The Fish

not offensive unless you're offended by bad jokes bu here goes anyway guy in a restaurant gets the waiters attention "Excuse me, this chicken is rubbery" The chinese waiter smiles "ahhh thank yo ver much" bows and walks off.

is mighty strong, able to beat someone with batleships I mean I may beat somebody in a game of battleships... but never with one...

would dice with Death and cheat

should note that of the time of posting I wa awake at 4:28 am, this shows commitment to the cause, ignorance of duty and apathy towards the norm. G'night Khay, or should I say G'morning

smacks the pony

wishes he was a little bit taller, wishes he was a baller, wishes he a girl who looked good... he would call her

will have to make do with lesser men now as I'm off for lunching and munching. I might have a greggs... yes, they have them down here... they even have pubs... my life is so sweet

just said something shallow and pedantic

is jealous of my student stylings

danced the light fandango

is going to regret the day he bought those testicular clamps, for that clamping procedure he vaunts so much is actually just as easily performed with the finger and thumb of a female Orangatan

is a deluded man, whose predication to suggest homosexuality in others, is clearly a thinly disguised attempt to obfuscate his own sexual proclivity

is darn tootin right wouldn't blame me for bragging if she saw the lady that was the source of my sauce

doesn't realise that I was trhe recipient of "sexual favours" last night, not once but twice and for that I am truly truly thankful, but not quite so sperm-ful cue the calls of disgust

has no idea the fegging dramas I've had to put up with, feuds, power failure, torrential downpours and a curry that didn't comply with a pre-specified agreement for it to go in, taste nice, get digested and get out.

has cheated on me with Sima.... has broken my widdle lickle heart

did it in the Vulva. Ewwwwwww Vulva

regrets, he's had a few he's also had a few sexual relations with members of the Vole family and by that I mean Daddy Vole,a Mammy Vole and Cousing BillyBoy Vole, the one with the gammy leg and the twitching eye

should know that a crisp between gum and tooth is the worst thing there is. Fact

finds garage doors sexually arousing.

reads Pratchett as if it were Gospell alsdo can't carry a tune as his fingers were severed in a bizarre Scrabble incident

should be able to see my hangover from there! all coco mate, it's really cool beans at the minute, the house is ace biscuits a mate has Sky Sports and the pub is literally 1 minute 13 seconds from my front door and they serve Carlsberg Extra cold for £1.40, they have they tastiest Subs and have a pub quiz on sundays. I never have to get public transport as the center is a five minute walk and the peeps I'm living with have cars. oh and the ladies are ladies on the street but a freak in the bed...aiiiie? westside

shakes it cos he can't break it jeezus, this slowed up after I left didn't it!

knows a girl that not only is blonde and nymphomaniacal, but also understand computers? is either a liar or a God

is welcomer than a nympho blonde girl at a LAN party