2bias 3 Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 Taekwondo was ridiculous this morning got me fuming. boxing been awsome well done degale Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 overall a great finals then. Charlie brooker put somethig out about the british olympics coming up and the outgoing Chinese variation... Thanks to China, we have a blueprint for 2012 - virtual athletes and exciting made-up CGI sports All comments (150) Charlie Brooker The Guardian, Monday August 18 2008 Article history Thank God for dishonesty. I can't have been the only Briton to shift awkwardly in their seat throughout the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic games the other week. The Chinese mounted an unprecedented spectacle. Thousands of synchronised drummers, acrobats, fireworks, impossible floating rings made of electric dust (surely alien technology, that), dancers, prancers, singers and flingers. Maybe not flingers. I just threw that in to complete the rhyme. But you get the picture. It was amazing. It cost around £50m and was probably rehearsed at the shooty end of a machine gun. Dance, beloved populace! Miss three steps and we take out your kneecaps. Miss five and we go for the head. Dance till your homeland is the envy of the world! Stop weeping and dance! Yet even as my eyes took delight in the colour and magic, my spirits sank. I'm no patriot, but I feared for our national pride come the 2012 London Olympics. How the hell are we going to top a display like that? Our plans currently consist of six roman candles, Bernie Clifton riding his ostrich, and some Britain's Got Talent prick-a-ma-boob beatboxing on a trampoline. It would be less shameful if we all marched into the arena one by one, dropped our trousers, yanked our bumcheeks apart and let the entire globe gaze right up our apertures for an hour, while the Kaiser Chiefs perform their latest single in the background. If nothing else, it would give the rest of the planet something to think about. They'd never mess with us again, that's for damn sure. But my defeatism, for once, was misplaced. The ceremony wasn't as spectacular as it seemed. An impressive swooping aerial shot of fireworks bursting in footprint-shaped constellations turned out to be a computer-generated lie. And the cute little girl singing the Chinese anthem was only miming to the voice of another girl, whom the authorities considered too hideous to warrant airtime. Actually, they were right. The original girl was an absolute pig, with teeth so higgledy-piggledy you could be mistaken for thinking her skull was trying to chew its way out of her face. You could possibly use her head as the basis for the lead puppet in a children's programme set in Ugly Wood, provided you didn't mind your kids vomiting in fear and disgust each time she wobbled on screen. Oh shut up. I'm joking. Anyway, the deception didn't end with the opening carnival, but bled into the events themselves. Hordes of volunteers, known as "cheer squads", have been been planted in the stands during under-attended events, to disguise empty seats and goad the rest of the crowd into whooping on cue. What's remarkable about all this trickery isn't the trickery itself - but how ineptly it's been maintained. Even a six-year-old knows that once you tell a lie, you stick to it. You never admit the truth. Never. And when confronted with irrefutable evidence of your guilt, you dig your heels in further still - loudly denying reality until your accusers die of exasperation. It's a brilliant strategy that's kept the Bush administration going for years. But the Chinese? A few timid queries and they admitted it all with a shrug. Yeah, they were computer-generated image (CGI) fireworks. Yeah, the kid was miming. Yeah, we're using cheer squads. So what? We're not arsed. Stop wetting your pants. What are you going to do about it anyway? Did you know that if we all stood up and sat down at the same time, the resulting tidal wave would destroy your capital cities? Ask us again if we're arsed. Go on. Fire away. They didn't even try to cover it up properly before they were rumbled. The "cheer squads", for instance, were hardly subtle - they were decked out in bright yellow shirts and huddled together in conspicuous clumps. They couldn't have been more noticeable if they'd had searchlights for faces and foghorns for hands. All of which provides an effective blueprint for us to follow circa 2012. First up, the opening ceremony, in which a volcano rises from the Thames, spewing flaming Olympic rings into the night sky while Big Ben - or rather, a genetically enhanced version of Big Ben, one with straighter teeth and bigger tits - pirouettes in the background, miming to the Kaiser Chiefs' latest single. This goes on for 15 hours or until the nearest superpower threatens to bomb us. Then the events themselves begin. None of them takes place in the Olympic stadium because there is no Olympic stadium. We've not bothered building one. Instead, we've got a host of exciting made-up CGI sports. Moon Snooker! Unicorn Wrestling! Quantum Deathball! Dissenter Beheading! Pac-Man with Guns! Naturally, none of the other countries has been allowed to practice any of these games, whereas we've had four solid years to develop and perfect them. So we're guaranteed, ooh, at least three bronze medals. We'll thrash Paraguay, that's for damn sure. And as our virtual athletes (who aren't really there) take their place on the podium (which isn't really there either), thousands of specially trained spectators will loudly voice their appreciation at gunpoint. Then we'll kick the shit out of one or two overseas journalists and claim the whole thing's been a roaring success. Again and again, till we're blue in the face. Bish bash bosh. Job done. As a twat might say at the end of a column. At least one other person resists. 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Smooth Operator 10 Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/7578959.stm Taekwondo loser kicks ref in head!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 Call for Scottish Olympic team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 Being a goalie in handball, what a thankless task. