarez a 4/10? He cost them 10m years after he'd already left the club. Rodwell even earned a 2 for...what? Consistency in picking up his cheques?

When you look at that litany of absolute dogshit it boggles the mind. How many players have these chancers signed? The agents' fees alone must have nearly beggared them.