Matt

It seems to be some sort of cocktail dispenser which you take away with you from the bar containing shots of apple sourz, fruit juice and ice. They looked a right bunch of dicks with these great big things and to be fair I think they realised it.

Fucking bint ordering two 'sours towers' (words fail me) then paying on her card which took three turns to work. And three different barrels needing changing. And a pint needing topped up. Infuriating. At least the barman had the sense to ignore the twat who decided to barge in.

I seem to have managed to get 'sunroof burn' with a small patch of the forehead Fish-ified by the sun through the open sunroof as I went and dropped my boss off at the airport. What a dozy bastard I am.

He was at Blyth last season covering for the injured turns. Put in some good performances. 160895[/snapback] I know. I was there.

Bartlett is a quality keeper- assume he's back from the US where he's been playing on-off for a few months. Still, you'd expect a couple more goals fromthe side that was put out there.

Just make sure you lets us all know where you'll be!

Was a class day but by the time 1 am passed I could have just gone to sleep on the floor in the lodge (as inspired by sandy's impression of a dead man for which i was convinced would see him hoyed out).

Fucking hell. Millions of people taking half an hour to find their seat in the SE corner. Many of whom will probably be unable to count past 10 or know the alphabet.

Union Rooms - meeting at 7.30.... 159882[/snapback] Nice one. I doubt I'll be there for 7.30 but should be in before eight with a bit of luck.

So where are people going tonight, or have you all already gone?

A definitive answer would be handy.

You might need to invent a time machine and travel back to about 1992 first.

Nope, he is worth zero because no-one will take a chance on him. If anything, we'd be paying him off because he'd be lucky to get a contract on half what he's on now. That's £16m we're committed to from the start of last season, on which we are likely to never see any significant return. Yet we won't let our players go on frees.... The best thing we can hope for is that he wraps his Ferrari round the Swing Bridge one too many times and it finishes his career.

Aye Six pack for you..

It's amazing that Oliver gets away with it. They should really start printing the Chronicle in crayon.

Yeah, but the kids grew out of wetting the bed.

We're not going to be able to shift him and we won't be signing any superstars so we have to make the best of the situation. Either he pulls his socks up and does something useful or he fannies about and drops behind young lads like Pattison. It's all down to how Butt reacts. It would be nice to think 'sod him' but we wont be able to fill our Intertoto Cup squad with senior pros, so we'll have to put up with what we can get.

If you try to combine that singer's nose on Brock's ava with the word 'wish', does anyone else see 'Jewish' of is that just me?

I lad in our year at school got suspended for tossing one off under his desk in the middle of a lesson. Apparently he had been bet £1 to do it.

Beckham has 1 year left on his deal so I dont think a fee would be significant.

We commented on speculation little over a week ago over Fat Jimmy.

Beckham: So, what sort of deal can you offer me. FFS: It'll be top dollar. We really rate Steve and hope he can make an impact. Beckham: Steve? FFS: Claridge. Is he running late?

I am ringing the ticket office tomorrow and will endeavour to sort some tickets for the Intertoto. They'll probably be SE corner as it's my usual spot but if you have a specific desire for somewhere else I'll sort one elsewhere....

Totti and Materazzi's girly reactions aside, Italy were superb. Germany maybe had more of the play over the whole match, but Italy seemed to be able to do much more with it.

I've seen quite a few players score the 'perfect' penalties- which go in hitting the inside of the side of the net with power. No goalkeeper is going to save them. The shorter keepers won't reach, the taller ones won't get down in time.