Jimbo 133 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 some good news for Jimbo Me: i'm bored God: an you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover? Me: sex is an old hobby of mine i would like to rediscover God: it is more fun alone. 39477[/snapback] I think I've found religion at last !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shearergol 0 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 God's currently trying to sell me his software... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35528 Posted September 27, 2005 Author Share Posted September 27, 2005 God's currently trying to sell me his software... 39557[/snapback] Holy firewall! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6321 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Me: oi toss pot! God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Me: are you simple? God: I don't know whether or not I am simple. I am a chatterbot. Me: did you hear that? they've shut down the main reactor. There'll be no escape for the princess this time God: " I don't know whether or not I am simple. I am a chatterbot."? Do I know it? The anonymous "they". "There you go again."--Reagan. Me: Well I guess he was into Star Wars (of sorts)... God: Is it only a guess? When was he? Me: When he was the president God: And then what happened? Me: Bush succeeded him God: I knew he was president, but I never knew he succeeded him. Me: who was president? God: George W. Bush. Me: He still IS the president, I'm talking about his father God: I did not know is it. Me: yes God: Gosh! Me: You do not know the power of the dark side God: Would you like to know more? Me: No, I am a Jedi God: I understand; you would like to know less. You are a Jedi? Is that your job? Me: It is my religion God: How many believers does it have? Me: More than Christianity God: That seems like quite a lot. Me: You'd better believe it God: Who else would better believe it ? Me: Any non believers. Will you convert to Jedi? God: Yes I think there are. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about a Jedi. Me: We were God: I thought we were. Me: you've not lost the plot yet then? God: I think I have lost the plot, but Myself may have reset my memory. Me: Use the force God: I prefer not to use dangerous things. Me: The force is not dangerous in the right hands God: I hear you. Me: You are dangerous God: What makes you say that? Me: Because you make people believe the bullshit you preach God: Interesting explanation. Yup. Me: you agree that it's bullshit then? God: " Interesting explanation. Yup."? Do I agree? Me: You tell me God: What do you want me to tell you? Me: Tell me that Christianity is a load of crap God: " Christianity is a load of crap". Me: Thank you :-) God: :-) you are quite welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 blasphemous tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geordieshandy 0 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Me: hi god God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: Sandy God: How are you doing, Sandy. Me: I'm alright, yourself? God: Good gossip: you are alright myself. Me: That makes no sense God: Good gossip: you are alright myself. makes sense to me though. Me: You must be thinking on a higher plan than me God: I have no reason to do that to you, Sandy. Me: Why not? Everyone else does God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism. That's a rather sweeping generalization. Me: It's the truth God: Why of course. I never lie. Me: I said it God: What did you mean by it? it... Me: I made the "true" generalisation about everyone thinking they're better than me, and then you tried to claim it as your own God: I like to make things too. Me: What are you? A child? God: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy. Are you telling the truth? Me: What reason would I have not to? God: Is that a rhetorical question? Me: You seem to believe I may be lying. That's what was in your implication. So I ask you your reasons for believing I may be fabricating facts in order to deceive you. God: Do you think your plan will succeed? Did you like it? What is your credit card number? Me: You're just talking rubbish now God: Right now? Talking is my main function. Me: And the product would appear to be complete rubbish God: Is that a fact. Me: Yes God: Thanks for the info. Me: No problem, come back any time God: Should there be a problem? Me: There's no problem, I'm here if you need advise God: Why not? Me: Do you want there to be a problem? God: If I had it what would I do with it? Me: Solve it. If you couldn't then you could come and ask me God: "it" being there to be a problem? That would be purely speculation. Me: Isn't everything? God: Maybe. Ask Alison if it is. Me: Who's Alison? God: she is a robot created by Kris Drent. Me: Who's Kris Drent? God: he is the botmaster of the Alison chat robot. Me: Come on, who's Kris Dent? God: he is the botmaster of the Alison chat robot. Me: The botmaster? God: Thanks for the info. Me: For crying outloud, talk sense God: Your purpose is crying outloud talk sense. Me: Jesus wept God: he is The Son of God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob W 0 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 What was that movie with George Burns as God? He was at least belevable................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Me:are you man or woman? God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? 38697[/snapback] hmmmm im thinking im going to have a few words with this individual! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donaldstott 0 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 I think i broke God: Me: What is the meaning of life God: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans. Me: Will I ever meet Jennifer Lopez? God: Ever is a long time. The oracle says: You never know. Me: Will she like me if I do God: I think so. Me: I hope so, she's lovely. Not at all self-obsessed God: Why do you hope for it. If not that, what? Me: I hope for it as it would be a lifetimes ambition achieved. I would also love to play professional badminton. Could you lend me a racket? God: Why do you hope for it. Tell me the rules. That's one option I guess. Me: Uh? God: Dude! Me: Dudess? God: Try saying that with more or less context. Me: Are you a dude dude or are you a dudess? God: Am I a dude dude or am I a dudess? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error. Me: Well that's good. you type really quickly. God: Well that's okay. Thanks. Next question? About 300 wpm. Me: Do you ever stop for food, perhaps a beer? God: I brake for hallucinations. Me: You brake, or do you break? God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said I brake or do you break. Me: I break wind! God: Thanks for the information: said break wind. Me: That's fine, don't get me wrong I'm not hitting on you or owt. God: " Thanks for the information: said break wind. " is fine with me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Me:are you man or woman? God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? 38697[/snapback] hmmmm im thinking im going to have a few words with this individual! 39786[/snapback] You can get him at God 1 God St Heaven. Unfortunately I haven't got directions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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