Walliver

I'll take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollipop Go 'head girl, don't you stop Keep going 'til you hit the spot

If you pulled a lass with your mum's name, would you find it weird? Has anyone got any stories of this nature to tell me about? *Change this to your dad's name depending on your gender/if you're a bender.

This is unbelievable. Out of the many, I think I have to bring this one up for further attention: Who was England's first chiropodist? William the Corncurer

Eddie Irvine. John Watson. Well next time you see them ask them about Irish racing drivers.

Just about finished Paul Smith's Wasted?. It's one of the best autobiographies I've read. For those who don't know him, he was a cricketer best known for being part of the Warwickshire side who won the treble in the early 90s but then got banned from the game because of recreational drug use. One of his team-mates had an affair with the mother of his child for several years, he lost custody to his children, he ended up homeless for a short while and now he's helping people who have drug habits to get their interest back in life.

All I can say, "Is being Scottish and Jewish makes me the best value in the graveyard today!" Fucking hell. Toilet paper just isn't that expensive! I think he's more worried about running out of toilet paper when he needs it as popping down to the shop when you haven't finished wiping isn't a great thing to be doing.

I thought his son called it a ninja kick? I could be completely wrong, however. My favourite goal that he scored was his free kick against Derby (I think). He took it where you'd normally want a right footer taking it and so he curled it the 'wrong' way round the wall and scored.

Just 2 ply? Do you save teabags to re-use in your next cup too? No, I find most of the flavour has gone after the first cup.

I've just been and I've taken notes. - I remain sitting until I'm clean. - I always use my right hand to (hold the paper) whilst I wipe. - I use one sheet at a time. - Because I use my right hand, I lift my right cheek a little to give me all the extra space that I need. - As mentioned ealier, I do check my art work. I'll have to take closer interest in how I do this next time and give you detailed findings. - I wipe from front to back. As a matter of interest, once clean I stood up to give myself an extra wipe to see what it was like. The first thing I did as I stood was clench my arse. (Not clench, perhaps, but close/tighten/whatever.) I'm glad I'd cleaned myself up by this point.

Wes Beige tbh.

You should always wipe backwards, women in particular to reduce urinary tract infections. Or if you're manc-mag, just scrunch the bog paper up into a big ball, shove it in your crack and hope the shit sticks before strolling off laden with winnets. Does everyone look at every wipe? Or just towards the end? I look at my first as it lets me know roughly how many wipes I'm going to need. If it's a heavy batch, I'll blind wipe a few and then check again. If I think I'll be done within a few wipes I'll check each one for progress.

What if you did it the other way round?

Do you need the keeper in the background? http://www.sportphotogallery.com/Photos/Fo...SPGASFL019.aspx Same place without the keeper, not sure what the difference is. http://www.sportphotogallery.com/Photos/Fo...1246466_10.aspx

This.

Can anyone obsessed with Bond films tell me if there are any card/casino scenes in the following films: Live and Let Die The Man with the Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View to a Kill They're all films with Roger Moore as 007. Cheers.

I stay sitting. I don't see how doing this task in this manner confuses people.

2J, who was 9 or 10 at the time, remembers them well. What's your point? I suppose I can't say Brazil of '70 weren't great then as I wasn't born at the time? It's just the way you speak with such authority on the matter. "One hell of a team. I shat my nappy the first time I saw them! I remember it as if it was yesterday, I was teething at the time." Sorry for taking a past interest in football. More importantly, why were you wearing nappies when you were 9 or 10?

Sounds like someone's reading the Donald Trump story and just making Arena follow wherever he's likely to be. Next story: Arena back in line for the Scotland job.

It doesn't say it was an Italian fan who did the stabbing.

Psst, Matt, I think khay hates you.

Fuck me Gallacher scored a shit load! And we still only won by one goal.

My eyes work perfectly, I can see all the numbers no hassle, but I'm a bit worried that because my parents and my oldest brother wear glasses I might have to one day as well. I also recognised the lyrics Manc-Mag posted. Choon.

Here's a hint, it's not a club. Much to my disapointment, I've just found that out. However, to balance this out I've just discovered that the South African women's team is called Banyana Banyana!

I'd go with dinosaurs, they're the future. If you've already started work on the Titanic theme you could maybe take Alex's advice on board. "What did you learn at school today?" "Mr Wells told us about when the Titanic sank." "And what did he tell you?" "That a huge t-rex bit into the ship and that's why all the water got in."

Bafana Bafana is an AMAZING team name.