Howmanheyman

🎶 Her name was lola She was a showgirl With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there... ... Aaaat the... .... It was the hottest joint north of an Asda..... 🎵

You've got the real Ronaldo and then you've got the really need to retire Ronaldo. The Brazilian is the former, the Portuguese the latter.

Btw, the wife was ok with it as she knows I haven't 'forgotten' about it as we've been planning to go out on either today or tomorrow all week so she knows I've genuinely just got the days mixed up.

History is written by the winners and having just been to funeral the other week for a relative of the wife's it was yet another one where it's confirmed a funeral eulogy is written by whoever gets to talk to the priest/humanist doing the funeral. Unfortunately in the vast majority of cases it seems other people get to pick the deceased words which unfortunately and invariably becomes their whole POV on the deceased life and their relationship with the deceased. My condolences for having to hear it, RR.

At the minute I'd have Sven back up to Burn at CB, Fab gives us something none of the other CBs do but he's not the quickest and getting on like Burn is. Sven worries me a little purely because of those injuries he's had, you can't help but wonder is his form down to that? Longer term we're going to have to sort out the FB positions and obviously sort out who gets the nod between Malik and new bloke as well as Sven and new bloke at CB. Hopefully get someone who can push on to be trying to compete with Tino and Hall in the FB positions. Burn playing at LB these days is just shit recruitment on the club's part.

My memory of Hottiger is largely based on going apeshit at ewood park in the cup when he bent a superb free kick around the wall, think we sang Keegan Wonderland for twenty minutes after the whistle in a show of support to KK after the Cole sale.

I know, that's why I put the gallowgate stairway there, I couldn't find the real thing.

Our survey said....

"Alreet, hinny, let me me introduce you to the Victorian Gallowgate water closet...."

My granny who only went as far as Scarborough had three kids including my dad, he had itchy feet, hitch hiking to London when he was about 14 with another mate, he tells me of hanging around Westminster waiting for toffs to fling their tabs away before retrieving them for themselves. Anyway, after getting the KB from the RN the army took him so he was in for an initial nine years then signed on for another three so he'd get the army pension. A couple of months before his demob one of his mates who dealt with the demob stuff pulled him to one side and told him to extend his time by fifty odd days otherwise he'd forfeit his pension. My old man didn't realise his time in the glasshouse wouldn't count towards his time. I asked what he'd done wrong to serve jail time but apparently in his early army days his feet were still itchy.

I think Scarborough was the furthest my Byker granny ever got and that was just the once with us on a day out.

Really sorry to hear about today's news from all involved, seems to be the way that more shit happens when you get older or bad memories come around? I hope just talking on here brings some modicum of light relief if possible? On a slightly lighter note it's thirty years today since my first date with the missus and twenty nine since we got engaged a year later. Trouble is I thought the 13th was tomorrow!!

Next home match TBD gets a ticket for..... "You ok in the back, TBD? You're making some strange noises? Was that homemade sausage and liberty cap mushroom sandwich alright?" "Aye soooooouuuunnnd, wor kid. Are we at the Percy yet?"

Neither, our second against Liverpool, have a pic of it but change the player out for Milburn in the same position/stance etc. I'm sure some graphic guru could create it? (I'd have a go but I don't want to get in the way of any up and coming artistic geniuses like myself).

If it could replace him with Jackie Milburn scoring the Wembley goal that would be great. (Actually would make a decent pic as well).

The bottom line is the sports media have to have a Liverpool story/angle rather than moving on in a shit happens/shrug shoulders way had it been a club not in their special little clique.

"Poetic licence, daaaahling."

A mate did a job for his parents years ago when he'd just broken into their team, said his mam and dad were sound but got the impression or was told that Michael himself was as thick as a castle wall.

Gwen Stefani - Some Doubt (No doubt personally speaking)

I hope the PT isn't male and it isn't his meat and his protein she's getting 4 and 5 times a week?

Hard paper round if he was only 50.

I'm laughing, and CT is, at him using the word tummy instead of stomach, gut, belly etc rather than him getting a bad back.

Ruined by London life tbh.

FYP