Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 (edited) In this thread I am going to post various incredible soundbites I here from being in and around Wallsend on a daily basis. The first one goes like this. To set the scene, wor lass is talking to her mothers next door neighbour, a fucking weirdo with retarded children called Iris. I'm getting the bairn out of the car. Anyway Iris starts talking to wor lass about her 17 year old niece being up the duff AGAIN!! "Has she never heard of contraception like"Iris says to wor lass. "She says it makes her fat", Iris continues, wor lass tries to make a comment but is drowned out by Iris's next comment, "So I teld her, it's the cock that makes yer fat man!" By this time I'm walking past with the bairn who I nearly drop for laughing and a passing couple walking their dog look shocked to the bare bones! Sweet Jesus! Edited December 4, 2006 by Smooth Operator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 You can't buy that sort of shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 6, 2006 Author Share Posted December 6, 2006 Knew it wouldn't be long til I heard another beauty. This time wor lasses mother is the culprit. Was on the bus back from Byker with her and the bairn. At the top of Sheilds Rd a couple of black lasses got on with their kids. One of the kids ran straight up the stairs on the bus and his mother started shouting his name to get him to come down. My daughter was asleep in her pushchair right next to this wife shouting up the stairs. So wor lasses mother pipes up, "Here man stop shouting, you'll wake the bairn up and she's just gone off!" The woman stops shouting and sits down. Thinking all is well I relax, only for wor lasses mother to turn round to the woman behind her (who she didn't know from Adam btw) and said loudly, "She thinks she's still in the jungle that one!". Best thing about it was the stranger she said it to agreed and went as far to say, "I'd send them all back me like". Incredible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Ah Byker, you have to love them. I had to do a local residents survey in Byker and Walker earlier this year, and the overwhelming majority opinion was 'fuck asylum seekers, they nick all our taxes!' When I then asked them what they did, they'd answer 'I'm on benefits pettal.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Aye, they nick our taxes. The lazy fucking scumbags who've never had a job that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 It was hell man, it was basically a consultation exercise to ask residents where they wanted money spent in the community. One of the options was asylum seeker support, and that was it, I'd get a 15 minute racist rant that would make Jim Davison blush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Fucking salt of the earth these Byker and Walker people, if only there was more like them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbyshinton 59 Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Fucking salt of the earth these Byker and Walker people, if only there was more like them Driving home to Waaaalsend last night. The Rose Inn at bottom of Rose Hillbank big blackboard with large lettering NUFC V REDDING Tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Knew it wouldn't be long til I heard another beauty. This time wor lasses mother is the culprit. Was on the bus back from Byker with her and the bairn. At the top of Sheilds Rd a couple of black lasses got on with their kids. One of the kids ran straight up the stairs on the bus and his mother started shouting his name to get him to come down. My daughter was asleep in her pushchair right next to this wife shouting up the stairs. So wor lasses mother pipes up, "Here man stop shouting, you'll wake the bairn up and she's just gone off!" The woman stops shouting and sits down. Thinking all is well I relax, only for wor lasses mother to turn round to the woman behind her (who she didn't know from Adam btw) and said loudly, "She thinks she's still in the jungle that one!". Best thing about it was the stranger she said it to agreed and went as far to say, "I'd send them all back me like". Incredible. You were on a bus in Byker with your mother in law? how fucking under the thumb are you?????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewOrleansGeordie 0 Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 it's the cock that makes yer fat That's a classic line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Knew it wouldn't be long til I heard another beauty. This time wor lasses mother is the culprit. Was on the bus back from Byker with her and the bairn. At the top of Sheilds Rd a couple of black lasses got on with their kids. One of the kids ran straight up the stairs on the bus and his mother started shouting his name to get him to come down. My daughter was asleep in her pushchair right next to this wife shouting up the stairs. So wor lasses mother pipes up, "Here man stop shouting, you'll wake the bairn up and she's just gone off!" The woman stops shouting and sits down. Thinking all is well I relax, only for wor lasses mother to turn round to the woman behind her (who she didn't know from Adam btw) and said loudly, "She thinks she's still in the jungle that one!". Best thing about it was the stranger she said it to agreed and went as far to say, "I'd send them all back me like". Incredible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 8, 2006 Author Share Posted December 8, 2006 Knew it wouldn't be long til I heard another beauty. This time wor lasses mother is the culprit. Was on the bus back from Byker with her and the bairn. At the top of Sheilds Rd a couple of black lasses got on with their kids. One of the kids ran straight up the stairs on the bus and his mother started shouting his name to get him to come down. My daughter was asleep in her pushchair right next to this wife shouting up the stairs. So wor lasses mother pipes up, "Here man stop shouting, you'll wake the bairn up and she's just gone off!" The woman stops shouting and sits down. Thinking all is well I relax, only for wor lasses mother to turn round to the woman behind her (who she didn't know from Adam btw) and said loudly, "She thinks she's still in the jungle that one!". Best thing about it was the stranger she said it to agreed and went as far to say, "I'd send them all back me like". Incredible. You were on a bus in Byker with your mother in law? how fucking under the thumb are you?????? Car was in for a service and I had to carry something back for her. Her mother is proving to be the worst of all the women in Wallsend tbh, she was at a school meeting with wor lass yesterday and was asking why