Walliver

Depends if you are Pakistani or Polish. My view on racism is everyone is there to have a pop at. If you do concentrate or repeat offensive remarks to one group of people that to me is discrimination (bullying), be it gay people, ethnic minorities, fat, ginger, religious groups. Only exemption being Mackems and Alex. Well im not sure. She didn't have to shoot them. She could've just walked off. ''Thank you for your time but due to the UK's slack immigration policies im afraid our conversation has to come to an end. You see that many Pakistani's and Poles have made their home in England that i seldom have to drink with the same ones twice.'' Maybe that wouldn't be funny to some people though... That would only work if the Pole and the Pakistani walked away from their glass vowing to never drink from the same one again. Of course then the girl would be all alone and unable to make any kind of comment, politcal or racist.

I thought I'd posted in this thread already but apparently not. Having a Shepherd's/Cottage Pie with curry on the bottom and mashed sweet potato on the top is delicious.

Given the ludicrous odds I just got on Betfair, I hope Lawrie Sanchez gets the job. Can't see him turning us down at least...

You've only done half a job there. What's Tevez's celebration all about?

I got another application form today (from a Romany de Oliviera) and it's the same questions as last time.

If he wants top 4/title he has to think bigger - Mourinho or Hiddink. Do you really think Mourinho would be interested? Surely he could have any job he wanted, why Newcastle? What's Hiddink up to these days?

I've just been reading a few threads - people on here don't seem to want Redknapp, Hughes, Shearer or Keegan. I haven't seen any other names linked yet. Who do you want to be in charge? (Who's likely to be interested.)

Back of the net! Wahey! What did you text? Baby hedgehogs again? No, I posted it a couple of pages back. I wanted to know how long 30 feet was in metres, they told me it was more than 98 metres. What is a baby hedgehog called?

Back of the net! Wahey!

What I always wonder is what would happen to Shearer's reputation if he completely messed up as Newcastle manager. At the moment he is seen as a hero in a majority of Newcastle fans' eyes, how would they view him if he did worse than Souness?

THAT'S THE ANSWER!

In the application form it tells you to make assumptions if the question is incomplete, so I guess you could assume that the moon was the size of a chocolate bar in this instance. I would love to meet a real AQAer.

Think her name was Romany (if thats what you mean). May reapply seeing as I've got nothing to do but I thought I answered the questions pretty well. Though for the question: I had a dream about cutting off my hair - what does this mean? I answered: To dream that you are cutting off your hair, suggests that you are experiencing a loss in strength. You may be eliminating unwanted thoughts or habits. Surely that is a perfect answer? It might be that they see that as an agony aunt type question and want you to be optimistic. Also, I don't really understand the last sentence. Because dream meanings (did you get your answer from dreammoods.com?) can be seen as a load of tosh they might have been expecting a more fun answer telling them to go for a crazy hairstyle or something? Or maybe your answer was perfect and all the rest of yours were complete rubbish. Yeah, but due to their high volume of application they can't tell me what I did wrong. I answered the question "When will I meet my soul mate" with "Nobody can tell exactly when they will meet their soul mate. However, if you keep your eyes open, you are likely to meet them sooner rather than later." Not sure about the grammar there but thought it was a decent enough answer - very AQA like! I think you put that earleir in the thread, didn't you? It definitely reads like what I would expect. I'm quite tempted to get another application form and then text all my questions to AQA. If they refuse me after using their own answers I'd be gutted. I think the initial cost would soon be covered by wages.

Which is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? That's not the same, shirley? If the moon was made out of bubbly chocolate rather than cheese but remained the same size and everything then it would weigh differently. How much would a brick weigh if it was made of feathers?

Think her name was Romany (if thats what you mean). May reapply seeing as I've got nothing to do but I thought I answered the questions pretty well. Though for the question: I had a dream about cutting off my hair - what does this mean? I answered: To dream that you are cutting off your hair, suggests that you are experiencing a loss in strength. You may be eliminating unwanted thoughts or habits. Surely that is a perfect answer? It might be that they see that as an agony aunt type question and want you to be optimistic. Also, I don't really understand the last sentence. Because dream meanings (did you get your answer from dreammoods.com?) can be seen as a load of tosh they might have been expecting a more fun answer telling them to go for a crazy hairstyle or something? Or maybe your answer was perfect and all the rest of yours were complete rubbish.

Most of them were just Googling, there were a few tricky ones that were either incomplete, needed calculation or a big explanation. Seeing that they use different questions, I might re-apply. Was Rowina Said your point of contact or did you have someone else?

On an almost related note, my (female) friend and her (female) friend were out driving one day. They got pulled over for speeding but got off with it because they called the policeman Officer Handsome!

I applied for this a while ago (also got turned down), my questions were: What is the tallest building in the world and how tall is it? If you travelled at the speed of light, how long would it take to get to Jupiter? What are the rules to the drinking game 'Kings'? (Try doing that in less than 153 characters) Can you recommend a good restaurant in the City & a bar we can go to afterwards? In what sport do players take long and short corners? What is the origin of croissants? Will I ever get married and have children? What is a group of eels called? What would the moon weigh if it were made of aero chocolate? How do you make a screwdriver? What is more toxic, a small scorpion or a large scorpion? Where is Timbuktu? I had no idea about the moon one.

I was in town and needed to get a cable that was around 30ft long but the cables in front of me were in metres and I wasn't sure exactly how long I'd need so I asked 63336, 'How long is 30 feet in metres?'. Their response? 98.425 metres! ('1 metre is equal to 3.2808399 feet, therefore 30 feet is equal to 98.425 metres. There are 100cm in a metre, and 12 inches in a foot.') Being slightly more clever than a retard, I realised this wasn't quite right and after reading someone got 20 free questions I thought I'd point out their mistake in hope of freebies. Their response, which I'm sure I'll get billed for, 'AQA apologises for the inaccuracy. 30 feet is equal to 9.15 metres. There are 16 ounces in every pound and 14 pounds in a stone.' I normally like the relevant facts they add on but that's just silly. And the cable wasn't long enough, even with the revised figure.

Ode to 2008 It's gonna be great, it's gonna be great, I can hear the sound of Frosties hitting me plate, It's gonna be great! With Tony, our mate, "Well everybody knows it's gonna be great", Even ladies who wait, or a pirate (parrot noises), And your teenager brother who's out on a date. If you live in Oz, mate, or the Empire State, Even ladies with personalised number plates. Or a bloke in a crate; well he knows it's gonna be great! It's gonna be great, it's gonna be great, It's gonna be great! "It's gonna be great!" (Tony again.) (To this tune:)

AQA became the font of all knowledge for a group of my friends and it was always used to settle debates. One night, a little bit drunk perhaps, I changed the name of one of my friends in my phonebook to 63336 and sent a message to the real one asking if one of my other friends 'loved the peen'. You can probably guess the rest of the story, the first mate sent me a text saying the second was a bummer but because it looked like it came from AQA it has now become 'fact' (although he hasn't actually started fancying men as far as I know).

I have a male friend called Jo, he turned out straight an' all that. I also used to know a guy called Su. He was from Cameroon so maybe it's a common name there?

I've just read Jon Ronson's 'Men Who Stare At Goats' and it's fantastic. Makes you feel like you're learning something (although it's a something that'll never be very useful) but it's fascinating and really well written. I originally bought it as a Christmas present but decided I wanted it instead.

Why J? ??: