Big Onion

I'm not saying Ameobi currently deserves to start ahead of Carroll. Just that it's only right that Shearer's gone in and told everyone it's a clean slate, he's ignoring recent (relegation placing) form and giving players a chance to prove themselves all over again based on what they've produced in the past. I was at that Man City reserves game too. I don't think Ameobi was dragged off to preserve his fitness either, he didn't even look up to it at that level. You're probably right about Shearer's thinking (and I've probably overstated my case somewhat as I just can't fucking stand Ameobi these days ). Even if he was given a clean slate, there's already a dirty great blemish on it after just one game I'd say. Not that I'm yet convinced Carroll has the quality to make it in the PL - that's for him to prove. But he's got enough about him to get a start as things stand for me.

Guthrie played too deep yesterday. Don't know if that was the plan but Nolan seemed to be the one playing highest up (not that he was remotely effective there). Without wanting to go overboard about Guthrie he's better than he looked yesterday and showed earlier on in the season that he can be handy getting forward and joining in. We really need at least one of the CMs and the wide players to take a bit of responsibility and have a go, as opposed to all this short, safe sideways/backwards passing too many of them seem to be doing for fear of fucking up. Like PL says in the match thread, I've got a bit of sympathy for Nicky Butt, who must know passing's not his strength but keeps having to try something because no-one else will.

That 'one-in-three' in the league is a bit generous if you ask me. He's got 32 in 109 league starts (which is one in three and a half), plus he's made a staggering eighty appearances off the bench. Martins has 27 in 72 starts plus 10 sub' run-outs, which is considerably better. I'd also take into account the fact that Carroll is much better in the air than Shola, important to us at both ends just now. We never win anything when a goal-kick/clearance is sent towards Ameobi, as most of the time he doesn't win the ball and on the rare occasions he does he has no control over where it goes. We'll pick up our share of second balls when Carroll plays, and these things count. I also think Ameobi's attitude has deteriorated - he looks lazy these days, and yesterday's failure to follow Faye more than once is an example of this, as was his pathetic sulk on the halfway line a few months back, and his 'I'm too big to be doing this' performance when KK put him in a reserve game last season (think it was v Man City - I was there and he was a disgrace). I think he's been absolutely shit for ages now and I'd be happy if he never played for us again.

I wouldn't even look into anything that is said over that place however, yesterday I got the impression Martins wasn't injured and that there was some sort of disagreement beforehand. Overall, on the performance yesterday it was the most stressfull watch all season, the shit that was served up was unreal. Nolan couldn't pass, whilst Taylor had about 10 minutes to cross a ball and still fucked it up! Looking at the fixtures next week: Sunderland v Hull, Boro v Fulham, Stoke v Blackburn and Portsmouth v Bolton; I remain unconfident, however looking at previous results against Spurs away it seems to be where we always get a freak result, and hopefully with some players coming back from injury (Enrique, Lovenpants and possibly Barton?) we could get all three. Thumbs up to Carroll, was really good to see a local lad show real passion and fight, whilst the others dont give a flying fuck! Don't even mention Ameobi, hopefully Carroll's goal is the final nail in the coffin for that lousy excuse of a footballer! No fear of me taking most of what's said on N-O too seriously I just stuck it in for a bit of colour while having a go at the errant Mr Martins. I've been convinced all season Carroll is a better option than Ameobi and hopefully now he'll always be picked ahead of Shola and gets a run - likely I'd say given the Martins carry-on. We definitely need the improving Enrique back as Shearer/Dowie won't be going three at the back against the spuds I doubt.

Aye I reckon it could go that way as well. Then all we'd need is a replacement for Martins and about £30mil worth of midfielders to provide our strikers with the odd chance

Several reports on N-O that Martins has deleted all his Newcastle supporting 'friends' on Facebook He's a little shit and he's got previous, but it's a tricky one for Shearer given the paucity of options he has. Shearer's praise for Owen has put the precious little fucker's nose out of joint is my guess. It's something we could do without just now like.

Hopefully Shearer's learned if he's going to play a targetman, Carroll is a much better bet than fucking Shola. They'll have been drilled all week about dealing with those high balls into the box and they were man-marking, yet that useless cunt goes daydreaming and gives Faye of all people a free header - and it wasn't the first time he'd lost him either. Waste of space he is. Well done Andy Carroll, class finish.