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 "Team GB" is bad enough (enjoyed Stelling's rant about it yesterday). But they're calling the Union Jack the "Team GB Flag" now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 Radio 5 just said England get 8 minutes at the closing show. Apparently it will include a red bus and a privet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Besty 4 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/olympics/t...ndo/7578828.stm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 The closing ceremony is canny good though. Totally camp as well and all the better for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 The closing ceremony is canny good though. Totally camp as well and all the better for it. I suspect surgical procedures were involved in making those little Chinese girls grimace like that. has nothing on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 How cheesy is this olympic party on BBC1? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 The closing ceremony was incredible, its hard to see how we can top that, if the representation of our cultural image is lollypop ladies and double decker buses, then god help us ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 The closing ceremony was incredible, its hard to see how we can top that, if the representation of our cultural image is lollypop ladies and double decker buses, then god help us ! I wouldn't want us to try. I hope it looks good but the whole games in Beijing have been a bit obscene in terms of the money spent on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/olympics/a...ics/7579888.stm I love that Eric. B & Rakim song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 The closing ceremony was incredible, its hard to see how we can top that, if the representation of our cultural image is lollypop ladies and double decker buses, then god help us ! I wouldn't want us to try. I hope it looks good but the whole games in Beijing have been a bit obscene in terms of the money spent on them. I would be much happier with a less showy and extravagant (but obviously competent) 2012 Olympics that didn't fake bits of its opening ceremony or hire crowds to attend events and wasn't geared entirely to the hosts showing supreme dominance, some of which was achieved through some less than objective judging. Above all this I'd rather it wasn't hosted by a totalitarian regime with an appaling human rights record, a fact uniformly ignored by the world's press, even the Independent, whose front pages urge you to feel guilty about some global justice every single day. But it seems the IOC don't agree with me, none of that matters as long as you have a flashy opening ceremony apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 £20bn it cost them to host. I've not looked into it, but I think for that price they could have developed hover bikes. I propose a ribbon gets cut before the first event in 2012 and every UK resident gets sent a £300 cheque. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 The closing ceremony was incredible, its hard to see how we can top that, if the representation of our cultural image is lollypop ladies and double decker buses, then god help us ! I wouldn't want us to try. I hope it looks good but the whole games in Beijing have been a bit obscene in terms of the money spent on them. I would be much happier with a less showy and extravagant (but obviously competent) 2012 Olympics that didn't fake bits of its opening ceremony or hire crowds to attend events and wasn't geared entirely to the hosts showing supreme dominance, some of which was achieved through some less than objective judging. Above all this I'd rather it wasn't hosted by a totalitarian regime with an appaling human rights record, a fact uniformly ignored by the world's press, even the Independent, whose front pages urge you to feel guilty about some global justice every single day. But it seems the IOC don't agree with me, none of that matters as long as you have a flashy opening ceremony apparently. The IOC is like every sport-political body, they don't care about anything else, just sustaining themselves. Yeah they put the usual tripe out there about using this to open China up, but it was all lip-service, just looking at the ridiculous arrest rate (of anyone they were worried might in anyway not toe the line) running up to the Olympics showed that quite clearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Salmond rejects UK football team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 You join us live at the Berlin Olympics on "Grandstand" in 1938 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany. Everyone's here. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. He doesn't like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 You join us live at the Berlin Olympics on "Grandstand" in 1938 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany. Everyone's here. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. He doesn't like that. 1936 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 You join us live at the Berlin Olympics on "Grandstand" in 1938 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany. Everyone's here. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. He doesn't like that. 1936 Blame Partridge not me. Although I find a lot of the incidents surrounding Owens in that Olympics have been misinterpreted over the years, as he was treated better in Berlin than he was in America at that time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Besty 4 Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/olympics/t...ndo/7578828.stm http://olympics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/08/...erees-decision/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6481 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Does anyone give a fuck yet? £9.3 billion pounds, all this talk of legacy, how many world class schools, hospitals or shopping centres could have been bombed with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4005 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Does anyone give a fuck yet? £9.3 billion pounds, all this talk of legacy, how many world class schools, hospitals or shopping centres could have been bombed with that? Absolutely none what so ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35984 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 The whole thing is just an appalling waste of cash, if you ask me. We'll win fuck all as well. The sooner Seb Coe gets his smug moy off my telly the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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