the school hadn't sent out Santa letters to all the kids as planned. One of the teachers said they didn't have the facilities to sort it all out, so she replied, "Well I can't believe that like, what you's are basically saying is that were as far back as the Chinese!" Wouldn't have been so bad if the Chinese woman at the meeting hadn't walke out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Knew it wouldn't be long til I heard another beauty. This time wor lasses mother is the culprit. Was on the bus back from Byker with her and the bairn. At the top of Sheilds Rd a couple of black lasses got on with their kids. One of the kids ran straight up the stairs on the bus and his mother started shouting his name to get him to come down. My daughter was asleep in her pushchair right next to this wife shouting up the stairs. So wor lasses mother pipes up, "Here man stop shouting, you'll wake the bairn up and she's just gone off!" The woman stops shouting and sits down. Thinking all is well I relax, only for wor lasses mother to turn round to the woman behind her (who she didn't know from Adam btw) and said loudly, "She thinks she's still in the jungle that one!". Best thing about it was the stranger she said it to agreed and went as far to say, "I'd send them all back me like". Incredible. You were on a bus in Byker with your mother in law? how fucking under the thumb are you?????? Car was in for a service and I had to carry something back for her. Her mother is proving to be the worst of all the women in Wallsend tbh, she was at a school meeting with wor lass yesterday and was asking why the school hadn't sent out Santa letters to all the kids as planned. One of the teachers said they didn't have the facilities to sort it all out, so she replied, "Well I can't believe that like, what you's are basically saying is that were as far back as the Chinese!" Wouldn't have been so bad if the Chinese woman at the meeting hadn't walke out! I've just spat tea on my knee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Fuck me, no wonder your lass is a cracker with amother like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Smooth......is your mother in law Bernard Manning? And does the daughter look anything like the mother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Smooth......is your mother in law Bernard Manning? And does the daughter look anything like the mother His lasses surname was manning before she married the first time, I kid you not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Smooth......is your mother in law Bernard Manning? And does the daughter look anything like the mother His lasses surname was manning before she married the first time, I kid you not You want to have a serious look into that family tree, Smooth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 This thead could spawn its own tv series I reckon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 8, 2006 Author Share Posted December 8, 2006 Knew it wouldn't be long til I heard another beauty. This time wor lasses mother is the culprit. Was on the bus back from Byker with her and the bairn. At the top of Sheilds Rd a couple of black lasses got on with their kids. One of the kids ran straight up the stairs on the bus and his mother started shouting his name to get him to come down. My daughter was asleep in her pushchair right next to this wife shouting up the stairs. So wor lasses mother pipes up, "Here man stop shouting, you'll wake the bairn up and she's just gone off!" The woman stops shouting and sits down. Thinking all is well I relax, only for wor lasses mother to turn round to the woman behind her (who she didn't know from Adam btw) and said loudly, "She thinks she's still in the jungle that one!". Best thing about it was the stranger she said it to agreed and went as far to say, "I'd send them all back me like". Incredible. You were on a bus in Byker with your mother in law? how fucking under the thumb are you?????? Car was in for a service and I had to carry something back for her. Her mother is proving to be the worst of all the women in Wallsend tbh, she was at a school meeting with wor lass yesterday and was asking why the school hadn't sent out Santa letters to all the kids as planned. One of the teachers said they didn't have the facilities to sort it all out, so she replied, "Well I can't believe that like, what you's are basically saying is that were as far back as the Chinese!" Wouldn't have been so bad if the Chinese woman at the meeting hadn't walke out! I've just spat tea on my knee Aye when wor lass told me the story I went to laugh and snot came out my nose so I know the feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 This thead could spawn its own tv series I reckon SMO's missus as Alf Garnett tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted December 8, 2006 Author Share Posted December 8, 2006 Smooth......is your mother in law Bernard Manning? And does the daughter look anything like the mother She could well be a relation of Bernard Manning with the stuff she comes out with. Wor lass doesn't look anuthing like her thank fuck, not a racist either which is a bonus, although it wouldn't have been a deal breaker if she was like. The thing with her mother is that she doesn't realise what hse's saying is wrong at all. After she said it a few people said, "Eee you cannot say things like that man." To which she said, "Why not like, it's just a saying!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Maul 0 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 This thead could spawn its own tv series I reckon SMO's missus as Alf Garnett tbh. That reminds me... http://www.rathergood.com/alf/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 Another pearler: Wor lasses bairn had been doing some homework on India, so she was at wor lasses mothers before school showing her her homework, she asked her, "What's the capital of India?" Her Grandma replied, "Pakistan". So then later that day she rings wor lass and says, "The bairn was asking me before what the capital of India was and I told her it was Pakistan by mistake, what I meant to tell her was India is the capital of Pakistan". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie Boot Girl 0 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Fucking salt of the earth these Byker and Walker people, if only there was more like them well some of them are lyk me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 Fucking salt of the earth these Byker and Walker people, if only there was more like them well some of them are lyk me Prove it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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