A bit more on the issue of fitness: There's a clear suggestion he suspects some of the 'injured' players might be milking it, and he's not having it. I can imagine him giving Messrs Viduka and Gonzales a meaningful look as he set out these new rules

Little Red Rooster - Howlin' Wolf *keeps the break going*

Bobby Taylor - Blackmail Links not colours, as these are quality tunes (Plus I've no idea how to do colours )

Money doesn't guarantee happiness of course. It does, broadly speaking, give you a far better chance. That's why so many people want the filthy stuff, and those who have it tend to go to great lengths to ensure they keep it. 'I want to live in peace in Brazil' for fuck's sake

I reckon if the cash disappeared the appetite would return soon enough. Makes me sick, a millionaire footballer living the dream and he decides to go all menopausal. Arsehole. [envy/bitterness]

That's settled then: Carroll plays ...with young Ranger coming on to score a last-minute winner, obviously

At least you can play off Carroll as his touch is consistent (if not great). Shola's 2nd touch is a tackle more often than not and the occasional sublime bit of play is inevitably drowned amongst the ridiculous stuff. Wouldn't be against seeing three upfront with Owen dropping deep to help out the midfield. Agree, especially with the last bit. He'd also be useful coming back for the inevitable barrage of long balls/throws that'll be heading towards our six-yard box tomorrow evening. We've got very few players who can handle that stuff - Carroll certainly can.

I saw several reserve games last season and wouldn't read too much into them to be honest. Edgar was head and shoulders the best player regularly for the reserves; put him in the first team and it's a different story. Although as far as Carroll goes I think he's done fairly well this season in the bits and pieces he's had for the first team. If Shearer wants a target-man type I'd be happy to see Carroll get a game. He's excellent in the air, strong and far better at holding it up than Ameobi.

I see our emerging cult hero Nile Ranger is in the squad for Stoke, along with Carroll. He's eighteen, which is older than Shearer was when he made his debut (and followed up with that hat-trick on his first start). The idea of a fairytale in the making briefly crossed my mind, before I remembered this is NUFC, where things like that just don't happen

Bollocks. Ryan Taylor left-back I expect. I notice there was praise for Carroll (and Ranger) from Dowie today. Wonder if they're thinking of starting him Saturday?

Stage musicals are not my thing. It's one of those shows that's just become a staple down the years. The version I mention is brilliant as much for the performances as anything else (Ellen Greene, Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, John Candy, John Belushi, Levi Stubbs and that brilliant three-girl soul chorus that runs right through it). This touring version might be alright for some I guess but I'd probably hate it.

Dusted down my old VHS copy of Little Shop Of Horrors the other night (the 1986 musical version). It's still a great watch, a tongue-in-cheek delight from start to finish. The Steve Martin/Bill Murray dentist scene is one of my favourite bits of any film ever. Superb casting, especially Levi Stubbs as the voice of Audrey II (an ever-expanding man-eating alien plant, for anyone who's not seen it ) Any of you young 'uns who've not seen this gem should get it watched.

Forumming at its very best

He's been shit so far. It's patently fitness with him - as SBR said, if you can't run you can't play in the Premier League. He'll never be a top player but he could be decent enough if he could get round the pitch. It's a disgrace really that players paid what they're paid can't even fulfill the basic requirement of being in the best physical condition possible to do their job. Shearer places great emphasis on professionalism and Dowie is known to be a stickler for fitness; I imagine Mr Nolan might find training a fair bit tougher than previously in the coming weeks.

I'm just hoping the week with Shearer and Dowie has gone well. Can't be confident but a win is certainly possible: despite their home record when all's said and done they're not a great side. We badly need to win one of these two away games coming up, or the pressure on the Portsmouth game will be huge. A win and some favourable results elsewhere would be massive, although it's obviously a lot to hope for.

Smogs game getting moved suits me as it goes, and I've always liked night-time games. I'm probably in the minority in not being arsed about Saturday 3 o'clock kick-offs, although obviously these fixture changes must be a right pain for the lads who do aways regularly or live away. The only kick-off times I really don't like are the 12/1-ish Sat/Sun ones, which are just shit.

They're right about Bassong like, as good as he's been at CB. He seems to have cut it out lately but he got away with murder a few times. I'll never know how the fuck he got away with that one on Bellamy

You what? Aye after he was hauled off there was a marked improvement Aye I want to see Guthrie start every game myself. My take on Shearer sticking him in the reserves last night is that AS must rate him and wanted to get match-fitness into him asap. Hope so anyway, although it nearly backfired by the sound of it.