Howmanheyman

You Write an ode to monkey's fist, his delivery driving skills, his quick thinking to shit in a plastic bag when no toilets are available but most of all his love of lovely mammaries. ChatGPT Oh Monkey's Fist, your skills are great, As a delivery driver, you're never late. You weave through traffic with such ease, Your driving skills are sure to please. When nature calls, you don't despair, You improvise and show you care. With quick-thinking, you grab a bag, No toilet needed, what a brag. But what we love most about you, Is your love for mammaries so true. You don't hide it or try to hide, Your admiration for them so wide. From the smallest to the largest pair, You love them all and you don't care. Your love for them, we can't deny, Oh Monkey's Fist, you are mighty sly. So here's an ode to Monkey's Fist, A legend indeed, we can't resist. A delivery driver like no other, With skills, quick-thinking, and love for mammaries, oh brother.

Write a story of a man called ugly mackems who buys nine tickets for the match but likes to tell everyone including those who didn't get a ticket. Mention a good family, the labour club and his love of vodka and coke. Ugly Mackems, as he was commonly known, was a man with a heart of gold, but not much of a face to match it. He always felt like he stood out in a crowd and not in a good way. But he never let that get him down, especially not when it came to his beloved football team. One day, Ugly Mackems went down to the ticket office to buy tickets for the big match. Despite being short on cash, he ended up buying nine tickets in total. His excitement was palpable, but he couldn't help himself from boasting about it to anyone who would listen. He went to the local Labour Club that evening and couldn't resist telling his mates about his great haul of nine tickets. He even told some random strangers he started chatting with at the bar, who clearly had no interest in football. One of his regular drinking buddies, John, bumped into Ugly Mackems that night and mentioned he hadn't been able to secure a ticket for the match. Ugly Mackems immediately offered him one of his spare tickets and John was overjoyed, feeling grateful for Mackems' kindness. The next few days, Ugly Mackems couldn't stop talking about how he managed to nab nine tickets for the match. He popped into the local corner shops, the newsagent, and even the post office, telling anyone who would listen. He was just so excited to be part of the action. After buying the tickets, Ugly Mackems enjoyed a family dinner with his wife and two kids, all of whom shared his love for football. They discussed the upcoming match over a hearty meal and a bottle of wine. Come match day, Ugly Mackems and his family headed to the stadium with the remaining tickets in tow. When they finally reached the gates, he noticed a young lad with his dad frantically looking for tickets. Ugly Mackems couldn't resist and offered them a couple of his spare tickets, knowing they would make the most of it. He headed inside with his family, delirious with joy, and quickly ordered vodka and coke. That day, he had nine tickets to the match, but it was the joy he brought to others that made him happiest.

Cunt.

Someone 'heard' someone in their head tell them something exciting about Sunderland but was soon interrupted by the other voice which told him it was time to start punishing whores again even if they looked like normal women going about their lives. FTM.

It just puts loads of meows. Verdict. absolute shite.

I did, nowt happened.

Nah, that was just a friendly with the stated aim of making new friends, especially if the new friends were once formed by a wandering MLF.

Are there some kind of instructions?

I feel violated.

Is everyone feeling ok?

Need to get this knocked up at the arrivals in the airport..... "For top European football...... Sunderland is not your destination."

2nd Division fodder + having a loan to fix lifts + no parachute payments + hoping any loan players are competent = build biggest stadium in NE England and storm into Yewerup, marra. FTM.

It's better than talking about 2nd Division football.

Thanks for the update, PazakhLad.

I think @catmag has forgot so.......

It wouldn't surprise me. KK inherited Pav and Tommy Wright, only keepers I remember him buying was Hooper who was a disaster waiting to happen and Shaka who never really convinced me at all. Definitely a weak part of KK's management.

I always thought KK would've been happy enough just putting the turnstile operator in goal.

Eh? We won 2-1, this was my second away game. First and last time I was persuaded to go for some scran during the game so made my way back onto the leppings lane with a mate just as O'Neill scored the winner and so spoiled my celebration trying to jump up and down but not losing my hot dog.

Doug Weatherall will be forever pictured holding a telephone and giving his match report from SJP or Roker Park on the Saturday short Look North evening news bulletin.

Big draw.

Also probably why we're trying to sort the academy out by doing radical things like employing not just people, but people with a proven record. It'll never catch on.

Probably.

It did stay up after they went down as I remember walking past it and laughing.

Christ, can you imagine the reaction if they'd won the Falklands? 😲

Aye.