Gemmill

Stick the "as it stands" table up, Sky, you cunts. FOR YOUR INFORMATION.

Big Joe to get on and kill the game. Maybe snap some ankles.

I can't get over how gutted Tyler sounded when it went in. Fucking dyed in the wool Red, Gary Neville, had to take over for him.

Excellent from Maxi.

Commentator FUCKING GUTTED. He sounds like he's just been punched in the fucking belly.

Listened to a long form interview with Bruno Fernandes and he was dead sound, but I think it might be the only time in his life that's happened.

Mint to have decent options from the bench.

Gordon coming on for Murphy?

Maxi with the slide-by tackle there.

Schar with his usual concussion.

The fact Ten Hag has made no subs tells you he's happy with a nil nil. The fucking nonce.

Antony makes Gordon look like Brad Pitt.

Willock ffs man. Has to score.

Neville thinks the ref's doing a good job letting all of Man United's fouls go.

Maxi loves fluffing the easy bit.

We're a better team than these when Casemiro's missing. Better coached, better set up. Just hope we can make it count.

Maxi fancies it against Dalot. As he should. Hopefully plays himself into the game.

Aye the double standards. They're being cute, taking the sting out of the game, or being streetwise. We time waste.

Ten Hag's team time wasting. The fucking slap head.

Is Martinez's hairdresser a Cherokee? I've seen nowt like it.

Willockinho back at it.

That graphic of Weghorst that Sky use. Looks like something off Beetlejuice.

Prediction. Dalot will have his shorts on back to front by half time. ASM carried off the pitch on a sedan chair.

Were you giving people a list of your "ones to watch" for season 23/24?

Are his fucking polo neck jumpers part of the mind games too, do you think? Or is that also just because he's a giant cunt? If I was Howe and was getting asked about Ten Hag's comments, I'd find it very hard not to say "Has he delivered his latest fucking tedious lecture on all things Newcastle, has he? What is it this time? The mayonnaise chip-dipping bald spenk." Although no doubt the press would insist that Ten Hag had "won the mind games".