Gemmill

Pope is fucking class. He's earned us loads of points this season and made massive saves at really important moments in games. Aye he's wobbly when he comes out of his box, but keepers that are that good in their area AND can come out and take players on basically don't exist (outside of the couple that do and they're already at the level of club that reflects their scarcity). You've been doing so well recently but it should come as no surprise to you to learn that you've got this one wrong.

Just watched a second interview with Wilson where he mentions that Isak is "not an out and out number 9, he's probably more of a wide striker which is why he has those dribbling skills" Hear my PLEAS, Daddy Eddie!

Undercover Adam. How did a celebrity of his calibre not get recognised?!

I think Leicester will get out of the mess though.

Interesting Hope saying that Newcastle have plans on picking up one player from a relegated team. Ward-Prowse? Maddison? Looking at the league table there and the final relegation spot is one from Leicester, Leeds or Forest (Everton are sunk, as you know). I'd probably pick Leicester to go just for the Maddison opportunity.

When I saw it in real time I assumed there was some luck and some bundling of the ball off their defenders involved. On replay, it was the opposite. Clinical, clean, and a bloke in total control of the situation - proper "how the fuck can you do that at such pace in an actual real match you freak" stuff. £63m might start looking like a steal if he keeps anything like these levels.

....and finally, those all important expected points: Everton: 0.18 Newcastle United: 2.73 DOMINATION!

The yank stats lads and the bookies are going big on us being CL boys next season.

Too busy raping folk, I would imagine.

wykiki accepting help across the road from some strangers.

I'm a righteous dude.

For anyone still worried about the other set of scouser.... Liverpool now HAVE to win 3 and draw 1 of their remaining 6 games just to surpass our CURRENT points total.

Dyche's voice man. He's a fucking ginger orc.

Spurs v Man United OVER. They've disappointed themselves and thrilled the rest of us.

If I was on a pundit panel with Owen, I'd insist on relentlessly calling him "Squirt". "That's right, squirt." "I agree with squirt."

Owen "I know full well when the momentum's going for you up in Newcastle, it's hard to stop it". You captained us to relegation and fucked off.

I already thought he was mint, but I had no idea he had absolutely scandalous shit like that in his locker.

Howe sounds like he's maybe warming to Isak on the left. How could you not after tonight?

Court martial him. He's got to learn.

SPURS EQUALISE!

Spurs are peppering Man United's goal here. We could go 2 points clear if the North London Cowards can equalise.

Wilson: "I'm more of a natural 9, he's more of a wide player" when asked about Isak. Please Daddy Eddie!

If we'd done this to them last season they would have gone down. Whoever started the match thread on here last season is a CONVICTED RAPIST.