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Speed of their defenders running back Looked like they were hauling a fridge

Someone tell Sunderland it’s started

Covering his head with his hand and "this garden gnome".

Some goal that!

Oh dear

1 nil Sheff United. HELLO RTG, HERE I COME!

Welcome to Pun Club.

Looks like MODOK off the X-Men cartoon

Down in a tubby station at midnight. Can anyone do worse?

Their manager has turned up dressed like a fucking pallbearer.

The Piles Council or something

Eating Trifles.

The suspension on his vespa must be absolutely fucked.

A Town Called Phallus.

That’s Paul Wellardarse.

The state of this bloke in the Sunderland end.

Commentator basically saying Bellingham will be fucking off if these get beat.

Well anyway, Sheffield United won their play off on aggregate 6 nowt and finished 16 points ahead of this lot, including their points deduction. This should be a formality.

Given how they’re being utterly destroyed already I’m half hoping they sneak the luckiest of 1-0 wins and spend next season regaining their destined record from Derby.

We need a paternity check, I think @thebrokendollmight have a son.

Luke 0-3 going off with a dislocated shoulder in the first minute His second worse injury after he almost died of embarrassment going after Alexander Isak

Well aye he's shit, but that doesn't stop him being one of their best players.

Collar bone I reckon, catch it wrong/funny and “snap”

Aye, it is. Luke Onion and VAR = red card

Hardly man. He's absolute shite, a complete liability. Is this match VARed?