The Fish

Ah man that's shit. You thought about any industries you might want to move into should the axe find it's mark?

Been watching Feel me Once, there's only one episode left. I have several concerns that I'm not raising with the Mrs, who is enjoying it immensely. But, it's better than Below Decks or Married at First Sight, I guess.

They could play canasta for all I care.

It was minus bastard 7 this morning. I did the gallant thing and defrosted her car. Then i walked the lad to school. My nips are only now returning to their normal state.

Reckon I'll just wait for some kindly soul to upload the most relevant/interesting clip. Like you. You could do that couldn't you? Come on be a pal.

What if like me, you're interested in FFP but wouldn't listen to talksport even if it was the only avenue to nirvana?

Kieran Maguire reckons we could spend £30m on a player and it 'wouldn't even touch the sides'. I don't doubt that this window, just like all the others since the takeover, we'll have money to spend. I think pleading poverty is just gamesmanship, mentioning FFP, talking about having to sell players, and then trotting off and spending £30m, and bringing in a few loan options. One thing I was thinking about is Hall, could we be holding off on playing him or signing him, so that we can make more domestic loan deals?

He's just one of those who conflates what he hopes will happen with what he thinks will happen. The 'plan' falls down under the slightest scrutiny, but I'm sure it's picked up a few likes and a few internet backslaps, so that's what matters. PIF want to reflect in any glory or success, they want to paint themselves as a modern, forward facing country, they want to be the owners of the best club in the world (regardless of whether that's possible or not). PIF are not after a quick return, they don't care about flipping the stadium for a few hundred million, they don't want to cut costs or asset strip.

He won't be cheap.

I am how God made me.

There's a lad I went to Uni with, came from a respected boarding school, he got a 2:2 in Aviation and Pilot Studies. He had enough money from inheritance to pay for the pilot training course. Instead he blew pretty much all of it on a trip around South East Asia, drugs and drink when he came back. He's never held down a proper job despite being well spoken, affable and all that. Every time he gets fired it's because the boss had it in for him, or the company was 'dodgy'. He's currently living with his sister and her partner, rent free. She even pays his mobile phone bill for him. I used to feel a sort of fraternal responsibility for him, offering guidance when asked, support when needed and a little tough love too. I even set him up with a sparky mate who was going to take him on as an apprentice but the lad never showed up. Other friends from Uni have done similar, those that haven't distanced themselves already. None of it's worked so now he's just a bloke I chat about football with. He's still not got a permanent job, still spending what ever money he comes across on drink and drugs, still blaming everyone else for life not working out for him. He had every opportunity in life and has fucked it entirely. Point is, some people can't be helped and you'll better off not letting their fuck ups be part of your life.

That's surely a law firm from a Disney Kids tv show?

No flat screen tvs, no break for exercise... Civil Service is the real punishment.

His market value on transfermarkt is €75m right? So we send Ritchie, Dummett, Hayden and Fraser that way and we get the fee down to €74m.

Martin Samuel believes that it, or something like it, exists.

5yr deal, reduce the fee by sending a player the other way, and by including stipulations that only come into effect in later seasons and thus only appear on future accounts?

Kimmich? Yes please.

We don't play again until the 27th, a break will do all of the team good.

What's the difference?

No, tried that once and found it not to my liking, too much micromanagement, too many lifers as well.

Their total Market Value on Transfermarkt? €81.25m. Which is less than Bruno (€85m).

Pretty much, Kane and Rice counted as pure profit as there is no fee to amortise. In FFP terms they cost nothing. So say we had two bids of €50m, one for Bruno, one for Barnes. The Bruno deal would be better in FFP terms than the Harvey Barnes one.

Surely it's simply that you're successful? Nobody gives a shit about Reading's dodgy owners because who gives a fuck about Reading? People care about our sponsorship deals because we're a threat. The top 6 don't want another force to deal with, the chasing pack don't want another valuable European spot sewn up, and the rest don't want another pair of fixtures written off before a ball is kicked.

Compared to my normal day? No, positively hectic. Compared to a normal person? Yes, glacially slow.

Dat boi is thicc