The Fish

Pity sex is still sex.

Aye, Mrs Fish is currently binging the Crown, watched Charlie's speech and will 100% want to watch the funeral. This means I'll take the lad to the park that's closest to a pub for the duration.

The level of interest will diminish though. Especially for Leeds. The Liverpool game is a different matter. There's a strong republican base in Liverpool and an anti-'establishment' point of view. Plus, they do like to make things about them. Dunno the best way to manage that fixture, personally I'd propose a minute's applause.

How would they tell the difference?

Heard nothing about getting the day off yet. But ours is an international business so it may be that we don't. Not fussed either way as I do fuck all on a Monday anyway

And they'll be grateful.

Partly, also partly because of the likelihood that some Scouser's will boo, and partly because some Leeds fans will use any excuse to cause bother.

Come off it man, I tried to blag leaving the car outside our gaff but we got a passive aggressive "Thank you for helping keep the park free for everyone to enjoy by parking your car in the provided car park." with the threat hidden in the small print "If you do not remove your car you'll be asked to leave the site."

Maybe they all had Groupon vouchers or whatever? The overwhelming majority were not middle class though. Or at least they didn't act, talk, or dress middle class. You're right though, once you're in the park it's extortionate. They also force you to park your car away from where you're staying (unless you pay for the premium treehouse things). So it's not like you can just drive to a Sainsbury's local or whatever. The on-site market was charging £4.50 for a pack of anaemic looking 'ham'. The price and the fact that I'd seen quite enough sallow looking pig flesh, put me off it.

I was hoping for a more continental breed of pleb. Oliver's Travels it is then.

Met her when I was about 10. Now we've ended up living fairly close.

Centre Parcs isn't middle class, man. Well, I guess the massive treehouse things might be, but the majority isn't. Definitely not the restaurants and pool area. We were having a meal and across from us we saw a Shamuette tuck a paper napkin BETWEEN THE CHINS ON HER NECK! Like it was totally normal. Plus, like I said, Mackems were there. Think we'll do Eurocamp abroad next time.

A real mackem family holiday.

There always is, and always will be, one. All it will take to paint Football as a traitorous pasttime played by thugs and enjoyed by scum, is one shout of "I don't have any strong opinions about the passing of a 96yr old millionaire".

Back from a week at Longleat Centre Parcs; Fuck me it's expensive, even after you've paid for the stay and the activities! Food was mostly shite, Bella Italia and Las Iguanas, but because of some holiday park curse it's somehow worse. The other guests were largely large and scummy. Hopped on the little train thing they've got to get around the camp and 4 female mackems were loudly talking about pretty disgusting shit "Eeee ma cozzy's too small, ma tits neuhrly fell owut". Seemed oblivious to the kids around them until Mrs Fish politely asked them to keep it down (I was under strict non-verbal instruction to keep shtum). Made me smile when the driver shook his keys at them as they got off, only ruined when they seemed in on the joke though. Guests and food aside the place was great. Managed to dodge the really bad weather. Little lad drove a tiny Land Rover Defender round a track, rode a horse, sailed in a boat, swam every day, he even managed a hole in one on a little crazy golf course. Drive back was a nightmare mind, poor kid got car sick so had to stop every now and then, Birmingham where the M5 joins the M6 was a fucking nightmare too. Should have taken a little under 4 hours, ended up being closer to 7.

First read, I thought you meant an actual skunk.

The new approach of actually closing down the opposition is going to take it's toll on players who've not really pressed like that for years.

Most of the Untold stuff is spot on to be fair. The stuff about the Mafia-owned Ice Hockey team was hilarious. (Crimes and Penalties)

Where's the cigarette joke?

I don't get it?

There's more afoot at Leicester than just Rodgers. Their owner said last night that they can't afford to spend money on transfers because they're at their limit in terms of FFP/P&S. They've had a few expensive gambles fail to bear fruit and that's had a knock on effect. Now they've a swollen squad with overpaid average players that nobody wants to pay good money for, and fewer want to match the wages the players are on. Personally, I would have cashed in on the likes of Vardy, Maddison, Tielemans, Fofana etc. As has been said, this is a weird season with plenty of teams at risk of the drop. They could surely have used the cash injection by selling those top players to build a squad good enough to survive this season while making a profit.

Nearly £2bn spent by PL teams this window. Judy Watson is a saint.

It's hilarious that you think I don't have several of those already

Finally, my big break

Translation, please don't turn Sky Sports News off, we've advertisers to think of man.