Monkeys Fist

I just feel desperately sorry for Fat Sharon from Marketing when she whips out her Boris coffee mug next to Wykiki today. He’ll make White Island Volcano look like a hiccup.

We need to coordinate- A push north from Red London, combined with the sweep south from the Greggs Pasty, gravy and chips fuelled Northern Army should see us victorious in a matter of weeks. Once the Southern Nancy Army has made sure their weaponry is vegan-friendly and carbon neutral, we’ll meet you near …Edgeware? We’ll put the mushroom penis of our despised Quisling cabby on a cocktail stick outside The Tower Of Lahndan.

We should march on Blyth first- we need to start the war with a morale boost and the fatties and smack heads will be a walkover. After that, we’ll hold two ports, and need to head west, take Hexham and maybe have a little bit war crime against the posh cunts, then push on to the West Coast. If we surround Workington and cut off the supply of frozen chips and kebab meat, we can starve the turncoats out within days. That’ll give us a solid East to West block, ports on both sides, and numbers. Then the push South in to Racist Yorkshire…

Insane. It’s pikey fucking central.

Hang in there mate.

If you can manage the stairs and then find your bed I’ll be impressed.

Southern shandy drinking la la?

If it gets a bit crowded, just send them off on a nice day trip to… oooo… I dunno… the local volcano?

Ask Chukka how that worked out.

Some blokes, a tart, and snivelling rat.

The soft cunt was nearly crying. Rancid.

Well… fuck this. (Why didn’t Bridget get her speech ??? )

Blyth. Gone

Mackems Bridget by 3000 over Torys.

Newcastle declaring… Labour.

Wonder how the DUP are feeling? That’ll be them fucked off, won’t it?

Blyth going to a recount, probably lost to Tories. Fuck every selfish little cunt.

I’m not even joking now, Rise Up In The North!!!

I’ve had QI on since Patel showed up.

I still blame the Welsh Jews. (Sorry, my hearts not really in it.)

This is my biggest fear, more so than fucking Brexit. And Patel can go and boil her fucking minge.

Right, I’m forming the 1st Forest Hall Militia. Who’s in?

Well, there might be some graft building the new Scottish Border crossings.