tinofbeans 91 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 I see Keith Harris has surfaced again - involved in a bid to buy Man Utd. I still think the bloke's a con man. no shit, he's a fucking awful ventriloquist as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 I see Keith Harris has surfaced again - involved in a bid to buy Man Utd. I still think the bloke's a con man. no shit, he's a fucking awful ventriloquist as well. The negotiations must be interesting Glazier spokesman "We're not reducing our asking price for the club." Orville "You take your asking price and shove it up your arse!" Harris "I'm sorry about my little green friend, he doesn't represent my clients. He's not been sleeping well you know...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4005 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Little backstory to the Black's thing I heard on the news yesterday and this morning btw: one of the main reasons Black's put forward a recovery package recently (the one Ashley has just blocked) is because Black's wanted to sell an arm of their business a while ago. Apparently the timing would have been perfect but the sale was blocked at the time by (guess who) Ashley, who already had a major stake in the firm. That part of the business went tits up and is probably the main reason Black's got into financial difficulty. Sounds familiar. And Mikes now going to takeover Blacks on the cheap. Its ugly but its good business. In the FTSE 250, Sports Direct rose 7p to 113p after the retailer, which is controlled by Mike Ashley, the owner of Newcastle United Football Club, said that it was considering a bid for Blacks Leisure. The move comes only one week after the group blocked a £20 million cash call by Blacks, which rose 7¾p to 59p, and has now withdrawn its fundraising plans. Blacks was forced to adjourn its annual meeting last week, at which shareholders were to vote on the capital-raising, after Sports Direct revealed it had bought back a 28.5 per cent stake in the company and said that it would not support the cash call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Little backstory to the Black's thing I heard on the news yesterday and this morning btw: one of the main reasons Black's put forward a recovery package recently (the one Ashley has just blocked) is because Black's wanted to sell an arm of their business a while ago. Apparently the timing would have been perfect but the sale was blocked at the time by (guess who) Ashley, who already had a major stake in the firm. That part of the business went tits up and is probably the main reason Black's got into financial difficulty. Sounds familiar. And Mikes now going to takeover Blacks on the cheap. Its ugly but its good business. In the FTSE 250, Sports Direct rose 7p to 113p after the retailer, which is controlled by Mike Ashley, the owner of Newcastle United Football Club, said that it was considering a bid for Blacks Leisure. The move comes only one week after the group blocked a £20 million cash call by Blacks, which rose 7¾p to 59p, and has now withdrawn its fundraising plans. Blacks was forced to adjourn its annual meeting last week, at which shareholders were to vote on the capital-raising, after Sports Direct revealed it had bought back a 28.5 per cent stake in the company and said that it would not support the cash call. Another shop on the bouycoutt list. I just hope the fat cunt doesn't start buying food shops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4005 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Little backstory to the Black's thing I heard on the news yesterday and this morning btw: one of the main reasons Black's put forward a recovery package recently (the one Ashley has just blocked) is because Black's wanted to sell an arm of their business a while ago. Apparently the timing would have been perfect but the sale was blocked at the time by (guess who) Ashley, who already had a major stake in the firm. That part of the business went tits up and is probably the main reason Black's got into financial difficulty. Sounds familiar. And Mikes now going to takeover Blacks on the cheap. Its ugly but its good business. In the FTSE 250, Sports Direct rose 7p to 113p after the retailer, which is controlled by Mike Ashley, the owner of Newcastle United Football Club, said that it was considering a bid for Blacks Leisure. The move comes only one week after the group blocked a £20 million cash call by Blacks, which rose 7¾p to 59p, and has now withdrawn its fundraising plans. Blacks was forced to adjourn its annual meeting last week, at which shareholders were to vote on the capital-raising, after Sports Direct revealed it had bought back a 28.5 per cent stake in the company and said that it would not support the cash call. Another shop on the bouycoutt list. I just hope the fat cunt doesn't start buying food shops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 As a wee aside, I was in Aberdeen the other week. Whilst wobbling back from pub to digs, I was asked by one of Aberdeen's numerous beggars for "any spare change?" He was stationed outside Sp***s D****t, so I told him if he pissed all over the shop doors I'd give him a fiver. He did- I paid. ( I know , I know, I was bevvied M'Lud) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 As a wee aside, I was in Aberdeen the other week. Whilst wobbling back from pub to digs, I was asked by one of Aberdeen's numerous beggars for "any spare change?" He was stationed outside Sp***s D****t, so I told him if he pissed all over the shop doors I'd give him a fiver. He did- I paid. ( I know , I know, I was bevvied M'Lud) I hope you said after he'd finished "And now my work here is done, muhahaha!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 As a wee aside, I was in Aberdeen the other week. Whilst wobbling back from pub to digs, I was asked by one of Aberdeen's numerous beggars for "any spare change?" He was stationed outside Sp***s D****t, so I told him if he pissed all over the shop doors I'd give him a fiver. He did- I paid. ( I know , I know, I was bevvied M'Lud) It's ugly but it's good business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 I hope you said after he'd finished "And now my work here is done, muhahaha!" Damn the alcohol! T'would have been the perfect ending- as opposed to the actual ' gwaaan ya mad basser' which i came out with It's ugly but it's good business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 As a wee aside, I was in Aberdeen the other week. Whilst wobbling back from pub to digs, I was asked by one of Aberdeen's numerous beggars for "any spare change?" He was stationed outside Sp***s D****t, so I told him if he pissed all over the shop doors I'd give him a fiver. He did- I paid. I think you're onto something here. There ought to be a tramp's rate card for this sort of thing: Front doors of SD shop - 5 Inside the shop - 10 Over the shop