Howmanheyman

He's a bit of a talker of shite is Mr Bailey.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Jackie Shiter has now left the building, fangoo'ver-much."

A Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Aye, loads, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle." The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK,...... so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just a few." The manager groaned and continued "Just a few? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for? £124,237.64" replied the Geordie. The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?" "Well, forst I selt him a smaal fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast, so I telt him he would need a boat, so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him doon tiv the car sales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki". The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a man came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?" "Nah, nah......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lass and I said......... 'Well, since ya weekend's fucked, you might as well gan fishing."

".....and then we went to Rome on wa holidays and I hit a juventus fan with a placca sword cos I thought he was a mag."

Two kids playing: "..... I'll be him and you can be the other one." "....and then I went over there." "....and then you go there." "....and then we both run back over there but we now have a dog." "..... And then I bump into another fan and he tells me he hates the mags anaarl." "....and then you tell him that we formed Bilbao." ".....and then he tells me everyone on his message board thinks Sunderland till I die was mint." "....and then you say how you many times Americans have told you they admire Sunderland football club." "....and then I bump into a mag and tell him how much I don't like him." ".....and then I offer him out and he gets scared and looks down at the ground and doesn't say anything." ".... And then an Everton fan joins us telling us we're great and poocastle are rubbish." ".... And all the other fans in the world tell us they think wise men say is our song and not been sung by other clubs like wolves and that." "....and then mam taks us into McDonald's in London and everyone claps at us when we walk out with our happy meal." "....and then I'm chris Rigg and you can be Lamal but I'm better." ".....and then...." Mam: "COME ON!! YOUR TEA'S READY!"

I remember them singing it at roker but they sang 'if you hate Newcastle/aye yi yippee' song far, far more which is pretty apt for them. Also remember them chanting 'Jackie is dead' from the main stand even though Milburn had been dead about a year at that point which was, of course, really classy by the classy fans.

Nobody wants that, Andrew.

He will be at some point tbf to PL.

The Cambridge and Oxford boat race is, I'll give you that one. As for football? The richest clubs, the ones with the richest owners usually did the best, even in the days of amateur football where a rich owner would employ a talented footballer at his mill or whatever, that's now been stopped by the clubs who've benefited from it in the past and don't want to overtaken by anyone else. The blue riband event in English football was always the cup, Liverpool didn't win their first until 1965, who would argue that Liverpool aren't one of the two biggest clubs in England right now? You have to have a chance to grow as a club and that is now being denied to other clubs who are ambitious and have the means to truly compete.

Every MLF knows that in 1956, frustrated by the mysterious cabal of Tyneside businessmen and their machinations of keeping Wearside down to boost Tyneside, Elvis Presley performed 'don't be cruel' as a plea to the MCTB to give Sunderland a break. From then on he was given the honorary title of the 'Memphis Marra'. True story.

@PaddockLad Although I'm not as technologically accomplished as some on here I reckon if you press 'play' and 'record' at the same time whilst pressing 'pause' as and when you need to you should be sorted unless I've forgotten something? Happy to help, Rob.

Cher has a strong claim for 'Gypsies, tramps and thieves' iyam?

It's going to be a long summer.

Him and Jeff Winter always came across as 'look at me' refs, he obviously couldn't stand Shearer and let that influence his decisions as well as not being as scared of our managers as he would've been had it been one of Ferguson's lads.

Looks like something Kevin and Perry would wear.

🎶 Sandro Tonali Save him for me The midfield maestro From Italy He's class, and so's his lass Sandro Tonali Frooomm Italllyyyy 🎵 You're welcome.

Obligatory 'I didn't even know they were playing?' post.

Blimey!

"FTM!!! MAGEDIA, MARRAS!!! MAGEDIA!!!

Gillespie is basically the kid that befriends De Nero in that advert but expanded to the whole of NUFC.

Who's that daft cunt? (Poso, not Tom).

"So lad says, 'Wykikeh, are you on that linkedin?', ah says, 'Linkedin? Tha'd have to be right twat to be on that shit show, you're not on it are you?' He then looked a bit sheepish so I told him that anyone on LinkedIn, ah wouldn't be showing them a bird's nest, the absolewte wrong'uns they are!"