Kid Dynamite

Gaia theory. The Earth will kill humans before humans kill the Earth. Will we learn? Will we fuck

Boris was just asked if this was happening and refused to deny it. Looks like we are all having a quiet weekend in then!

Fuck you baldy/bravado

At last, some positive news

Im only pulling your leg. Of course it’s worrying, but being stoical or being hysterical will have zero impact on the outcome of corona, only on how you get through it (not saying you’re hysterical, but you get my drift)

Tesco’s was out of flour yesterday. Got some at the Spar instead. Spent the night making chocolate concrete with the bairn

I’ve tried 4 times now edit- fixed

I I mean one silver lining in all this is that I can post this gif in response to anything Renton posts for all eternity

Aye, but there’s zero chance of isolating 70mil people unfortunately. Unless they start testing NHS staff we are all just going to keep the virus going anyway. I’ll pick it up at work, bring it home, wife will take it to her work and Daughter to nursery etc. and on and on it goes

Liverpool. It’s chance to be a random generator anyway

Summer 1997 has to go down as one of our worst transfer windows in history mind https://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/newcastle-united/transfers/verein/762/plus/0?saison_id=1997&pos=&detailpos=&w_s=s Sold Ginola, Ferdinand, Beardsley and Elliott. Replaced them with Rush, Barnes, Pearce, Ketsbaia, Tomasson, Pinas, Hamilton and Pistone. We also signed Speed and Given but fuck me, we destroyed that team in the space of 6 weeks

Aye, I meant if I did a different job. Fuck all chance of me being able to work from home. Wouldn’t be surprised if I get drafted onto an inpatient ward at some point.

I reckon I’d nail 3 months quarantine like . I’ve got a pile of books I’ve not had chance to read, a pile of records I haven’t listened to, a conservatory full of arcades I never get to play, as well as the usual Xbox, Netflix, Amazon Prime etc

Economic rescue package to be announced tonight apparently

In a nutshell Can we put it to bed now? If you can work from home then it makes sense to. My worry is there are 5.4mil people in the UK with Asthma. If they all stop going to work for 3 months the country is going to end up like a scene from mad max! What do we class as non essential jobs? Bog roll makers? People who work in pharmaceutical factories? People who make baby food and nappies?Mechanics fixing emergency vehicles? BT technicians who keep the phone lines going? Maintenance men checking fire alarms in tower blocks? I may be overstating the point, but if 10-20% of the workforce either gets made redundant or stops going to work the ripples are going to be enormous

Stuff like scrapping all hospital parking charges for staff and visitors would be helpful like. I’m currently paying £30 a month to play Russian roulette to catch Corona

You can’t help yourself can you? The goalposts have shifted over the last week, and yes it looks pretty grave. Stop with the petty digs though please. We are all as miserable as each other at the minute. I also have asthma but am I fuck taking 3 months off work. I rarely need to use an inhaler and I’m otherwise fit and well. The whole economy is going to collapse if we aren’t careful. I suspect the government will have no choice but to introduce some sort of universal welfare/mortgage breaks in the coming days. They don’t have a choice really. Also gives them a good excuse to bring back austerity for 50years once this horror show has ended.

Aye, but it says in the paper that Korea is fixed now, so stuck your Doctors and scientists up your arse

I think Caprice posts on here under a couple of pseudonyms

Aye that’s a thing apparently. I’ve seen someone who bought an old Victorian house and has posted about 1000 pics of it on the same account. These are the same people who tend to be missing something in their life though and fill the gap with insta likes. Same vein as the millions of profiles which are just young lads and lasses posting pictures of themselves posing with zero context

May main concern is if we can’t convince Joe Public not to buy 100 toilet rolls at a time, how the fuck are we meant to convince every retired person to lock themselves in their house for 4 months. I’m not even sure we will manage to keep the majority of people self isolated for 7 days. I know plenty of daft shites will be bored after 3 days and go down the pub for a pint

Crack on. I hope your worst fears are realised if it will allow you a nice big “I told you so”

Anyway, I work in A&E 40hrs pw, and I’m married to a nurse practitioner who works in a different A&E 40hrs pw so if any fucker is going to catch it on here it will be me!

You corrected me to 99.6%. You need to let it go ffs