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Chuck Norris Facts

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Nicked these off N-O where they were being used to describe Gary Neville (sacrilege!). Anyway, I'm sure people will have heard them a million times, but they're class. ;)


Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


Chuck Norris has two speeds, walk and kill.


When the boogey man goes to sleep at night, he checks his wardrobe for Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris is the reason that 'Wally' is hiding.


When Chuck Norris does a push up, he aint lifting himself up, he's pushing the world down.


Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice.


The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.


The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.


Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in only 3 moves.


The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in Primary School.


Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.


Chuck Norris has no doors, only walls he walks through.


Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they made him blink.


When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.


There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.


It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.


Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.


Chuck Norris is so fast, that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head!


Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. It's a shame he has never cried. Ever.



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Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".



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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.



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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

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Bridge over Danube could be named after Chuck Norris


A new bridge in Hungary could be named after the action film actor Chuck Norris after officials left the naming to an internet vote.


Votes for the Chuck Norris Bridge have so far attracted 11 per cent, of the vote, organised by the Ministry for the Economy.


That puts it just ahead of naming the bridge after Hungarian humorist Geza Hofi and three times more popular than naming it after state founder Szent Istvan.


Votes can be cast until September 8 on the website www.m0hid.gov.hu There are more that 500 nominations, as well as names referring to delays, such as 'It Will Never Happen Bridge'.


A government committee will review the three winning names, as well as other proposals put forward by local governments, cartographers, linguists and others.


The bridge over the Danube is due to open in 2008.



Edited by Zathras

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