Big Onion

Hendry's just knocked a 147 in What a player. Ten years past his best and still competitive. I can't see it but I'd love him to win it again. He's got more bottle than the rest of them put together, a born winner.

Supermac Still one of the very best English strikers I've ever seen. Pace, power, scored with either foot or his head, in or outside the box. Should have had fifty England caps all day long.

We had in place last summer the manager who had the best eye for a footballer we've had since Joe Harvey, and Ashley wasted it. Ashley's biggest and costliest mistake, and I hope he's having fucking nightmares about it.

Nolan, Xisco and Alan Smith for me. Ryan Taylor is kenk but he didn't cost much and won't be on a quarter of what Smith's on, and Smith has produced the sum total of fuck all in his time here. The likes of Owen and Barton have been poor value overall, but at least have contributed at times.

For some reason I had that pegged as '90s but I've just checked and you're right, it qualifies. I think it's their best as well.

It's a real headache for Shearer that neither of them will last 90 minutes. You get the feeling he wants to go with this 4-3-3, but we've got no-one who can take Martins' role in that system, and only Carroll who might make a decent fist of playing as the target but hasn't got the quality of Viduka. I expect we'll see more formation changes during the game again tonight. Speaking of which, I really hope Enrique's fit, as no left-back just throws us right out of shape.

I wish I liked SFA. I always think I should, but never really 'get' them. Love Eels though. Think I'd plump for Souljacker. I'm like that about a few as well - no idea why I don't like Elbow more, for example. I forgot to mention Modest Mouse. I've only got round to them recently but I've grown like their stuff a lot - probably go for Good News for People Who Love Bad News. I'd say Arctic Monkey's first album would be one of the few from this decade I've played over and over again as well. Regardless of what people say about them being 'hyped' etc, I think they're just a really good band and that's a great album. I'm also a big fan of the sort of '60s 'kitchen sink' stuff they seem to be influenced by.

Have a bit more optimism man. People are always going on about us only winning 4 games at home this year but look at how bad our opposition is. Pompey have only won 2 games away this year, Boro only 2 as well (yonks ago), and the same is true of Fulham. We can get out of this by taking one match at a time. Edit: not particularly aimed at you BO. Can't find owt to be optimistic about I'm afraid - desperate hope is the most positive feeling I can muster Not sure about my username anymore now that I notice it's acronymical form like

I've gotten out of the habit of looking for new music over the last few years, partly due to the prevalence of shit 'indie' bands, partly because I find most times I want to play music these days I'd rather listen to old soul stuff than anything else, and partly, probably, because I'm getting old. I've not heard well over half the stuff in your list. Still, off the top of my head: Eels - Both Souljacker and Blinking Lights and Other Revelations Stephen Malkmus - Stephen Malkmus Joni Mitchell - Shine SFA - Rings Around The World Kid A - Radiohead (totally agree with your assessment of them) Blur may release something before the end of the year, and if it's as good as 'Blur' or 13 it'll definitely make my list Fairly conventional I suppose.

I'm hoping it's four-three-fucking-three myself

They'll set up defensively and try to play us on the break. They won't be easy to break down, especially given our lack of creativity from midfield. One of those games where an early-ish goal would be priceless, both to bring them out and get the crowd up. The term 'must win' is usually an exaggeration but not tonight. Four-and-a-half months since our last home win though is frightening, and I'm not confident at all - shitting it, in fact.

What an arsehole he is. Doesn't like the tone of the DJ so chucks his dead mother in to shut him up If you're sticking a hundred grand a week in your pocket playing for a top four club in the Premier League you're going to get a bit of attention. I fucking hate Frank Lampard.

KK apparently thought he was getting Schweinsteiger for Milner and he ended up with this cunt. No wonder he was pissed off.

Oh well at least there'll be plenty room

Is it just me or is this about the third time we've heard he's back in training? He'll make a decent quiz question in about five years time I imagine

Warm-up gig at the Academy 25th June. General sale Friday but you've got to turn up at the box office to buy tickets. I've got the presale link (still showing availability five minutes ago). Any regs on here want it pm me and I'll give you the link. Can't wait to seed Blur again like.

I came across an interview of his with some fellow god-bothering type, and he really is a full-on Christ-botter like. Keeps referring to the moment 'I was saved' and shit

Not quite what happened (unless it's a different anecdote like). Match between Maguire and Murphy (who've never liked each other) was about to start when Maguire realised he'd forgot his chalk. Asked the ref if he could go and get it. While he was away back to his dressing room, Murphy called the tournament director out and insisted Maguire was docked a frame for not being ready to start the match on time (it would have took him about a minute to retrieve his chalk for fuck's sake). Ref had no choice, as technically it was an infringement, but it was an absolute cunt's trick, something no other snooker player has ever or will ever do. Fucking wanker. The good news is Maguire beat the fat snivelling arsehole 5-2

*Enters thread. Attempts to share in the spirit of optimism. Fails miserably. Leaves thread*

Maybe Shearer's the one she gets a wide-on for these days now Royston's gone back to his caravan

Cynic While I don't deny there's an element of truth in what you say, I don't think there's much wrong with that article - Caulkin's obviously set out to do a positive piece, but it reads as a fair enough analysis to me . Obviously I've got more time for a writer who's generally been sympathetic towards our fans (Henry Winter is another) than, for example, certain local pressmen who seem more interested in slagging off a Newcastle supporters group than pointing the finger at the people who have fucked the club up. Did I read somewhere Caulkin had attended NUSC meetings, incidentally? Anyway, I do like his stuff.

Crossed posts there - I thought it deserved a thread (especially given all the WUM shite knocking about)

Another good piece from Caulkin, consistently the best and best-informed writer on Newcastle this season for my money:

O'Sullivan v Mark Allen 2nd round should be a cracking match. I really like Allen's game. As ever these days if O'Sullivan's in the mood he wins the title; if not there's a good few with chances. Selby looks sure to win one sooner or later. As long as the bible-bashing grassing cunt Murphy doesn't win the tournament I'm not bothered who does.

Sure are. Owen is a smart player, he's not suited to taking shots from distance and has always been one to place a ball rather than belt it. The problem with him as we all know is that he doesn't create chances for himself, he needs someone to send him through, or put the cross in for him. We don't have the players to do that. Yep. He's a penalty-box finisher who's biggest asset is finding space/reacting quickly in the box. If only our midfield knew where the fucking box was we'd have a chance.