Walliver 0 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 I really like a girl. She really likes me. We have a bit of history. She loves her boyfriend. He loves her. They have a whole lotta history. What makes this all worse is that she regularly tries it on with me (drunk and sober); she constantly flirts with me, trying to hold my hand and so on (alone and in front of her friends); and she wants to speak to me on a daily or multi-daily basis (often telling me very inappropriate things) - I don't know how to make it stop. Usually I manage to make nothing happen but recently I've been running out of reasons/will power and end up kissing her. We both feel rubbish the next day although she normally comes up with a line that makes me feel better. The longer this goes on, the worse I generally feel and I want it all to stop. I've offered the 'him or me' choice (she chose him) but she's kept on doing it. I remind her that she has a boyfriend (this seems to make little difference). I want to stay friends with her so I don't really want to be too harsh or mean but I'm running out of ideas. Anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty 0 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 (edited) She obviously just enjoys the thrill of cheating on her boyfriend... Ask her how she would feel if he was doing the same to her... if you want the thing between you to stop.... If you don't.. then don't say anything... and get on with it. Edited November 22, 2006 by Matty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Clean break is the only way in my experience. Cut all ties. It's tough in the short term but protects you in the long term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26343 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 She's a cheating skank, if she's going to do it on him what is there to say she wouldn't cheat on you if yous were together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 (edited) Her behaviour is appalling to both her boyfriend and you and says everything about her. Even if your ideal situation arose and she chose you and dumped him she'd do the same and cheat on you, and even if by some small chance she didn't you'd be constantly thinking she was. This has happened to two of my mates, it ruined ones life for quite a while as he had a "relationship" with somebody's partner on and off for ages and the other one was being treat like crap and played for a fool by a lass. I told them both to get out right at the start as people who would do this stuff aren't worth bothering with. Edited November 22, 2006 by Papa Lazaru Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkinthedog 0 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 imagine if she was your girlfriend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walliver 0 Posted November 22, 2006 Author Share Posted November 22, 2006 She's a cheating skank, if she's going to do it on him what is there to say she wouldn't cheat on you if yous were together? I know. She asked me today how I'd feel if we were together and she was spending time with him (same uni class, generally just friends). I told her I'd be quite jealous because of what she does when she spends time with me - surely she'd be tempted to kiss him if the roles were reversed. I think she pretty much accepted that was true. I'm not particularly wanting to get with this girl, though, I just want her to stop trying to have me as a plan-b boyfriend. It's not nice for me and definitely not nice for him. I do still want to be friends with her, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26343 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 I'm not particularly wanting to get with this girl, though, I just want her to stop trying to have me as a plan-b boyfriend. It's not nice for me and definitely not nice for him. I do still want to be friends with her, though. Being friends with her is highly unlikely to work out, I've been in the same situation as the chick and I'm not particularly proud of it. Either tell her straight that you want nothing more to do with her or fuck her, pull out and shoot your load in a circlular motion around her face then crack her full fisted on the nose so it gushes blood and you have yourself a jelly doughnut and one less thing to worry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 She's a cheating skank, if she's going to do it on him what is there to say she wouldn't cheat on you if yous were together? I know. She asked me today how I'd feel if we were together and she was spending time with him (same uni class, generally just friends). I told her I'd be quite jealous because of what she does when she spends time with me - surely she'd be tempted to kiss him if the roles were reversed. I think she pretty much accepted that was true. I'm not particularly wanting to get with this girl, though, I just want her to stop trying to have me as a plan-b boyfriend. It's not nice for me and definitely not nice for him. I do still want to be friends with her, though Personally i couldn't be friends with somebody like that, but its a shame for you as based on experiences of people i know, you probably won't be able to stay friends with her. It always ends badly if you do get involved and if she won't stop and just keeps messing you (and him) about then eventually you'll know you have to move on. I suppose your only choice is to be incredibly direct and blunt in telling her exactly how things are going to be if she wants to keep you as a friend and then you will have to stick to them (sober and drunk!) so she knows you mean business, then you'll see if she wants you as a friend without being able to msess you about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Agree with what the boys are saying, you're wasting your time trying to stay friends. Move on, it's the only way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mags 1 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 .02 worth... cut all ties.. it's the only thing you can do unless you want to go there shagging someone else's bird.... not advisable btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 2929 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 She's a cheating skank, if she's going to do it on him what is there to say she wouldn't cheat on you if yous were together? I know. She asked me today how I'd feel if we were together and she was spending time with him (same uni class, generally just friends). I told her I'd be quite jealous because of what she does when she spends time with me - surely she'd be tempted to kiss him if the roles were reversed. I think she pretty much accepted that was true. I'm not particularly wanting to get with this girl, though, I just want her to stop trying to have me as a plan-b boyfriend. It's not nice for me and definitely not nice for him. I do still want to be friends with her, though. Seriously though, what do you want out of it? No what do you REALLY want out of it? If you're game ask her if she'd be interested in going two up with you and her boyfriend? It will either get you fucked or help her see how petty she is playing the two of you off each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 (edited) echoing the posts before me she's clearly most interested in the thrill of the cheating thing, rather than you or her boyfriend! I know you will have become attached to her and it is unreasonable to ask you to sever all ties and happily move on. it won't be easy but as has been said, it's the only way for you to get past this stage. She texts, don't reply, she asks what you're doing? you're busy. Make it clear that you're not her "Plan-b Boyfriend" she cannot just call you when she wants. I know it's harsh, but you're her back-up affection bloke. You HAVE to get rid. You'll feel used, she'll (if she's any kind of human) feel like shit for the way she's treated you and her boyf. shut the door mate, it's the only way. Edit- oh and in answer to the title question, I find Alphabetically the best method Edited November 23, 2006 by The Fish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 2929 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 echoing the posts before me she's clearly most interested in the thrill of the cheating thing, rather than you or her boyfriend! I know you will have become attached to her and it is unreasonable to ask you to sever all ties and happily move on. it won't be easy but as has been said, it's the only way for you to get past this stage. She texts, don't reply, she asks what you're doing? you're busy. Make it clear that you're not her "Plan-b Boyfriend" she cannot just call you when she wants. I know it's harsh, but you're her back-up affection bloke. You HAVE to get rid. You'll feel used, she'll (if she's any kind of human) feel like shit for the way she's treated you and her boyf. shut the door mate, it's the only way. Edit- oh and in answer to the title question, I find Alphabetically the best method So fish, she's still stringing you along aswell then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 you're funny.... in a "look at that disabled Dog, it thinks it's foot is some kind of chew-toy" way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammynb 2929 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 (edited) you're funny.... in a "look at that disabled Dog, it thinks it's foot is some kind of chew-toy" way. Possibly, but your foot has more than enough meat on it that it will never be classed as a chew toy, more your pig's trotter type dog treat. Edited November 23, 2006 by sammynb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13846 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 If i wasnt hungover id post a witty picture that summed up the entire point of this thread and somehow instructed Walliver on what to do next, making everybody happy.. oh well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Is she fit? Also, I can guess what Wacky's advice would be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 I think you should listen to Wacky and Smooth Operator's sage advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Two options; 1) Cut all ties with her, she's not available, she'll do your head in, she'll cause problems if you meet someone else. 2) Shag her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Two options; 1) Cut all ties with her, she's not available, she'll do your head in, she'll cause problems if you meet someone else. 2) Shag her. I'm with option 2. Just shag her and move on. She can't be trusted with any man, so use her and cast her aside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 if your into playing games you could always use HER as your plan b. make it clear that your only interested in her when YOUVE got nowt else better to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13846 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Two options; 1) Cut all ties with her, she's not available, she'll do your head in, she'll cause problems if you meet someone else. 2) Shag her. I'm with option 2. Just shag her and move on. She can't be trusted with any man, so use her and cast her aside The personification of cool tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Two options; 1) Cut all ties with her, she's not available, she'll do your head in, she'll cause problems if you meet someone else. 2) Shag her. I'm with option 2. Just shag her and move on. She can't be trusted with any man, so use her and cast her aside The personification of cool tbh Correct. Watch and learn, my boy, watch and learn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bombadil 0 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 I'd still want to hear Smooth Operator's or Wacky's opinions on the matter if I were you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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