Gemmill

I remember the Profanisaurus entry for Barnsley Blowjob which was where you're humping a lass from that particular Yorkshire hellhole when she farts so powerfully that it parts your bollock hair.

Oh, believe me. WE FUCKING KNOW.

ewerk's problem is that he has a Fisher Price phone. Yours are too numerous to list. Fucking paying £40 a year to Audi to use Google search when you're sat with Android auto. I bet you're the only direct debit they've got coming in for that business model which died in the early 2010s.

Have you sorted your Android Auto out yet, or are you still using your CD loader in the boot?

I tried to protect your name in this Dave. I won't be so kind next time.

Aye absolutely. Just don't turn up late for training lads. Everything else goes.

I hope he tries to go and sit with Anthony in the canteen, and Anthony just looks up, all spotty forehead, and grimly shakes his head and gestures to a table for one in the corner.

But I'm equal parts thrilled and shocked that a man whose arrogance far outweighs his competence has failed to make the grade. Tale as old as time. Some of you lads on here would know ALL about that. Naming no names of course.

We could do with him lasting a while yet. At least til we dump them out the cup.

The only thing that could make it spicier is having a few quid on it.

Too busy making eyes at himself in his wing mirror.

It's the Thighmaster herself, Suzanne Somers.

I can well understand why you would expect something funny, but even Andy Murray would struggle to return a SHIT SARNIE over the net.

It's to delay the disappointment of arriving in Scotland. Was that tedious and obvious enough for you, ROBERT?!

I'm the perfect neighbour. I'm polite, I say hello if I see you, but other than that I stay the fuck out of your business, and I don't make any noise. Literally designed in a lab from the parts of other REALLY SEXY perfect neighbours.

Nice one lads. @Dazzleri I'll use your post about shagging prossies as the first slide in this evening's pitch presentation.

I think it's fair to say the fun's stopped.

I bet you drive around the mean streets of Poole in an old MG. Roof down, ponytail flapping in the wind, resting the sleeve of your paisley shirt on the rolled down window, glancing at yourself in the wingmirror and giving it a knowing grin and the double eyebrows.... "Life is good, Robert. Life. Is. Good."

Nice one that sounds good, I assumed I was gonna have to fork out to buy every game.

It definitely works better with the cable. Using it wirelessly causes my phone to get hot as fuck and it's hard on the battery. Of course my 0.996l Focus comes with a wireless charging pad, which helps with the latter. 😏

And my Focus is 0.996 litres, actually.

The DOWNLOW baby. Just something me and the cool kids lowkey talk about and shit.

It won't work wirelessly initially. You'll have to plug in to the USB and you'll get something pop up on your phone. When you're sorted, you can reroute that £40 a year to me. And I'd like a public apology thread.

You're not having to crack the OS man. They come preloaded now so that they work with Android Auto and Apple Play. My 2019 Focus had it and so does my 2022 one. I suspect if you plugged your phone into your car via USB you'd have the world of Android Auto suddenly opened up to you.