acrossthepond

Allowing these crackpots in is supposed to be part of this much-vaunted "democracy." It obviously will never pass parliament, but this just exemplifies the kind of absolute nutters that Mubarak had been keeping at bay for 30 years. As much as I hate the fucker, I think Egypt is going to be paying for the January revolution for many years to come. Rough times ahead. Tantawi is a criminal, the lunatics are taking over the asylum, and thugs are in charge of the voting booths.

That was utter domination. Brilliant stuff. Everyone played their part. Isn't it fantastic to actually have something to play for at this time of the season? I feel we're good value for it too, Tottenham are in awful form and Chelsea are stretched thin.

Maybe Toontastic's local Ramadhan observer can help. You can't eat anything or drink anything, including water, while the sun's up. Obviously this will knacker you even if you aren't fasting on matchdays, which I understand is our Muslim players' policy. You also aren't meant to have sex (with yourself or others!) while the sun's up, or smoke, or swear, or generally do anything that gives you pleasure. It's like Lent. You're supposed to give it up to show your self-control. (That bit about not brushing your teeth is fundy crap, like. Ramadhan is all about intention. If you go to brush your teeth with the intention of letting liquid pass into your throat and breaking your fast that way, then you've done it. If you brush your teeth like a normal human being and you ingest some saliva/water/foam in the standard course of brushing, that doesn't invalidate the fast. This is pretty much common sense but sadly so many of our number fail to grasp the concept, hence the teeth-brushing/covering your mouth while outside in the rain/other extremist bullshit.) If I were a professional athlete, I wouldn't be fasting, and that's coming from someone who's quite devout. Religion isn't supposed to interfere with your livelihood. The livelihood of Ba, Cisse, Ben Arfa and Tiote depends on playing football, which fasting obviously impairs. There's provisions for making up fast days later on in the year, so if I were any of our Muslim lads I'd put off Ramadhan until the close season and give a bit more of my exorbitant salary to charity if I felt guilty about it.

Fucking hell man.

I've seen Pardiola thrown about a couple of times on here tbf. Tongue in check, no doubt.

Fish's link? Urgh... Didn't click it. Guessing I don't want to know.

Canny that. Could watch it all day.

What do you even say after a goal of that quality? It only takes a moment of magic and HBA has it in droves. Brilliant stuff, I could watch it all day. Apparently not as good as Sessegnon though. Crisp finish from Cisse too after super-sub Shola (who really seems to have warmed to that role, he always works hard when he comes on.) The only worry is, of course, Ba. I hope it was just a bit of petulance and frustration at having a bad game.

Hopefully Pardew gives them a bit of a kick up the arse and we go out looking hungry. That was a forgettable 45 minutes. Can't really single anyone out for being poor, more of a general team malaise.

Brilliant stuff. We didn't get sucked into the trap as I feared but held our own admirably. Well played to Pardew and all the players, not a hider amomgst them today (except maybe Gosling.) Santon in particular had a great 2nd half. Not getting carried away. I will be over the moon with what now seems an incredibly likely Europa League place.

Aye, it's all very well to say we're winning and so they can have as much possession as they like, and I know we're probably trying to conserve energy because madly chasing after the ball is exactly what Swansea want us to do, but I think we'll see a much more open second half.

Maybe they should question whether Carroll was 'for real' when he opted to take a pathetic tumble rather than go round Krul and pass into an empty net.

What handball, like? When Simpson was on the line? That was shoulder for me all day. It isn't even mentioned in the BBC match report. Sky desperately clinging to any sort of excuse for their beloved Liverpool. "Top 7" becomes "Top 8."

This has been the most fun watching a football match I've had since I don't know when. Probably the 5-1. Happy April Fools Liverpool!

This is going to be a mad one. Can't shake the feeling we're going to lose, but hell, even if we do, we're still 5 points ahead and the season is looking great. Howay the lads!

Three attacks of absolute magic, the rest of it was mostly dreadful hoofball dirge. Perch has done alright, fair play to him. Hoping Colo is OK, that will be pivotal to our season.

Is Santon hurt? Perch has done something of a job as a DM so far this season but we all know he's a walking disaster at fullback.

Excellent news. I had a feeling Colo was heading for the exit door in the summer to excuses of 'well he wanted to sign and we wanted him to as well, but he wasn't prepared to accept our terms, he doesn't fit our wage model anyway, all of the fee will be reinvested in the team', etc etc etc. Very happy to see that won't be the case.

Samba and Arshavin have both buggered off on the last day of the Russian transfer window. Samba to Anzhi, Arshavin to Zenit St Petersburg. No tears shed over either of them, I don't think, but I'm surprised we didn't see Tottenham/Chelsea/even Man U in for Samba in January. Class player.

Cabaye scored the winner against Wigan, had a truly brilliant game against Man U (actually he was great against them in both games), was good against Norwich, and has had many games where he hasn't stood out but has been solid and better than our other options. Guthrie has been great in his absence but Cabaye is the better player and has contributed much more to our success this season. Guthrie is more in the "engine room" mould (funny as that was always seen to be his weakness before this season) while Cabaye has that engine too but is also a reliable provider who our strikers obviously lacked against Spurs. I like Guthrie and he's a good option to come into the side when our main two are out for whatever reason but it has to be Cabaye.

Your post refers to Ben Arfa setting foot on the pitch. Doubt that will be happening. We'll see Cabaye and Tiote in for Guthrie and Perch but no other changes imo.

Astonishing. Well done Zambia. Another catastrophic failure by CIV though to not overcome a far weaker side. They're overreliant on a fading force in Drogba but still should've had far more in terms of quality. at Gervinho, Drogba too.

Atrocious. Let's put that behind us - it was never going to be anything but a loss with Perch and Obertan starting but I was hoping for a bit more passion than that. It's in the books now though, so we should look forward to the Wolves game.

Can you explain when exactly you think he should play then, if at all?

He won't even put HBA on when we're losing 5-0.