merchandise (excl toon tops) - 20 In Ashley's office - 100 Front doors of Ashley's house - 150 In Ashley's petrol tank - 500 On Ashley's food - 750 In Ashley's face - 1,000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 As a wee aside, I was in Aberdeen the other week. Whilst wobbling back from pub to digs, I was asked by one of Aberdeen's numerous beggars for "any spare change?" He was stationed outside Sp***s D****t, so I told him if he pissed all over the shop doors I'd give him a fiver. He did- I paid. I think you're onto something here. There ought to be a tramp's rate card for this sort of thing: Front doors of SD shop - 5 Inside the shop - 10 Over the shop merchandise (excl toon tops) - 20 In Ashley's office - 100 Front doors of Ashley's house - 150 In Ashley's petrol tank - 500 On Ashley's food - 750 In Ashley's face - 1,000 If I could guarantee he was in at the time, I'd happily pay a few hundred quid for a handy tramp to drop a " Flaming Parcel" on Wor Mike's doorstep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 As a wee aside, I was in Aberdeen the other week. Whilst wobbling back from pub to digs, I was asked by one of Aberdeen's numerous beggars for "any spare change?" He was stationed outside Sp***s D****t, so I told him if he pissed all over the shop doors I'd give him a fiver. He did- I paid. ( I know , I know, I was bevvied M'Lud) For one hopeful minute I thought that this had occurred during the shop's opening hours, that would have been special. Great work all the same! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbyshinton 59 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I once had a shit in a sports shop right in middle of football section Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 (edited) I was walking past a cinema in a shopping centre in Leeds. It being the day that England had crashed out of the 2006 world cup, I was suitably refreshed and desperate for a piss. I asked if I could use the toilets there, being a frequent patron of the cinema, but was refused. Enraged I stormed away, and fortunately there was a screen close to the entrance, so I popped in and relieved myself in the corner whilst the latest Bruce Willis flick played on. Edited March 4, 2010 by luckyluke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I'm not sure I like the idea of my doctor pissing in cinemas. Call me picky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I wasn't a doctor then. Good job I wasn't caught, a consultant my mum knows still has to declare he was caught pissing in the street whenever he applys for a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I'm not sure I like the idea of my doctor pissing in cinemas. Call me picky. Oh, I dunno. It all depends on whether he washes his hands or not afterward. The real concern is whether he stands or sits (I can't recall which was the wrong way ) to wipe his arse after a shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khay 8 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Re:Monkey Fist I better not get any piss on my shoes when I walk past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39254 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Re:Monkey Fist I better not get any piss on my shoes when I walk past. I hope you spent your fiver wisely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khay 8 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barrack Road Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 As a wee aside, I was in Aberdeen the other week. Whilst wobbling back from pub to digs, I was asked by one of Aberdeen's numerous beggars for "any spare change?" He was stationed outside Sp***s D****t, so I told him if he pissed all over the shop doors I'd give him a fiver. He did- I paid. ( I know , I know, I was bevvied M'Lud) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I once had a shit in a sports shop right in middle of football section Wipe your arse on a Spurs shirt? Nice and white..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 27106 Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Man Utd Top League Of Most Valuable Clubs Manchester United may be chasing Chelsea in the Premier League but they have topped their rivals as the most valuable football club in the world. Despite a turbulent year for British sides, the Old Trafford club held on to the top spot in Forbes Magazine's list of the 20 biggest valued football teams. Seven of the 20 sides featured were English, despite the Premier League being the most indebted in Europe. United have topped the table for six years and been valued by Forbes at £1.19bn, a fall of 2% on last year. Arsenal came third, Liverpool in sixth and Chelsea in ninth. Tottenham Hotspur failed to make the top 10, coming in 12th place. Big-spending Manchester City trailed in 19th and Newcastle were rated as 20th most valuable, a surprise inclusion after they were relegated last season. Peter Schwartz, a business sports writer for Forbes, praised Manchester United's resilience as "one of the world's biggest sporting brands". He said: "The club has really established itself as one of the top brands in world sport. "New kit deals and great marketing has seen them maintain their status despite all the problems of the global recession." Real Madrid had to settle for second place, despite signing Cristiano Ronaldo from United last summer. The world's 20 most valuable soccer clubs generated a combined £422m in operating income last season. Combined revenues grew by £23.4m £3.57bn for the 2008-09 season. "The top five clubs took in 86% of the total because their worldwide following allows them to grab much more sponsorship and media revenue," a Forbes spokesman added. Broadcast rights account for 42% of the revenue of Europe's top 20 clubs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 27106 Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 #20 Newcastle United04.21.10, 06:00 PM EDT England League: Football League Championship www.nufc.co.uk Website Languages: English Newcastle's greatest success came a century ago when it won three English league titles and reached the F.A. Cup final five times between 1905 and 1911. After a long period of scant achievement, the Magpies repeatedly show stuttering signs of revival. But the club is still searching for a league title they haven't won since 1926-27, and which their Cubbies-like fans, the Toon Army, crave. Team Value 1$198 Million (2009: #19) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brummiemag1 0 Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Well Ashley as done a brilliant job in lowering expectations. 20th most valuable club in world football, still the 5th biggest supported club in England and yet some people will be satisfied if we cling onto 17th place in the Premier League next season Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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