Sima

Fuck. That's what happens when you miss your chances though.

Fucking Gary Birtles. He was a massive cunt on Wednesday night like.

Rip out all of his plants then get a few mates and gang-rape his wife. See how he likes you encroaching on his patch. Seems fair

I'll take a draw for this one.

£2.9m for Deane after selling Cantona for £1.2m That's some top business from Wilko.

This thread is going to be like watching retards throw dog shit at each other.

Apparently Everton have only broken into "that top four" since The Premier League started. If you get anywhere near matching our achievements in the Champions League I'll be very surprised. Cockend.

Who is the co-commentator? Just said Ameobi has pace. Clearly hasn't seen him play

Media stirring up shit because there's a slight chance we mightn't be an utter holocaust this season?

Subbuteo and waiting frantically for the players with the new kits to come out (Beatties normally had them first iirc) Looking at the massively expensive remote control cars in there and realising I would never own one.

RTG were wanking themselves silly at the time about that.

The whole "Lads" culture thing that accompanys football these days is the most cringeworthy tbh. Football has become way too common culture now. Before, 99% of football related stories were related to actually the game itself. Now, you would be lucky if it was 50%. The amount of column inches wasted on "Oooh, what's Abbey going to do now???" and "Forgiving Tony takes back John" Just fuck off and give us our game back you fucking parasites.

I seem to remember you saying he was absolute dogshit & will never make it after he came on for about 10 minutes a couple of years ago. Might have been Man City at home. Which I'm happy enough to admit - and fwiw, he was fucking terrible that night. A bit rash to write someone off so early. I hope you have learned your lesson As have I. Although Cacapa is still epic.

Kirkland such a holocaust of a goalkeeper.

I hit the sack

Back Joey Barton

Manchester

Saved themselves with Karl Pilkington's travel show though.

Like Neville in Auf Wiedersehen?

Keys also standing on what looks like an early Wheel of Fortune prototype.

Keys moving towards the screen to kiss Scholes' image.

Going on like International retirement is some kind of genius invention for Scholes.

Keys apopleptic that Scholes didn't get a penalty This is making me feel fucking nauseous tbh.

He was going to say that Key's would be proud to take one of them home but quickly corrected himself. Fuck me....

Look out for superlatives about "Ryan" and "Paul" coming up.